Butter Puns (20)
- I can’t believe it’s not butter…because it definitely is butter.
- Want to hear a butter joke? Nevermind, it might spread too easily.
- My friend got mad when I used his expensive French butter. I told him not to get so churnalistic.
- The pad-butter was caught stealing from the pan-try. His career is toast.
- The butter was feeling lonely, so it went to a club. Before long it was on a roll.
- I butter not make any more silly puns or people might spread rumors about me.
- Did you hear about the stick of butter that went to jail? Its bail was set at $50,000.
- I asked the evil butter to please stop melting people with his laser vision. He just laughed and said, “I can’t believe it’s not better.”
- My friend got mad when I used all his butter for cooking. I told him to relax and not get so churned up about it.
- The butter entered a bodybuilding contest. It was hoping to butter up the judges.
- I tried to warn the butter that the stove was hot, but it just melted away.
- When the butter lost his job, he fell into a pit of depressin’.
- The butter was feeling under the weather, so he took some DayQuil. Before long he was feeling butter again.
- Did you hear about the arrogant butter who thought he was better than everyone else? What a spreadhead.
- The butter was feeling drained after a long day at the office. A nice relaxing bath helped him rebutterate.
- The butter was proud of his sweet dance moves. He really knew how to cut a rug.
- I tried to warn the butter that the expiration date was close, but he just shrugged it off. I guess some people are just spoiled.
- The butter entered a pizza eating contest. He was feeling very guttery afterwards.
- Did you hear about the butter who was trying to spread malicious rumors? What a smear campaign.
- I bought some European butter today. The price was highway rob-herry.
Butter One-Liners (25)
- I butter keep my mouth shut before I churn out another bad pun.
- Butter late than never!
- Make sure you butter believe it when I say how hilarious these jokes are.
- Go butter yourself – these jokes are too funny!
- My friend laughed so hard at my butter jokes he was practically rolling on the floor.
- These butter jokes really spread joy.
- Butter brace yourself – these jokes are comedy gold.
- My butter jokes will have you laughing your butt-her off.
- Butter mark my words – these jokes will tickle your funny bone.
- Don’t be salty – have fun with these butter jokes instead.
- Butter me up with applause if you enjoyed these jokes!
- These jokes butter add some cheer to your day.
- My butter jokes are so funny you’ll think you died and went to comedy heaven.
- Go ahead and laugh, I won’t judge – my butter jokes are hilarious!
- Hope these butter jokes were a spreadin’ good time.
- Butter believe these jokes knocked your socks off.
- My butter jokes always leave ’em laughing.
- Think my butter jokes are funny? Butter yet, just wait until you hear my cheese jokes!
- Hope these butter jokes were very punny!
- If you liked my butter jokes, stick around – I have a churn more!
- These jokes are so funny, I really buttered you up.
- My butter jokes always spread lots of laughter.
- Butter get ready to laugh your head off at these hilarious jokes!
- Hope you enjoyed my butter jokes – I spread laughter wherever I go.
- If you liked my butter jokes, I have more that will churn you inside out with laughter.
Best Butter Jokes (53)
1. My friend tried to start a butterfly farm, but his business never took off. He realized he bit off more than he could chew when it came to raising butterflies. I told him, “Don’t worry, every business has its ups and downs. Your idea just needs more time to spread its wings and fly.”
2. I went to the store to buy some butter but all they had was margarine. I told the clerk, “This just isn’t going to cut it. Butter is so much better, you can really spread it around. Margarine is a squeeze of the second rate stuff. Don’t try to butter me up, I want the real deal!”
3. Did you hear about the thief who only stole tubs of butter? The headlines read “Butter Bandit Strikes Again!” Apparently he had a fetish for the creamy stuff. When they finally caught him, he pleaded with the judge, “Have some sympathy for a poor butter lover!”
4. My friend and I argued about who made the best grilled cheese sandwich. I insisted that lots of butter was the key. He said using mayo instead of butter was better. We agreed to a cook-off to settle it once and for all. I made my buttered sandwich, he made his mayo’d one. After tasting both, the clear winner was butter. My friend finally admitted defeat and said, “Yeah you’re right, butter makes it so much tastier. I shouldn’t have doubted its power!”
