Chin Puns (15)
1. I was feeling a little down, so I decided to get a chinplant to lift my spirits.
2. I entered the chin lifting competition, but I didn’t make the final cut.
3. My friend got some work done on his chin. Now he’s looking sharp.
4. I tried to eat my dinner off my chin shelf but everything kept sliding off.
5. I was feeling gloomy so I got a chin reduction to turn that frown upside down.
6. I’m so out of shape I can rest a drink on my chin ledge.
7. Don’t bother asking me to help clean up, I can’t chin down to reach anything.
8. I installed a chin hammock so I can take a nap anywhere.
9. I got tired of my double chin getting in the way, so I got it renovated into a duplex.
10. I entered a strong chin competition but I didn’t have the jawpower to win.
11. I’m thinking of converting my chin into a solar panel to save on energy costs.
12. I got a chin extender so I can rest my head on it when I’m tired.
13. I used to have a weak chin but now it’s so strong it could cut glass.
14. I’m so out of shape I use my chin as an ironing board.
15. Don’t bother knocking – just ring the doorchin.
Chin One-Liners (15)
16. My chin is so big it has its own climate.
17. I’m thinking of renting out my chin as a studio apartment.
18. Don’t mind me, I’m just here for the free chin rests.
19. My chin is so sharp it could cut diamonds.
20. I can’t see my toes thanks to my chin extension.
21. My chin is so prominent it has its own page on Wikipedia.
22. My chin is so massive it has its own gravitational pull.
23. I’m thinking of getting a chin reduction but I don’t have the guts.
24. I got tired of storing things under my chin so I installed some shelves.
25. I’m so out of shape I use my chin as a tea table.
26. My chin is so big it has its own area code.
27. I got a chin implant and now I have to register it as a lethal weapon.
28. My chin is so enormous it has its own weather reports.
29. I look so different after my chin job, even my pet doesn’t recognize me.
30. My chin is so massive it has its own gravitational orbit.
Best Chin Jokes (15)
31. I was feeling insecure about my weak chin, so I decided to get chinplant surgery. I went to the best plastic surgeon in town. He took one look at my chin and said, “Don’t worry, we’ll build you a chin that can cut through steel.” I was so excited. On the day of the surgery, I went under the knife full of hope. When I woke up, I was horrified to find the doctor had installed a literal axe blade on my chin! Now every time I turn my head too quickly I accidentally chop through something. Getting a chinplant seemed like such a good idea at the time!
32. I’ve always been self-conscious about my double chin. The other day I was at the grocery store and the clerk said, “Paper or plastic?” I said, “Better make it plastic, my double chin might rip through the paper bags!” The woman behind me in line laughed so hard I thought she would choke. So embarrassing! That night I started researching chin reduction procedures. I’m tired of my double chin getting me into awkward situations. The time has come to lose this flap of fat once and for all!
33. My friend Joe has always had a very prominent chin. When we were in high school, he accidentally poked me with it and left a bruise! A few years ago Joe started getting into parkour. One day he was doing some jumps and spins around a lamp post and misjudged a landing. He ended up clotheslining himself right across the throat on his own massive chin! He was okay, but we couldn’t stop laughing about it. Now we always tell him to be careful when doing extreme sports – that chin is a lethal weapon!
34. I’ve never liked my weak, receding chin. It makes me look timid and insecure. So I decided to get a chin implant to give me a nice strong jawline. I went way overboard and got the biggest implant available. Now I look like the Crimson Chin from Fairly OddParents! My chin juts out so far I have to turn sideways to walk through doorways. And I can’t look down anymore because my chin blocks my view of my feet. At restaurants I have to be very careful eating soup – one wrong slurp and I’ll imprint my chin in the bowl! Getting a more prominent chin seemed like a good idea, but I think I took it a bit too far.
35. I was always jealous of my friend Brenda’s sculpted chin and jawline. One day she told me her beauty secret – chin putty! She said she applies it every morning before going out. I ordered some chin putty online right away. I couldn’t wait to define my jaw and get a prominent, movie star chin. The package arrived and I eagerly applied the putty. But it drooped and dripped down my neck no matter how much I tried to sculpt it. I looked like I had a melted candle attached to my face! And it was so sticky. When I tried to take it off it pulled all the hair from my chin and neck. Turns out Brenda was just joking – chin putty isn’t a real thing. Joke’s on me for trying to cheat my way to a better chin.
