Chair Puns
- Don’t get too comfy in that chair, or you might get chair-ished!
- That broken chair is unbearable to sit on. We need to chair-ish our furniture more.
- I asked my friend if he liked the new chair I bought. He said it looked a little cheesy, but overall it was gouda.
- My favorite easy chair broke. Now I’m feeling pretty lazy about getting a new one.
- I was going to reupholster my dining room chairs, but I decided to just wing chair it for now.
- Sitting in a rocking chair helps me relax and not take things for granite.
- The chairs were so uncomfortable that people kept squirming. It was a seating debacle!
- I entered my custom chair in the county fair, but it didn’t win first prize. I guess the judges weren’t taking any seat entries.
- I’m looking for a chair that will give me good back support. Any recliner-dations?
- That chair is so old, it belongs in a museum. But it still looks chair-ishing to me!
Chair One-Liners
- This chair is so uncomfortable, it must have been designed by a backstabber.
- They say chairs are for sitting, but I prefer to use mine for procrastinating.
- Don’t you hate it when someone pulls your chair out from under you? I guess they must really like to get a rise out of people.
- I just got a chair with built-in surround sound speakers. Now I can listen to music while I sit on my chair!
- Sitting in chairs all day gives me a pain in my chair. I mean, my rear.
- I was going to reupholster my chair, but I decided to just wing chair it for now.
- I entered my custom chair in the county fair, but it didn’t win first prize. I guess the judges weren’t taking any seat entries.
- That chair is so old, it belongs in a museum. But it still looks chair-ishing to me!
- This chair doesn’t rock; it’s always so straight and upright. It must have been raised by very strict chairs.
- My chair has wheels on it so now I can just roll around the house. It’s so much easier than walking!
Best Chair Jokes
21. I was sitting in my favorite chair yesterday when all of a sudden one of the legs snapped clean off. I guess you could say I was in a bit of a predicament.
22. Why was the chair sad? Because it had a hard time dealing with life’s ups and downs!
23. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a chair? Don’t worry, he’s fine – it was a soft recliner.
24. My friend came over and broke my favorite chair. I told him not to worry about it, no harm no chair.
25. What does a chair need after a long day of being sat on? A massage chairapist!
26. Why did the chair force his son to play sports? He wanted him to chairish his athletic chairt.
27. Why was the rocking chair jealous of the bean bag? Because everyone thought the bean bag was way more chill.
28. How does a chair get around? On its chairriage, of course!
29. Why did the chairs stop talking to each other? They had a falling chairt.
30. Why can’t chairs tell good jokes timing. They always mess up the chair-livery.
31. My chair and I get along great because we always see eye to eye chair.
32. What kind of chair likes to sneak around? A spy chair!
33. Why did the chair cross the road? To get to the chair side!
34. Why are chairs so bad at playing hide and seek? They aren’t very good at chairding.
35. Why do chairs make great detectives? Because they always get to the bottom of things!
36. I was sitting around bored when suddenly my chair collapsed underneath me. I guess that chairtainly took me by surprise.
37. Did you hear about the chair who suddenly won the lottery? Talk about an upholstery change!
38. Why are electric chairs always so positive? Because they light up everyone’s day!
39. The moldy old chair sat in the corner covered in dust and cobwebs. It was feeling neglected and down in the dumps.
40. I caught my chair lying down on the job. When I asked it what it was doing, it said it was chairtting.
41. Confession: I broke my strict diet today and ate an entire bag of chips while sitting in my favorite chair. I guess that makes me a hypocchairite.
42. I’m so excited about finally buying a nice, comfortable chair. My butt’s been waiting for this chairish moment forever!
43. My living room chairs keep disappearing every night. I think I might have a sit-napping problem on my hands.
44. Make sure to stretch before sitting in a chair all day. You don’t want to pull a hamstring or get chairiosis.
45. Why do teenagers prefer bean bag chairs over regular chairs? Because they’re sofa king cool.
46. I stubbed my toe on my chair leg this morning and yelled some very curse word chairs. Ouch!
47. My chair’s left leg is slightly shorter than the others so it wobbles every time I sit on it. I’m tired of being unbalanced and chairitated all the time!
48. I was going to start building chairs for a living but I didn’t have the carpentry skills or the chair-with-all to get started.
49. I came home to find my favorite chair in pieces on the floor. I cried out, “What a disaster, chairmageddon has begun!”
50. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
51. Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized? Reports say it was due to too many strokes!
52. Why don’t balloons fly on windy days? They might get blown away!
53. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name!
54. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. It’s very hard to put down.
55. Did you know the first French fries weren’t made in France? They were cooked in Greece!
56. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
57. How does NASA organize a party? They planet!
58. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere!
59. What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y!
60. Did you hear about the cartoonist who was found dead in his home? Details are sketchy.
61. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer once. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!
62. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm!
63. Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory in France? There was nothing left but de Brie!
64. I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.
65. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
66. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
67. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now!
68. I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!
69. Why do ducks make great detectives? They always quack the case.
70. Did you hear about the psychic dwarf who escaped from prison? The headlines read “Small medium at large!”
71. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
72. I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is!”
73. Last night, someone stole the limbo stick from the party I was at. How low can you go?
74. Did you hear about the reporter who quit her job? She said the hours were long but the pay was short.
75. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.
