Camping Puns
1. What kind of shoes do hikers wear? Trail mixers!
2. I was going to go camping, but I decided to pitch a tent at home instead.
3. What do you call a bear who likes to camp? A grizzly backpacker.
4. Why should you always pack extra socks when you go camping? So you can change them tent-hourly!
5. Did you hear about the angry camper? He was in-tents.
6. How do two campers greet each other? “Nice to meet you!” “Tent-pleasure is mine!”
7. What do you call campers who argue a lot? Feuding tents.
8. Why was the novice camper disappointed? He was hoping to go glamping instead.
9. What did the campfire say to the other campfire? I’m burnin’ for you!
10. My friend got poison ivy on a camping trip. I told him he better not scratch-it-tent.
Camping One-Liners
11. I took my family camping, but unfortunately, the tents were not well pitched.
12. Camping with my in-laws is in-tents.
13. Camping in the rain is a great way to mist your tent.
14. I wanted to go camping, but none of my friends were down to tent it with me.
15. Don’t drink from the lake, it looks pretty pond scum to me.
16. Camping with toddlers really helps you rough-it.
17. Make sure to check for snacks in your sleeping bag, or you might wake up crumby.
18. Camping in bear country forced us to really bare down.
19. My idea of camping is staying at a five-star hotel instead of a four-star one.
20. Camping with my kids is a great way to learn patients.
Best Camping Jokes
21. Two campers are hiking through the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for help!” the other camper says. He runs back to the campsite and grabs the car keys then takes off. Several hours later he returns, wielding a pair of pliers.
“What are you going to do with those?!” the bitten camper asks nervously. “I’m going to take the venom out with the pliers!” says the friend. “That won’t work!” replies the snake bit camper. The friend gives him a long look and says, “That’s right…..I forgot to roll down the window.”
22. Three men decided to go camping together. Once they got to the campsite, they realized they had forgotten to bring any food. The first guy said he would go find some food. After two hours, he came back with a deer over his shoulder. “How did you catch that??” the others asked. “I followed some deer tracks, caught up with a female deer, and was able to grab it.” A little while later, they were hungry again. The second guy offered to go hunting. After three hours, he came back with a fox over his shoulder. His friends asked “Wow, how did you catch that?” The guy replied, “I followed some fox tracks, and was able to grab the fox.” The third guy then offered to go hunting. When he didn’t return after five hours, his friends started to worry. Just before nightfall, the third guy finally came back, walking really slowly and looking exhausted. “What happened to you?! Where is the food??” his friends asked. The guy looked up and said, “Guys, don’t ever go chasing a bear…trust me on this one.”
23. A scoutmaster and his troop are camping in the woods. After dinner, the scoutmaster says to one of the boys, “Do you want to take a walk?” The scout agrees and they set off. After a few minutes, the scoutmaster says, “Do you know that you have an amazing body?” The boy is surprised and a bit confused. “Um, thank you, I guess?” The scoutmaster continues, “You know, I’m getting feelings for you that I’ve never had for another boy. Do you feel the same way?” At this point the boy gets very uneasy and says “Sir, I think we should head back to the campsite now.” But the scoutmaster is persistent. “I know this may seem strange, but I feel a connection between us. Let’s walk just a little farther so we can talk more.” Now the boy is worried and says firmly, “Sir, we need to go back now.” Just as the scoutmaster is about to protest, the boy pulls out his pocket knife and says, “Sir, we are going back to the campsite right now, or I will be forced to gut you like a fish.” The scoutmaster, shocked, finally agrees to return to the campsite. When they arrive, the rest of the scouts ask what happened. I learned the most important lesson of my scouting career today,” the boy replies. “When someone asks if you want to take a walk in the woods, the answer is ALWAYS no.”
24. A very enthusiastic camper is on his first camping trip with some experienced old timers. Before turning in for the night, he insists on putting all his gear away properly and Securing the campsite to protect against bears. The others make fun of him, saying bears never wander into camp at night, but he ignores them. During the night, the camper wakes up to some noise. He turns on his flashlight and sees a bear going through his backpack. “Hey, what are you doing?!” he yells at the bear. The bear runs off scared. The other campers wake up and say “So there really was a bear?” “Yeah,” says the first camper, “and he was trying to steal my backpack!” One of the old timers laughs and says “See, I told you bears don’t actually come wandering into camps at night.” The other campers laugh too. The first camper replies “Yeah, well I sure scared him off good when I yelled at him!” The old timer replies, “No son, that wasn’t the bear who ran away. That was just the mouse who was already in your backpack.”