36. I’ve never had much of a chin. I kind of blend into my neck without any jaw definition at all. Yesterday my boss called us all in for a meeting and said “I need strong leaders who will stick their necks out.” He looked directly at me when he said it! I was mortified. After the meeting I went straight to a plastic surgeon and booked a chin implant consultation. There’s no way I’m getting ahead at work without a nice prominent chin to stick out! No more blending into my neck for me – I’m getting a chin even Jay Leno would envy.
37. I’ve always been jealous of my sister’s elegant swan-like neck. But at our grandmother’s 90th birthday party last week, things got out of hand. My sister made a chin-first gesture to open a door for our grandma. But she completely misjudged the distance and ended up clotheslining our poor nana right across the throat! Our grandma took it surprisingly well, but she did gently suggest my sister get a chin reduction to “take it down a notch.” I couldn’t agree more – her chin really is absurdly long. If she’s not careful she could decapitate someone with that thing!
38. My coworker Bob is constantly bragging about his big strong chin. He claims it oozes masculinity and authority. Personally, I think he looks like the missing link. The other day Bob was demonstrating a sales pitch to a new client. He got excited and started pointing his massive chin every which way to emphasize his words. Well, on one dramatic chin gesture he swept everything off the table – contracts, laptops, coffee mugs went flying! Then he actually sliced through the table with his chin when he turned back around! The client just got up and walked out without a word. I had to stop myself from laughing. Maybe it’s time for Bob to get that chin reduction surgery he’s always talking about.
39. I’ve always wished I had a dainty little pixie chin. But unfortunately genetics blessed me with a huge, square jawline. When I complain about it, my husband jokes that he loves using my chin as a seat. Har har. Yesterday we were out antiquing and my husband spotted a beautiful vintage armchair. “Do you think it would support my chin?” I joked. He pretended to consider it seriously and said, “I doubt it – that chair wasn’t built to bear a load that heavy.” I was mortified! An old couple browsing nearby gasped and stared. Ladies, if you have an oversized chin, I suggest NOT marrying a comedian. Some things are just not amusing.
40. My girlfriend Stacy decided to get a chin implant last year to balance out her face. But I think she went a little overboard. Now her chin is so pointy you could juice a lime on it! She seems to think it gives her an elegant, sophisticated look. I don’t have the heart to tell Stacy her new chin looks like it could poke an eye out if she turns too fast. Just last week we were at a party, and out of nowhere I heard a shriek of pain! Stacy had spun around real quick and stabbed the woman behind her with her razor-sharp chin! Maybe it’s time for Stacy to downgrade to a less hazardous chin model.
41. I’ve always had a double chin, but as I’ve gotten older it’s gotten really out of control. I’m tired of looking like a melting Shar Pei! The other day I was trying to check my reflection in the rearview mirror and could barely see past my double chin sagging down. Then I noticed the driver behind me laughing hysterically. How embarrassing! That’s the last straw. I booked a chin liposuction consultation. It’s time to bid farewell to my saggy extra chin once and for all! Pretty soon I’ll have a nice defined jawline just like the celebrities. Then we’ll see who’s laughing at who.
42. I’ve never liked my weak, receding chin. It makes me look timid and insecure. So I decided to get a chin implant to give me a nice strong jawline. I went way overboard and got the biggest implant available. Now I look like the Crimson Chin from Fairly OddParents! My chin juts out so far I have to turn sideways to walk through doorways. And I can’t look down anymore because my chin blocks my view of my feet. At restaurants I have to be very careful eating soup – one wrong slurp and I’ll imprint my chin in the bowl! Getting a more prominent chin seemed like a good idea, but I think I took it a bit too far.
43. My uncle Pete was completely bald with a very prominent chin. We used to tease him and call him “Sir Lancelot.” One Thanksgiving, Uncle Pete tripped bringing the turkey to the table. He face planted right into the side of the turkey pan. When he stood back up he had a perfectly roasted turkey riding atop his massive chin with legs akimbo! We all laughed so hard. From then on for every holiday we’d beg Uncle Pete to do his famous Chin Turkey stunt. He was always a good sport about our teasing. Sadly Uncle Pete passed a few years ago. But we still honor him during the holidays by carving the turkey’s rear end and placing it ceremoniously atop the chin of the eldest male relative. Chin turkeys for life!
