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50 Funny Car Jokes

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50 Funny Car Jokes

Car Puns

  1. What do you call a line of cars waiting for gas? A fuel queue.
  2. Why was the SUV so exhausted after the road trip? It was car pool tunneling.
  3. My friend got food poisoning from the baked beans he ate in his car. It gave him gas pains.
  4. Why do electric cars have such quiet motors? They were designed with engine filters.
  5. What did the mechanic tell the car owner who kept stalling? “Time to address the auto issues.”
  6. The race car driver had to make a pit stop since his fuel tank was running on empty.
  7. I was going to make a joke about a Tesla, but then I thought it might need charging first.
  8. My friend accidentally filled his car up withAlphabet soup. Now it’s got ABC diesel.
  9. What do you call an electric vehicle that ran out of power? A Toyota Prius brick.
  10. Why was the SUV so slow up the hill? It just didn’t have enough horsepower.

Car One-Liners

  1. I ran over a flock of geese in my car yesterday and got goose bumps.
  2. Parallel parking is a spot of bother.
  3. My friend was addicted to brake fluid, but he decided to stop.
  4. Driving school was a breeze since I learned auto-motively.
  5. Getting my driver’s license only took one go, so I passed with flying cars.
  6. Riding a bus is the wheel deal compared to being stuck in traffic.
  7. My mechanic told me I had rod knock, but I didn’t hear anything.
  8. My girlfriend asked why I carry a car door in the backseat. I said it’s for emergencies in case I need to make a quick escape.
  9. I hate when my GPS says to turn right in .2 miles. .2 miles of what??
  10. The hardest part about learning to drive stick is dealing with the jerk.

Best Car Jokes

21. My friend just got arrested for stealing over 100 cars from local dealerships. Police described it as a catalogue of auto crimes.

22. Did you hear about the guy who tried to steal a police car? He saw the opportunity and took a cop.

23. Why did the police officer pull the race car driver over? He was going speeds that were formulaic.

24. What do you call a number of unorganized cars? A car-tastrophe.

25. Why did the man name his car Brad? Because it was a Pitt stop.

26. How does a car stay healthy? It gets car-dio exercise from driving.

27. Did you hear about the man who was run over by a soda truck? It was just a soft drink injury.

28. Why was the boy disappointed with his Hot Wheels set? He was expecting actual hot wheels.

29. Did you hear about the restaurant on wheels? It was a mobile dinette.

30. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because the P is silent.

Car Puns

  1. What kind of car does a sheep drive? Their SuBAHHru.
  2. How does a car stay clean? It goes through the car wash.
  3. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They said he made a mint.
  4. A proton arrived late to a party. He forgot to make the quark.
  5. What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.
  6. Why is England the wettest country? Because the queen has reigned there for years.
  7. How do trees access the internet? They log in.
  8. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
  9. The frustrated cannibal threw up his arms.
  10. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

Car One-Liners

  1. Parallel parking is a spot of bother.
  2. My friend was addicted to brake fluid, but he decided to stop.
  3. Driving school was a breeze since I learned auto-motively.
  4. Getting my driver’s license only took one go, so I passed with flying cars.
  5. Riding a bus is the wheel deal compared to being stuck in traffic.
  6. My mechanic told me I had rod knock, but I didn’t hear anything.
  7. My girlfriend asked why I carry a car door in the backseat. I said it’s for emergencies in case I need to make a quick escape.
  8. I hate when my GPS says to turn right in .2 miles. .2 miles of what??
  9. The hardest part about learning to drive stick is dealing with the jerk.
  10. I ran over a flock of geese in my car yesterday and got goose bumps.

Best Car Jokes

51. What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.

52. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.

53. I entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping at least one would win. But no pun in ten did.

54. What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe? Roberto.

55. Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it’s tearable.

56. I’ll call you later. Don’t call me later, call me Dad.

57. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!

58. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.

59. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

60. I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.