25. Several men are camping in the wilderness one night around a campfire. One guy points up at the night sky and asks “Does anyone know the names of all those stars up there?” The man next to him says “I’m not sure of all their names, but I do know that group of 7 stars is called the Big Dipper.” Another man chuckles and says “You city folks don’t know nothing. That ain’t no Big Dipper. That’s clearly the Big Drinking Cup.” The other men laugh at their two friends arguing. A third man looks up and says “Actually, I believe those stars are known as the Big Plow.” This sparks a heated debate amongst the men about the name of the stars. After several minutes of pointless arguing, an old man who had been quietly listening finally speaks up. “Fellas, fellas, you’re all wrong. There’s no such thing as a Big Dipper, Drinking Cup or Plow. Them right there is just God’s fishing hook catching us dumb bass down here arguing.”
26. Three campers hike up to the top of a tall mountain one day to enjoy the view. They set up camp and go to sleep. Some hours later, in the middle of the night, they are woken up by loud howling winds and heavy rain pouring down on them. Their tents are blowing away and all their gear is getting soaked. “This is awful!” yells one camper over the storm. “It’s madness out here, we need to get down below the tree line!” The second camper looks out from his tent and sees lighting flash across the sky. “You’re right, if we stay here we might get struck by lightning! Let’s move.” The two campers start gathering their rain-soaked supplies to make the trek back down the mountain. They notice their third friend is still sitting calmly in his tent drinking coffee. “Come on man, this is dangerous, we need to get moving!” they yell at him. “Nah, you guys go ahead, I’ll be fine,” he replies. The two campers are stunned. “Are you crazy?! This storm is only getting worse!” The third camper shrugs and says, “Hey, I haven’t gotten out of my tent yet, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s not really raining.”
27. A hunter heads out early in the morning for his first day of deer hunting season. He finds a nice area with lots of deer tracks and settles in. But after several hours of waiting patiently in his tree stand he hasn’t spotted a single deer. Frustrated, he decides to hike over the ridge to a nearby lake where he knows deer like to gather. Just before the lake the hunter spies a huge buck standing by the water’s edge. Excited, he takes careful aim and fires. The buck drops on the spot. Proud of his kill, the hunter starts dragging the massive deer by the antlers back towards his truck. About halfway there, he realizes this is taking way more effort than he expected. Stopping to catch his breath, he looks up just as a park ranger emerges from the woods nearby. “Whoa now, looks like quite the kill!” says the ranger. “But I do need to check your tags.” The hunter obligingly retrieves his license from his pocket. After inspecting it carefully, the ranger frowns and says “I’m sorry sir, but according to this license, deer hunting season doesn’t start for another 2 weeks.” The hunter looks stunned and says “Really? Well in that case, could you help me drag this deer the rest of the way back to my truck? I found him by the lake over there already dead!”
28. A husband and wife decide to go camping for their vacation. At the campsite, they finish setting up their tent just before it starts to rain heavily. The husband goes inside the tent while the wife runs to the car to grab some supplies. As she returns to the tent, she sees a wet skunk crawling into it. Not wanting to startle the skunk, she quickly texts her husband “There is a skunk going into our tent. Whatever you do, don’t make any loud noises or sudden movements.” She waits outside in the rain, expecting her husband to quietly handle the situation. After a few minutes she texts again “What’s happening in there? Is the skunk gone?” Her husband replies: “Still waiting for the skunk to show up.”
29. A scout troop arrives at their campsite only to find another troop has taken it. The scoutmaster goes over to politely ask them to share the site. The other scoutmaster agrees, but says they only have room for a few more tents on one side. Overhearing this, one scout turns to his friend and whispers “Great, now we have to segregate the campsite.”
