Bingo Puns
1. I was going to tell a joke about bingo, but then I realized it would just be a gamble whether people found it funny or not.
2. Why was the bingo player sweating profusely? He had a full card!
3. I tried to come up with a bingo pun, but it was a no-go. All the good ones were already taken!
4. Did you hear about the bingo player who was charged with cheating? Apparently he had more than one B-I-N-G-O.
5. I wanted to make a bingo pun, but all the good ones were taken. I guess I just have to accept de-feat.
6. What do you call someone who takes bingo way too seriously? A win-go addict!
7. Why don’t spiders play bingo? Because they’re afraid of the daubers!
8. Did you hear about the bingo player who went on a cruise? She wanted to get out on the open B-4!
9. I tried to come up with a pun about bingo, but it was just too hard. I guess I don’t have the balls for it.
10. What did the bingo card say to the dauber? “Thanks for marking me!”
Bingo One-Liners
11. I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious when it comes to bingo.
12. I’d make a bingo joke, but I’m afraid of taking too big a gamble.
13. What’s a bingo player’s favorite circus act? Baccarat!
14. Bingo? More like Bing-go find some better jokes.
15. My friend tried to scare me while I was playing bingo, but I didn’t flinch – I’ve got nerves of steel.
16. I played virtual bingo with my grandma last week. It was so much fun we were peeing our pants!
17. I was going to tell a joke about bingo, but then I realized it would just be a shot in the dark.
18. Bingo? I don’t even know her!
19. What do you call someone addicted to bingo? A daubaholic!
20. I wanted to tell a joke about bingo, but then I realized it would be too much of a gamble.
Best Bingo Jokes
21. Last night my friend got thrown out of the bingo hall. He was caught with two fives and a nine in his lap – apparently that’s unacceptable at bingo.
22. I went to play bingo last night but had to leave because two old ladies were fighting over the same seat. It got really ugly when one ripped out the other’s oxygen tube and started strangling her with it. Now that’s what I call a choke bingo!
23. Why don’t mummies ever win at bingo? Because they’re all wrapped up!
24. My grandma loves bingo so much that when she died, we had her ashes pressed into bingo chips. It’s what she would have wanted – now she can still play bingo for eternity!
25. I was playing virtual bingo with my friends last night when suddenly the screen went black. We waited 10 minutes before the host came back on and explained there had been a power outage. I yelled “Bingo!” and won the $500 jackpot. Sometimes you just get lucky!
26. I played bingo for the first time last night and sat next to a very intense woman. Every time she won, she would loudly shout “Bingo!” right in my ear. By the 10th round, I had enough. I waited for her next win, then ripped the card right from her hands and tore it up. No more bingo for her!
27. My grandpa loves playing bingo, but he’s really bad at it. Last night, he jumped up yelling “Bingo!” but had forgotten to actually buy a card. The whole room erupted in laughter as he did a walk of shame back to his seat. Poor guy – at least he’s got spirit!
28. A retirement home had to cancel bingo night indefinitely because two elderly women got into a huge brawl over a suspected cheat. Once the dust settled, Gertrude was arrested for assault with a dauber and Agnes had a broken hip. I guess someone should’ve yelled “Bingo!” before things got out of hand!
29. I went to a high stakes bingo tournament in Vegas last night. With $100,000 on the line, things were getting intense. Suddenly an old lady started choking! Luckily a nurse shouted “Bingo!” and dislodged the food from her throat. Talk about saved by the bell!
30. My grandma takes bingo very seriously. She won’t even let my grandpa talk while she’s playing because it “breaks her concentration.” Last night he whispered bingo numbers in her ear as a joke. She immediately clocked him over the head with her dauber and got ink all over his bald spot. I guess some people just don’t mess around when it comes to bingo!
31. I was playing virtual bingo with some friends last week and made the mistake of using my free space on the first round. My friend immediately accused me of cheating and trying to get a head start on a win. I tried explaining it was just a strategy, but he refused to believe me. I haven’t been invited back to bingo night since. Some people take this game way too seriously!