Biscuit Puns
1. I kneaded some dough to bake my biscuits, but when they came out of the oven they were pretty crumby.
2. My friend said she was going to make some biscuits from scratch. I told her that sounds like a lot of work just for some itchy skin.
3. Why don’t pirates eat biscuits? They prefer to keep their booty.
4. I asked the waiter if the biscuits on the menu were homemade. He said, “Of coarse!”
5. I was feeling down so I decided to treat myself to some biscuits and gravy. Let’s just say, my mood did a 180.
6. Biscuits always feel out of place at fancy dinner parties. They just don’t have enough dough to fit in.
7. I dream of opening my own biscuit shop. I plan to call it “Rise and Butter.”
8. My friend baked some biscuits but forgot the baking powder. When she took them out, they were flat as pancakes. You could say she made flapjacks.
9. Did you hear about the cowboy who got fired from the biscuit factory? He kept forgetting to put the hole in the middle.
10. I tried making biscuits in an Easy Bake Oven when I was a kid. You could say they were half-baked.
11. Biscuits and country music go together like peas and carrots. You can’t have one without the other.
12. The biscuits cried for butter to come save them from their dry, crumbly fate.
13. My grandma’s biscuits were so hard you could break a tooth. We used to call them “rock cakes.”
14. Baking biscuits seems easy but there’s a lot of precision involved. You could say it’s an exact science.
15. I’m no baker but I knead the dough when it comes to making good biscuits.
Biscuit One-Liners
16. Biscuits and tea go together like birds of a feather.
17. These biscuits are so good they’re criminal.
18. My biscuits bring all the boys to the yard.
19. Crumbs! I dropped my biscuit.
20. Butter me up, these biscuits need a friend.
21. Biscuit in the streets, scone in the sheets.
22. Once you pop, you can’t stop with these tasty biscuits.
23. Hole-y biscuits, Batman! These are good.
24. You butter believe these biscuits are top notch.
25. Biscuits – poppin’ fresh for that soft, fluffy goodness.
26. These biscuits are the bee’s knees, I tell you.
27. We make biscuits from scratch. What, like it’s hard?
28. Our biscuits will have you flippin’ your lid.
29. These biscuits take the cake. And eat it too.
30. I like big biscuits and I cannot lie.
Best Biscuit Jokes
31. A man walked into a bakery and asked the owner if he sold whole wheat biscuits. The owner said, “Sure, buddy. I sell crackered wheat, split wheat, and quarreling wheat too.”
32. My friend baked a batch of biscuits but they were rock hard. I told him, “These biscuits are so tough I can’t even cut them!” He said, “Let me axe you a question – did you try using a hatchet?”
33. I was feeling sad so I asked my grandma to bake me some biscuits to cheer me up. She whipped up a fresh batch and said, “Here’s some comfort food for my honey.” I smiled and replied, “Thanks Grandma! These biscuits really do butter me up!”
34. Why don’t ghosts eat biscuits? Because they go right through them!
35. What do you call an angry biscuit? A hot cross bun!
36. Why was the biscuit late to work? It got stuck in a jam!
37. My friend baked a giant 10-foot wide biscuit. I asked him, “What are you going to do with that jumbo biscuit?” He said, “I’m using it as a throw pillow.”
38. I accidentally burnt my biscuits to a crisp. My wife shook her head and said, “Look what you’ve done to these poor things. They’re toast!”
39. I was craving biscuits and saw a sign for “Biscuits – Hot and Fresh!” I walked inside and it was just an exercise gym. False advertising if you ask me!
40. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a biscuit by its diameter? Pi.
41. Why do bakers make biscuits with shortening? To cut down on the lard!
42. Baking powder biscuits is tricky. One small mistake can leave you with a crummy outcome.