Burrito Puns (15)
1. I was feeling empty inside until I had a burrito for lunch. Now I’m stuffed!
2. My friend got hit in the head with a frozen burrito. He said it was a chill-i reception.
3. I entered my dog in a burrito eating contest. Unfortunately, he didn’t make the cut.
4. I spilled some beans inside my burrito. I guess you could say there was a lot of gas in the chamber.
5. I only eat burrito filler, never the tortilla. I’m an ingredient purist.
6. If you unwrap a burrito in space, does it become an unidentified floating object?
7. My girlfriend said if I buy her one more burrito, she’ll explode. So I got her a burrito bowl instead.
8. Be careful when eating burritos in the car. The results could be explosive.
9. I was feeling depressed until I wrapped myself in a tortilla blanket. Now I feel like a happy burrito!
10. Why can’t you trust atoms inside a burrito? Because they make up everything.
11. The bandito robbed the bank and escaped on a burrito. Police are combing the area.
12. I entered my tortoise in a burrito eating contest. Slow and steady wins the race!
13. My favorite burrito filing is air. Less calories that way.
14. Be careful when heating up frozen burritos. They tend to have a short fuse.
15. I’d tell you a joke about tortillas, but it’s too corny.
Burrito One-Liners (15)
16. I asked for a small burrito but got a big one. It was a miswrap.
17. Never ask a burrito for directions, it’ll just lead you in tortillas.
18. My burrito was so hot, I had to call the fire tortilla.
19. Burritos should come with a warning label: May cause gas.
20. Be careful when eating messy burritos – it could lead to a salsa slide.
21. That’s no burrito – it’s a space station!
22. I tried to grab the burrito on the top shelf but missed tortilla.
23. My burrito is so big, it has its own gravitational tortilla.
24. Queso this burrito doesn’t have enough cheese?
25. Trust me, this burrito is a real knockout.
26. This burrito is so good it should be ill-legal.
27. Breaking news: burrito causes landmark gas leak.
28. That burrito bowl looks more like a tortilla pool to me.
29. I ate my burrito too fast and almost choked on my own spice.
30. Rest in peas, fallen burrito – you will not be forguacamole.
Best Burrito Jokes (25)
31. My friend went on a date with a girl at a Mexican restaurant. He asked her if she would share an appetizer burrito with him. She said, “No way, José!”
32. What did the burrito say when it got punched? “Ouch, my filling!”
33. Why was the burrito depressed? It had a lot on its plate.
34. Why did the burrito win the race? It was very fast food.
35. Yo momma’s so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.
36. How does NASA organize a burrito party in space? They planet.
37. Why can’t you take burritos to the beach? Because they’ll get sand in them.
38. Why did the burrito cross the road? To get to the other side.
39. What do you call a burrito that crosses the US border? An illegal alien.
40. Why was the burrito having trouble getting a date? It had too many red flags.
41. Why did the burrito blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
42. How do astronauts cook burritos in space? They open the shuttle bay doors and wait for the atmosphere to burrito.
43. The only thing better than a good burrito is a good friendrito.
44. Why couldn’t the burrito afford guacamole? It was broke.
45. Why did the burrito get arrested? It had too many wrappers.
46. What’s a burrito’s favorite pastime? Getting wrapped.
47. Don’t wear skinny jeans if you eat burritos. They’ll turn into tight-os.
48. Just found out that burritos are going extinct. It’s a hard wrap to swallow.
49. I got hit in the face with a burrito today. I’ve decided to press charges.
50. My burrito is like my significant other – warm, comforting, and makes me gassy.
51. I wish I was as skinny as the burritos I eat. Those things don’t have an ounce of fat on them!
52. Why are burritos so wise? They’re full of ancient grains.
53. My burrito is cold. Someone call the cops, this is a clear case of salsa abuse!
54. Where do you take a sick burrito? To the guacdoc.
55. Why can’t orphans eat burritos? They don’t know what a parent feels like.