5. I accidentally dropped a tub of butter on my foot and broke two toes. When I finally limped to the ER, the doctor said, “You really buttered that one up good! Those toes are toast!” Then he chuckled at his own joke while wrapping my poor throbbing foot. I didn’t find it very funny. Just goes to show that comedy and tragedy often go hand in hand, or in my case, butter and broken toes.
6. Why did the butter get in trouble at school? Because it was caught spreading rumors!
7. My grandma loves to bake, so she always keeps plenty of butter in the house. One time when I was visiting, we made several batches of cookies together and went through a whole pack of butter! Grandma said, “Wow we really buttered up on the baking today!” Then we laughed and laughed while enjoying our fresh, buttery cookies. It was a pretty sweet day.
8. How do you make a butterfly drink? You mix it with butter-fly juice!
9. Did you hear about the new low-cal butter? It’s called “I Can’t Believe This is Butter Light!”
10. Where does bad butter go? To the sour cream-atorium!
11. How do you know if a butterfly likes butter? It will flutter-by for more!
12. Why don’t butterflies come to school reunions? Because their classmates have all bread by now!
13. My friend got tired of people asking to borrow butter, so he started hiding it. When I asked for some butter he said, “butter luck next time!”
14. Did you hear about the butter who was feeling lonely? It went to the nightclub because it heard there was a roll going on!
15. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelbutter!
16. How does a butterfly get out of the rain? Wait for the butterfly to pass.
17. Want to hear a joke about butter? Ah, nevermind. I don’t want to spread it around.
18. My friend and I were eating lobster rolls with extra butter. He said, “This is so unhealthy, all this butter is going to go straight to my thighs!” I told him not to worry – everything was going to be butterthighs okay.
19. Why did the butter get in trouble with the milk? It was caught cookie-dipping!
20. I asked my friend, “How do you organize a space party?” He said, “You planet!” Get it? Planet, like butter! Ok maybe it wasn’t that funny.
21. What do you call a butterfly who moved to America? A flutter-by immigrant!
22. Why did the butter go to see a comedy show? It wanted to crack itself up!
23. How does a butterfly freshen its breath? It uses butter-mint!
24. Why couldn’t the butter knife cut the bread? It kept slipping up!
25. What do you call a butterfly that got caught up in a blizzard? A flutter-by-nado!
26. How do butterflies stay connected? With a social flutter-work!
27. Why are butterflies so optimistic? Because they always look on the bright flutter-side!
28. What kind of shoes do butterflies wear? Flutterflies!
29. Why do butterflies stay up so late? They’re night flutterers!
30. What’s a butterfly’s favorite kind of soda? Root flutter!
31. Did you hear about the butter’s acting audition? It was a little nervous but still managed to spread its wings and land the role!
32. Why did the grilled cheese sandwich start telling jokes? To butter up the audience!
33. How does a sick butterfly get better? With lots of butter-st!
34. Why did the butterfly bring an extra pair of socks to the gym? In case it got a flutter-cramp!
35. Why was the baby butterfly confused? Because it was just a new flutter!
36. What’s a butterfly’s favorite outdoor activity? Going on flutter-hikes!
37. Why was the butterfly late for school? It forgot to set its flutter-alarm!
38. What do you call a sleeping butterfly? A flutter-bye!
39. Why do butterflies stay quiet in libraries? They don’t want to cause a flutter!
40. What do you call a butterfly who just ate dinner? A flutter-full!
41. How does a butterfly party? It flutters by the dance floor!
42. What’s a butterfly’s favorite snack? Flutter-corn!
43. Why was the butterfly bouncing up and down? It was doing flutter-obics!
44. What do you call a butterfly test? A flutter-exam!
45. Why did the butterfly cross the road? To get to the other flutter-side!
46. How do butterflies keep their rooms clean? They use a flutter-vac!
47. Why was the butterfly’s printer out of ink? It was because of a flutter-jam!
48. How does a butterfly style its hair? With a flutter-brush!
49. What kind of computer does a butterfly use? A flutter-book!
50. Why did the butterfly bring an umbrella? In case of a flutter-shower!
51. What’s a butterfly’s favorite movie? The Flutter-shank Redemption!
52. Why was the butterfly elected mayor? It won by a land-flutter!
53. What did the butterfly say when it saw the flowers? Wow, what a beautiful flutter-garden!
