Black Friday Puns
1. I heard Black Friday is getting rebranded to Red Eye Friday this year since everyone will be up all night shopping!
2. The day after Thanksgiving should be called “Buyer’s Remorse Day.”
3. I asked my friend if she was ready for Black Friday shopping and she said, “I’m just trying to get through Bleak Friday first!”
4. Why do people call it Black Friday? Because when they see the receipt, everything goes black.
5. I heard there’s a new sale happening the day after Black Friday called “Actually Need It Saturday.”
6. My sister takes Black Friday very seriously. She’s been training all year for the Black Friday obstacle course.
7. Why was the Black Friday shopper exhausted? Because they were running around all day from store to store.
8. I’m skipping Black Friday this year and doing my shopping on Saturday. That way I can avoid the crowds and stick to my budget. It’s called Grey Saturday!
9. What do you call someone who camps outside a store before Black Friday? A tent-thusiast!
10. Why do Black Friday shoppers get up so early? To be first in line for Buyer’s Regret Day.
11. I’m calling in sick on Black Friday this year. I came down with a case of “spend-it-is.”
12. What do you call a Black Friday sale at the zoo? Cheetah prices!
Black Friday One-Liners
13. I survived Black Friday…barely!
14. This year I’m doing my Black Friday shopping online so I don’t get trampled.
15. Black Friday: because only in America people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.
16. I’m opting out of Black Friday and doing Cyber Monday instead, so I can retain my sanity.
17. The best Black Friday deal I got this year was not going shopping at all.
18. Me on Black Friday: “Wow, what a great price…on something I will never actually use!”
19. Black Friday shoppers be like: “I’m going to stand in line for 8 hours to save $20!”
20. Roses are red, violets are blue, it’s Black Friday tomorrow, my bank account is doomed.
21. Black Friday: because who needs sleep when you can buy more stuff!
22. I’m skipping the Black Friday madness this year. My couch, pajamas and leftover pie have better deals.
Best Black Friday Jokes
23. On Thanksgiving, my wife asked me what I was thankful for. I said “We have 4 days to return all this stuff.”
24. I told my wife if she wakes me up early on Black Friday for shopping, I’m getting divorced papers. She said “But think of the savings!”
25. My wife takes Black Friday very seriously. She actually has a battle plan called “Operation Grab and Go.” I just hope I survive the mission.
26. I was in line at Best Buy on Black Friday when suddenly people rushed the doors and started stampeding into the store. Thankfully no one was injured, just mildly trampled, like a grazing trample. Still, I didn’t get the $200 TV.
27. This year I’m avoiding the Black Friday crowds by doing all my shopping online. The only downside is not getting to see people fighting over parking spaces and throwing elbows for the last doorbuster deal.
28. I think every Black Friday shopper needs to watch game footage and wear protective equipment. Elbow pads, helmet with face shield, the works. May the odds be ever in your favor!
29. My friend camps out every Black Friday to get the best deals. Last year, she pitched a tent at Target and insisted I call her “Camper Susan.” She takes it so seriously she roasts marshmallows in the electronics section.
30. On Black Friday, I accidentally punched a stranger reaching for the same sale item. Now he’s my sworn enemy. Every year we see who can get the best deals while sabotaging each other. Last year he slashed my tent!
31. This year I’m dressing up like an undercover Black Friday cop to cut lines. I’ll just keep waving my fake badge and yelling “Official police business, stand aside!” Then grab the last PlayStation 5.
32. Why do Black Friday shoppers get up at 4am? To wait in line for that one crazy deal no sane person really needs. By the time I get there at noon, they’ll all be gone!
33. I’m skipping the Black Friday madness and just telling my family I got them great deals. That big box is just full of socks and I saved 100%.
34. This Black Friday, I’m hiring a bunch of line standers on TaskRabbit to get all the doorbusters for me. Then I’ll sell everything on eBay for a huge profit. Capitalism, baby!
35. My strategy for Black Friday this year? Hide all the car keys so my wife can’t drag me to any 5am openings. If I board up the windows, she can’t see the sales flyers either. Problem solved!
36. Why is the line at Best Buy so long on Black Friday? Because 100 people are waiting to buy 3 TVs.
37. I woke up extra early on Black Friday, snuck out of bed and was first in line at Target. I felt so accomplished! Then realized it was Tuesday. My family had some questions.
38. This year on Black Friday, I’m only shopping for things I actually need, setting a realistic budget and avoiding crowded stores. Just kidding! I’ll see you at 5am outside Walmart!
39. On Black Friday, I got caught sneaking into Target behind a family with little kids. Hey, all’s fair when you’re trying to get 50% off a blender!
40. This Black Friday, I’m going undercover as an elderly grandma in a motorized scooter. People will feel too guilty to steal my parking spot or cut in line. Victory will be mine!
41. I avoid Black Friday crowds and instead shop online. Sure, I don’t get to experience the thrill of fighting strangers for a $5 waffle iron. But at least I have all my limbs intact.
42. Roses are red, savings galore, it’s Black Friday tomorrow, so lock your front door!
43. I just saw my first Black Friday ad and now I’m making a battle plan. Blueprints, reconnaissance, fake IDs to get extra doorbuster coupons. I call it Operation Save 50%!
44. This year on Black Friday, I’m dressing up like a store employee so I can sneak into the backroom and get the real doorbusters before anyone else. I’ll just whisper “inventory” if anyone asks.
45. Why do people call it Black Friday? Because your spouse sees the credit card bill and everything goes black.
46. This Black Friday, I’m sending my kids to wait in all the lines while I relax at home with coffee. That’s what you call smart parenting right there. Those little speed demons will get all the best deals!
47. I thought I scored a great Black Friday deal on a big screen TV. But when I opened the box at home, it was just a mirror inside. Well played, electronics store. Well played.
48. This year for Black Friday, I’m going undercover as an elderly grandma in a motorized scooter. People will feel too guilty to steal my parking spot or cut in line. Victory will be mine!
49. Why do people call it Black Friday? Because they mourn the death of their bank accounts after all that shopping. RIP my savings!
50. This Black Friday, I’m sending my kids to wait in all the lines while I relax at home with coffee. That’s what you call smart parenting right there. Those little speed demons will get all the best deals!