Brunch Puns
1. I made French toast for brunch, but it came out all wrong. I guess I shouldn’t have used imitation sirop d’érable.
2. I was feeling eggs-hausted this morning so I decided to make brunch plans with friends. They were totally eggs-cited!
3. My friend kept insisting that brunch was better than breakfast. I told him not to put all his eggs in one brunch.
4. I entered a competition for the best brunch puns. I was hoping to win first prizey, but sadly I didn’t even place in the top quiche.
5. I spilled coffee all over my white shirt before meeting my friends for brunch. Talk about a mocha disaster!
6. I made waffles for brunch but burnt them to a crisp. I guess you could say things got a little toasty.
7. I tried a new brunch place that offered unlimited mimosas. Let’s just say things got a little fizzy afterwards.
8. Brunch is my jam. Well, technically it’s eggs benedict and smoked salmon but you get the gist.
9. I was rushing to get to brunch on time when I got stuck behind a slow walker. The struggle was brunch real.
10. My friends and I love doing elaborate brunch spreads. You could say we like to pan-cake it up.
Brunch One-Liners
11. Brunch is just breakfast with mimosas.
12. Sleeping through brunch should be illegal.
13. Brunch goes from eggs to kegs real quick.
14. Brunch is life. The rest is just details.
15. Brunch = No cooking + All eating
16. Brunch: Because adulting is hard enough without an empty stomach
17. Brunch – Keep calm and avocado on
18. Brunch o’ clock is the best time of day
19. Brunch is just an excuse to drink before noon.
20. Brunch – Where happiness tastes like pancakes
Best Brunch Jokes
21. I was having brunch with a group of friends when the waiter came over and asked if we wanted any toast. My friend Mark said, “No thanks, I can’t eat toast. I’m gluten-intolerant.” The waiter nodded and said, “I completely understand. How about you folks, can I get you any toast?” We all declined since Mark couldn’t have any.
A few minutes later, the waiter came back and set a plate down in front of Mark. On it was a single piece of gluten-free toast. We all laughed while Mark just shook his head and smiled. “Well played waiter, well played.”
22. My friends and I went out for a hungover brunch after a crazy night out. We were waiting for our food when my friend Sarah suddenly jumped up and shouted, “OMG, I forgot to feed the meter!” She rushed out to put more money in.
When she came back, we asked if she got to the meter in time. “No…I was too late,” she sighed. Right on cue, the waiter walked up with a plate of pancakes and said, “Your expired meter pancakes, miss.” We couldn’t stop laughing even as Sarah buried her face in her hands out of embarrassment.
23. I was out to brunch with some friends when I accidentally knocked over my mimosa, spilling it all over. The waiter immediately came over with some napkins and another mimosa as he cleaned up the mess. “I’m so sorry about that,” I said, feeling awful.
“No problem at all!” he replied cheerfully. Looking me dead in the eye, he added, “The orange spill follows the screwdriver.”
It took me a second to get the joke, but once I did, I completely lost it. That waiter deserved a huge tip just for his stellar sense of humor!
24. My husband and I were having brunch at a nice restaurant. When the waiter came to take our order, I asked for an omelette with spinach, goat cheese, and tomatoes.
“I’m so sorry, we’re actually out of goat cheese today,” he apologized.
Without missing a beat, my husband piped up and said, “That’s too baaaaad!”
The waiter burst out laughing while I just covered my face, so embarrassed yet highly amused by the spontaneous food pun.
25. I was meeting a friend for brunch and he was running very late. When he finally showed up, I said, “Well it’s about time! I’ve been waiting for you forever, I’m starving!”
My friend replied, “Sorry for the wait, I was un-avo-idable.”
It took me a second to get it, but when I realized he was making an avocado pun, I couldn’t help but groan and laugh. His late excuse was just so cheesy yet clever at the same time!