44. I’ve always been jealous of celebs with their polished jawlines and chiseled chins. So last year I decided to get chin fillers to improve my weak receding chin. I wanted a nice prominent chin that said “Don’t mess with me.” I let the doctor go wild with the fillers. Big mistake. Now I look like Hans Moleman from the Simpsons! My chin is all swollen and lumpy with filler nodules. And it juts out so far I can’t even see my feet. Getting a sharper chin seemed like a good idea until I ended up with astances.
45. I’ve always hated my double chin. The other day I was complaining about it to my girlfriend. She said, “Awww I think it’s cute! It reminds me of the fold under a bulldog’s neck.” I was like excuse me?? She said, “No no, it makes you look all tough and masculine!” Then she got this mischievous grin and added, “In fact, I’m going to start calling you Bulldog.” Oh heck no. The next day I booked a chin lipo consultation. Time to lose this bulldog neck once and for all! My girlfriend’s going to have to find a new chin to tease. This dog’s getting fixed.
Chin Jokes (10)
46. I’ve always been insecure about my weak, receding chin. It makes me look timid and unsure of myself. So I decided to get a chin implant to boost my confidence. I found a plastic surgeon who promised she could give me a nice, masculine chin. The day of the procedure I was so excited! I just knew a prominent chin would make me look and feel stronger. Well, I should have done more research on this doctor. When the swelling went down I was horrified to find she had given me a butt chin! Now I look like Witch Hazel from the Bugs Bunny cartoons! My new chin is so prominent it’s downright goofy looking. And the crevice is so deep I lose spare change in it all the time. Getting a chin implant seemed like a good solution for my insecurities. But this butt chin situation is making me feel worse than before!
47. My best friend growing up had an incredibly long, pointy witch-like chin. We used to tease her and call her “Baba Yaga.” One time we were hanging out in her room and she spun around real fast and accidentally stabbed me with her chin! Left the craziest bruise. A few years ago she posted a selfie on Facebook and I was stunned – she’d gotten a chin reduction and now had a cute little pixie chin. I texted her immediately demanding to know when she’d gotten work done. Turns out she actually had a sliding genioplasty – they surgically shortened her chin bone. No wonder the transformation was so dramatic. She’s really thrilled with the results. No more accidental chin stabbings for us!
48. I’ve always been super self-conscious about my weak chin and lack of any jaw definition. Online dating was a bust for me because of my terrible profile from the neck up. So I finally broke down and got a chin implant. I wanted it to be noticeable but subtle – just a little profile boost. Well my plastic surgeon got chin-happy and went overboard! Now I look like Megamind. Seriously I have a chin like a cliff ledge jutting off my face. On the plus side my dating profile is blowing up now. But it’s very awkward when I meet any of these women in person. As soon as I turn to the side they’re like WHOA YOUR CHIN! Honestly I’m thinking a chin reduction may be in my future. There’s prominent, and then there’s cartoonish. I think my current chin crossed that line.
49. I’ve always admired George Clooney’s signature chin dimple. So stylish and masculine! I asked my dermatologist if there was any way I could get my own chin cleft. She said sure, with chin lipo she could create the impression of a dimple. I was so excited! On the day of the procedure I envisioned how suave I would look once the swelling went down. But I ended up with less of a chin cleft and more of a chin crater. Seriously it looks like my chin got hit with a meteor. And food keeps getting stuck in the gigantic dent. So it turns out removing fat from your chin does NOT magically give you a cute little cleft like Clooney’s. Beware – chin dimple envy can lead to disaster!
50. I was always self-conscious about my receding chin. I felt like it made me look weak and timid, the exact opposite of how I want to come across in business meetings. So I got a chin implant to get a stronger jawline that says “I’m a shark, don’t mess with me.” But I think the plastic surgeon got the wrong idea. Because now I literally have a shark fin on my chin! It’s huge and pointy and totally bizarre looking. I can’t really turn my head from side to side smoothly anymore. And I keep accidentally impaling people when I gesticulate. Getting a more prominent chin seemed like a good career strategy at the time. In hindsight, I should have specified NO shark fins!
Chin One-Liners (10)
51. Don’t cry over spilled milk, unless it’s dribbling down your chin shelf.
52. I was feeling gloomy so I got a chin reduction to turn that frown upside down.
53. My double chin got so out of control I had to start paying it rent.
54. I have such a weak chin that folding laundry intimidates me.
55. I look so different after my chin implant, sometimes even I don’t recognize myself in pictures.
56. I’m considering getting light fixtures installed under my prominent chin for hands-free illumination.
57. My chin is so massive it tried to unionize for better working conditions.