Bud Light Puns
1. I only drink Bud Light because it’s the pun-liest beer around.
2. What do you call a Bud Light that’s been left in the sun too long? A bud blight!
3. Why don’t ants ever get drunk off Bud Light? Because they can handle their bud lite.
4. I tried to impress a girl by chugging a Bud Light, but it ended up being a bud blunder.
5. I was going to tell a joke about Bud Light, but I decided it was a little too bud crude.
6. Did you hear about the new Bud Light perfume? It has a very floral, hoppy bud scent.
7. I only drink craft beer now, you could say I’ve bud graduated from Bud Light.
8. I spilled Bud Light all over my keyboard and now some of the keys are a little bud sticky.
9. Be careful not to drink too much Bud Light, you don’t want to end up bud wasted.
10. I tried to impress my date by opening a Bud Light with my teeth, but I ended up chipping a bud tooth.
11. I’m so addicted to Bud Light I think about it from the moment I bud wake up.
12. Make sure you recycle all your Bud Light cans, we don’t want them littering the bud streets.
Bud Light One-Liners
13. I spill more Bud Light on myself than I actually drink.
14. Friends don’t let friends drink warm Bud Light.
15. I drink Bud Light because it helps me make bad decisions faster.
16. I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Just kidding, pass me a Bud Light.
17. Bud Light – turning cousins into soulmates since 1982.
18. I pretend to like craft beer but I’d really prefer a Bud Light.
19. I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy…or a Bud Light, whatever’s on sale.
20. My doctor told me I need to stop drinking so much Bud Light. I said “Doctor, I only drink on days that end in ‘y’.”
21. I don’t think I have a drinking problem, but my sponsor at Bud Light Alcoholics Anonymous would disagree.
22. Help me support my Bud Light habit so I can get drunk, pass out and pee the bed all over again just like last night.
23. Every time I sip a Bud Light a fairy gets her wings. That fairy is me. I’m the trashy fairy.
24. I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a Bud Light enthusiast.
Best Bud Light Jokes
25. A man walked into a bar and ordered a Bud Light. The bartender gave him an apple. Confused, the man asked, “Hey, why did you give me an apple instead of my beer?” The bartender replied, “See that guy over there? He’s had Bud Light-itis for 20 years. It’s about time you started getting healthier too.”
26. My friend bet me $20 I couldn’t go a week without drinking a Bud Light. I made it 3 hours. Easiest money I’ve ever made.
27. I accidentally brought a 6-pack of Bud Light to book club instead of my book. To be fair, the ingredients list on the back of a Bud Light can has more complexity and nuance than most books I’ve read lately.
28. My doctor told me I needed to give up Bud Light if I want to make it to 90. I told him I’m not interested in living to 90 if I have to do it sober.
29. I joined a Bud Light brewery tour once. But I learned that if you’ve seen one giant vat brewing beer, you’ve seen ’em all.
30. Did you hear about the new self-help book for Bud Light addicts? It’s called “The First Step is Admitting You Have a Bud Light Problem.”
31. What do you get when you cross a Bud Light with an internet troll? A beer-bully.
32. How do you know your date is going poorly? When she politely asks the waiter for a craft beer instead of a Bud Light.
33. I love camping but I hate that I have to drink my Bud Light warm. Nothing worse than a lukewarm brew and no way to chill it.
34. Why does it take so long for Christmas lights to replace Bud Light lights on houses after the holidays? You’d think they would Bud Lightswitch them out faster.
35. I was feeling fancy last night so I put my Bud Light in a wine glass instead of drinking it from the can. My wife told me I can’t just call it “Bud Light wine” but I disagree.
36. Whenever I drop a full, unopened Bud Light, a little part of my soul dies as it explodes all over the floor.
37. You know you’re getting old when you’d rather have a nap than crack open a cold Bud Light.
38. I was feeling motivated so I cracked open a Bud Light first thing this morning. My boss didn’t think “it’s 5 o’clock somewhere” was a valid excuse to drink at work.
39. I’m so excited for this weekend’s party, I’ve been carboloading on Bud Light all week in preparation.
40. You can take away my house, my car and my money, but don’t ever come between me and my Bud Light.
41. I went camping and brought a 30-pack of Bud Light but no food. My friend asked if I’d rather starve than go without beer. I told him not to be ridiculous, of course I’d rather starve.
42. I tried to sue the Bud Light company for false advertising. Turns out drinking Bud Light does NOT actually make you more attractive to hot girls.
43. I told my girlfriend that I was going sober for a month and she laughed saying it would last a week at most. I made it 4 days before I cracked open an ice cold Bud Light.
44. Don’t try to talk to me in the morning until I’ve had my first Bud Light. I can’t understand human speech before then.
45. I’m so addicted to Bud Light that I thought my phone was vibrating, but it turned out to just be my hand shaking because I needed another drink.
46. Do you want to hear a dirty joke about Bud Light? Ah, nevermind. I shouldn’t make crude Bud Lights of it.
47. I went to my first Bud Light Alcoholics Anonymous meeting last week. Turns out it’s not actually anonymous, because I saw my cousin Bill there.
48. Whenever I go to a nice restaurant, I feel out of place asking the waiter for a Bud Light instead of some fancy wine.
49. I was relieved when the doctor told me I don’t actually have an official drinking problem. I just really like Bud Light.
50. Don’t bother asking me to help you move this weekend. I’ll be too hungover from partying and drinking Bud Light all night on Friday.
51. You know you have a problem when you drunkenly order a Bud Light tattoo on ebay and have to figure out how to explain it to your mom.
52. I’m swearing off Bud Light for good this time. Well, at least until St. Patrick’s Day when all bets are off.
53. The first step is admitting you have a problem. My name is Dave, and I’m addicted to drinking copious amounts of Bud Light.
54. Make sure you have a glass of water between each Bud Light so you don’t get dehydrated and ruin the whole next day with a wicked hangover.
55. I’m getting so old, nowadays after more than 2 Bud Lights I end up falling asleep instead of partying all night like in my glory days.
56. You know your college party is lame when the only options are warm Bud Light or lukewarm Keystone Light.
57. I told my boss I needed to leave work early for a dentist appointment, but he knew I was lying because I left with a 30-rack of Bud Light under each arm.
58. Don’t ever try to make me choose between my girlfriend and Bud Light. She knows who’d win that showdown.
59. I figured it was about time I got my life together and joined a gym. But they told me I’d have to give up my Bud Light gut if I wanted to see results.
60. I tried to defend my weekend Bud Light binges by telling my wife it’s just “beers and babes” with the guys, but unfortunately she wasn’t as amused as I was.