26. I was waiting to meet up with some friends for Sunday brunch. While scanning the menu, I saw a dish called “Green Eggs and Ham” which was just scrambled eggs with spinach and ham. Thinking I was being clever, I said to the waiter, “I’ll have the Green Eggs and Ham…but hold the ham!”
The waiter didn’t even bat an eye before responding, “So…you mean you want the Green Eggs?”
I was left momentarily speechless but burst out laughing. Touche waiter, touche.
27. My partner and I were having brunch at a cafe when he asked our waiter for hot sauce recommendations. The waiter replied, “Well our most popular one is called ‘Inferno’ but I suggest you start with ‘Mild Discomfort’ and work your way up.”
I nearly spit out my coffee from laughing so hard. That waiter deserved the big tip he got from us for his hilarious sauce-naming skills!
28. I was out at brunch when my vegetarian friend tried to discretely order the veggie omelette without letting the rest of our meat-loving group know. When the waiter came to take our order, he loudly announced, “One veggie omelette for the rabbit at table 7!” We teased my friend non-stop about her new nickname for the rest of brunch.
29. My friends and I went out for a big, boozy brunch after a night out. We were chatting loudly and having a great time when the manager came over and asked us to please keep it down. After he walked away, our waiter leaned in and whispered, “Ignore him – champagne problems, am I right?” He rightly earned himself a huge tip!
30. I was out at brunch when I asked my husband to please pass the hot sauce. He pretended not to hear me so I said again, “Babe, can you pass me the hot sauce?” My husband grabbed the pepper grinder instead and said, “You’re so spicy, you don’t need more spice!” I just rolled my eyes while our friends laughed hysterically at his corny food-related joke flirting.
31. My vegan friend came to brunch with us and ordered fruit salad because there were not many dairy-free options on the menu. When her sad bowl of fruit came out, the waiter placed it in front of her and said solemnly, “We present this fruit salad to you on behalf of all the non-animal products you stand for.” We could barely contain our laughter as my friend turned bright red!
32. I was at brunch with my girlfriend and she excused herself to go to the restroom. While she was gone, I asked our waiter if he could bring her a glass of orange juice and tell her it was from a secret admirer at another table. When she came back, the waiter presented her with the OJ and said dramatically, “A gentleman at table 12 has sent this beverage as a token of his affections!” She was so confused while I just cracked up laughing. Gotcha!
33. My husband hates pepper on his eggs so whenever we go out to brunch, he asks the waiter very specifically for no pepper on his food. This time, the waiter came back with his plate of eggs and said solemnly while gesturing to the eggs, “We present to you this plate of eggs untouched by pepper!” My husband shook his head while chuckling at the waiter’s over-the-top accommodation of his request.
34. I was at brunch with some friends and we had ordered several carafes of mimosas for the table. One friend in particular was really hitting the bubbly hard. When she polished off her third glass, the waiter walked by and said, “Pace yourself ma’am, we don’t need any mimosa downers here!” My intoxicated friend nearly spit out her drink laughing while the rest of us applauded the waiter’s hilarious comment.
35. I was at a popular brunch place waiting to be seated when I heard the hostess tell a couple “Congratulations! We can accommodate a party of 2 today.” When the confused couple just stared at her, she added with a deadpan expression “Our availability changes daily.” Her sarcastic seating comment had me chuckling to myself as I waited.
36. My vegan friend was visiting from out of town so I took her to my favorite brunch place. While perusing the menu, she asked the waiter if the pancakes could be made dairy-free. In a very serious tone, he responded “I’m afraid substituting the buttermilk would negatively impact the structural integrity of said pancakes.” I could barely contain my laughter at his ridiculously technical response!
37. My wife hates when her food is touching on the plate. At brunch, she asked the waiter to make sure her eggs and potatoes were separated. He came back with her plate and narrated solemnly, “Behold – we have erected a potato barrier to protect the eggs from unwanted contact.” My wife shook her head at his dramatic presentation but couldn’t help cracking a smile.