What do you call a lightbulb that just came back from vacation? A tanned watt.
Why was the LED bulb feeling depressed? It needed more lighteners in its life.
Why do bulbs make good detectives? They know how to get to the bottom of things.
How did the incandescent bulb try to revive its comedy career? It made a bright comeback.
Did you hear about the bulb that was feeling lonely? It just needed someone it could light up around.
Why was the CFL bulb feeling anxious? It had a lot of issues to address.
Why do LED bulbs make good therapists? They know how to help others shine.
What do you call an LED bulb that meditates? An enlightened diode.
How does a halogen bulb relax after work? It unwinds its filament.
What do you call a bulb that loves traveling? A wanderlamp.
I told my bulb joke in a very bright voice. The response was dim.
What do you call a jumpy light bulb? A nervous wrecker.
Bulb One-Liners (14)
My lightbulb friend recently got engaged – I guess it was delighted!
I bought my bulb friend a drink, but sadly it wasn’t very bright.
I was going to tell my LED friend a joke to cheer it up, but I didn’t think it would get it.
My bulb friend has been feeling down lately. I told it to lighten up!
My halogen buddy has been working too hard. I told it not to burn itself out!
I told my incandescent friend it was too dim – it didn’t take that very brightly.
My CFL pal has been shining very brightly lately – it must have a new lease on light!
My lamp friend recently got a great new job opportunity – guess things are looking bright!
My lightbulb buddy broke up with its partner recently – it’s going to take awhile for it to light up again.
I wanted to tell my bulb friend how nice it looked today, but it didn’t seem very illuminated by the compliment.
My LED pal has been feeling exhausted from working multiple jobs. I told it not to burn the candle at both ends!
I wanted to surprise my lamp friend for its birthday, but it saw right through my gift idea.
My lightbulb buddy seems depressed. I’m trying to lift its spirits and get its spark back!
I tried to give my CFL friend a pep talk when it was feeling dim, but it just gave me a blank stare.
Best Bulb Jokes (27)
My friend had an old, dim lightbulb that he refused to replace. I told him, “You really need to get a brighter bulb!” He shrugged and said, “Eh, I’m not too worried about it. This one has always lit my way just fine.” I replied, “Yeah, but isn’t it super dull and barely giving off any light?” He chuckled, “Maybe so, but you know what they say – if it ain’t broke, no need to fix it or replace it!” I joked back, “Well in this case, I’d say it’s definitely broke!” We both laughed at his stubbornness over what was clearly a dead bulb.
I once knew a guy who collected lightbulbs. He had incandescents, fluorescents, halogens, LEDs – you name it. He kept them all shelved in his basement and would lovingly care for each one. Whenever one burned out, he’d mourn it like losing a pet. People thought he was crazy but I understood his affinity for bulbs. There’s just something magical about that glowing filament – so much light and warmth created from such a small vessel. Still, I did gently suggest to him that he might want to branch out in his collecting and maybe add some lamp shades or sconces. He just sniffed indignantly and said, “I don’t have time for those frivolities.” I had to laugh. Frivolities!
Why do lightbulbs always have to stick together? Because if they don’t, it might get pretty dark!
What do you call a psychic lightbulb? A bright seer!
Have you heard about the new streaming service just for lightbulbs? It’s called Netflicks!
Did you know lightbulbs have their own rideshare app? It’s called Uber-lumens.
My lightbulb friend has been feeling really exhausted and overworked lately. I keep telling it to take a break and recharge its batteries, but it insists that it doesn’t have time and has to keep burning that midnight oil. I’m worried it’s going to really burn itself out if it keeps pushing itself like this with no rest. The other day I came by and it was so dim and flickering I could barely see! I gave it one of my emergency spare bulbs to help perk it up a little, but it really needs to figure out how to establish some better work-lamp balance in its life!
My friend had this old rickety lamp that he refused to replace. One day I came over and noticed it was gone. I said “Hey, where’s that old lamp I always made fun of?” He chuckled and said, “Yeah, last week the bulb finally gave out, the whole thing crashed to the floor, and shattered everywhere. My wife was like I told you to replace that decrepit thing five years ago!” We both got a good laugh at his stubbornness over what was clearly a hazardous lamp way past its prime.
Why couldn’t the lightbulb change the channel on the TV? The remote was dim!
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes three forms, five supervision meetings, and two weeks to do it!
Did you hear about the light bulb who was a real prankster? People said he was always DELIGHTED!
What do Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Edison have in common? They both invented the lightbulb – Bell discovered the bright idea while Edison invented the physical bulb itself!
Why was the LED bulb so noisy and disruptive in class? Because it was a diode!
I entered my halogen bulb into an ugliest pet competition. It was the brightest entry there!
When does a joke become a lightbulb joke? When it’s apparent!
Did you know that lightbulbs have their own beauty pageants? The winner is always Miss Illuminated!
What kind of shoes do lightbulbs wear? Bright sneakers!
How do lightbulbs communicate? Through their filaments!
My friend kept bragging about this special new eco-friendly CFL bulb he bought. But after seeing how dull and ghostly it makes his living room look, all I can say is…I’m not DELIGHTED!
What do Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Edison have in common? They both invented the lightbulb – Bell had the bright idea while Edison took credit for the finished product!
Did you hear about the lightbulb who married an appliance? The ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was brilliant!
How do you organize a space party for lightbulbs? You planet!
Which birds are lightbulbs most afraid of? Owls…because they eat bright prey!
My lightbulb friend has been feeling really burnt out from online dating lately. It’s gone on so many dates but just can’t seem to find a suitable socket!
Did you know that lightbulbs like to dance when humans aren’t looking? Yep, when we turn off the lights those bulbs really know how to light up the night!
Why are lightbulbs always ready for Halloween? Because they always have their bright costumes ready!
What do you call a psychic midget lightbulb? A small medium at large!
My halogen buddy was feeling pretty dim so I took it out to lunch to try cheering it up. While out, we bumped into an old acquaintance of mine who excitedly asked, “Is this your new flame?” My halogen friend just lit up after that!