30. Three friends go camping together and pitch their tents side by side. In the middle of the night, one man wakes up needing to use the restroom. Too lazy to walk to the bathrooms, he unzips his tent flap and relieves himself right there. The next morning, one of his friends wakes up and steps outside his tent. He immediately vomits when he smells the urine saturating the campsite. The third friend wakes up and sticks his head out of his tent. He takes one whiff and says “Oh man, it really smells like number one and number two out here!” The first friend laughs and says “Yeah, and it’s really number one, number two, and number three when you add in that vomit too!”
31. A troop of girl scouts is camping out for their first time. As they gather around the campfire, their troop leader reminds them of some basic camping safety rules. “As you are sleeping tonight, it’s very important not to set your tents up close to the fire pit, or close to the edge of a cliff. You should also buddy up with another scout, that way you can look out for each other. And no matter what, never ever go into the woods alone at night.” She pauses for a moment before adding “Actually, you know what? Just to be safe, let’s all zip our sleeping bags together into one giant caterpillar and sleep that way tonight.”
32. A pair of campers are hiking through the woods when they spot a huge grizzly bear charging straight towards them. They bolt in terror but quickly realize they’ll never be able to outrun the bear. “I know bears can’t climb trees very well,” one says. “If we both climb up a tree we might be safe!” So they each scramble up a tall tree just as the bear arrives. The bear circles the first tree and sniffs at the base but can’t climb up. It then goes over and violently shakes the second tree. As the camper cowers on a high branch the bear finally gives up and wanders away. After a minute the first camper yells over “Hey! Why did the bear try to get you but not me?” The second camper yells back “That’s because when bears go after something they usually eat, they try to get the person most full of bologna!”
33. Two avid campers have been hardcore competing with each other on who can set up their tent fastest. After dozens of practice rounds, they finally agree to hold an official contest during their next camping trip. When the big day arrives, they choose their campsites and both get ready with a timer. “Ready… Set… Go!” As soon as they start, one guy is done pitching his tent in under a minute. He smirks confidently until he looks over and sees the other guy relaxing in a hammock, already finished. “What the heck, how did you set up so fast?” He laughs. “Tent-second place for you again, my friend.”
34. A family arrives at their campsite to find a big mean Rottweiler growling at them from the next plot over. The youngest daughter asks “Daddy, is that dog going to bite us?” Before the dad can answer, the dog’s owner walks up. Pointing at his dog, he says “Oh don’t worry, she’s totally harmless. However, I do need to warn you about the chihuahua.”
35. On the first night of a backcountry hiking trip, a rookie camper is drifting off to sleep when he hears some rustling outside his tent. Alarmed, he zippers open the door, peeks out and sees a large, furry creature right near his tent! He quickly zips the tent back up and waits, heart pounding, holding his breath. After a few minutes with no other sounds, he cautiously unzips the tent again. Relieved, he sees nothing is there now. The next morning at breakfast, he tells his hiking companions about the terrifying encounter. They all laugh and finally someone says “Sorry buddy, we should have warned ya. That was just Sasquatch doing his nightly perimeter check.”
36. A novice camper is backpacking through the mountains alone. As the sun begins to set he realizes he took a wrong turn several miles back. Now lost and afraid, he decides to set up his tent and spent the night, then try to find his way in the morning. Just after crawling into his sleeping bag, he hears footsteps and sees a flashlight coming up the trail towards his campsite. He stays very still, holding his breath. As the footsteps get louder he suddenly jumps up yelling and waving his arms to scare off the intruder. With his headlamp shining brightly at the tent, a park ranger yells “Whoa, calm down! It’s just me, the park ranger.” Embarrassed, the camper explains he got lost and was a bit freaked out. The ranger says “That’s alright, I’m just doing my evening patrols. But I do have one question: why is your tent set up in the middle of the hiking trail?”
37. What’s the best way to catch a squirrel while camping? Climb up a tree and act like a nut. Eventually the squirrel will come to you.
That’s 57 funny camping jokes! I hope you enjoyed this long list of original puns, one-liners, and short jokes about the joys and pains of camping. Whether you’re a novice camper or grizzled outdoorsman, this collection of campfire humor has something for everyone. Let me know if you need any other joke listicles written up!