Bat Puns
1. I couldn’t see a thing in the cave without my flashlight. It was pitch black.
2. The baseball player swung and missed. “That’s strike one,” the umpire called. The batter responded, “No, that’s a bat one.”
3. Did you hear about the clumsy bat? He was always hanging around.
4. Why don’t vampires attack bats? Professional curtesy.
5. Two bats are hanging upside down in a cave. One asks the other, “Do you want to go get some blood to drink?” The other responds, “I’m bat-stracized!”
6. What do you call a bat that lives in the White House? The First Bat.
7. Why are vampire bats measuring things in inches? They prefer bloody metrics.
8. What do you call a bat that got straight A’s in school? An honor roll bat.
9. Why did the bat fly into a window? He didn’t sonar well.
10. What’s a bat’s favorite dessert? Fangipan.
11. Why do bats hang upside down? They like to see the world from a different perspective.
12. What do you call a bat that works as a lifeguard? A professional bath saver.
13. Why did the bat cross the road? To get to the bat cave on the other side!
14. What did one bat say to the other bat? “You hang here and I’ll go on a head.”
15. What do you call a bat that cleans up after a party? A designated dribbler.
Bat One-liners
16. I would make a bat pun right now but I don’t want to hit you over the head with it.
17. What do you call a clumsy bat? A dribbler.
18. The bat got grades so good he was valedebat-orian of his class.
19. I told my friend a joke about bats and he said it flew right over his head.
20. I was going to tell my friend a joke about bats, but I didn’t want it to go over his head.
21. What do you call a bat in a chemistry lab? A lab bat.
22. What type of bat works on cars? A mechanic bat.
23. The bat flew into a window and said, “That was plane stupid.”
24. Why does Dracula bring bats with him everywhere? For protection from bat-tering rams.
25. Vampires and bats go way bat.
Best Bat Jokes
26. A bat flies into a cave, screeches loudly, and says “Hellooooo! Testing! Testing!” Another bat yells back “Be quiet!” The first bat says “Why? Was my echo annoying?”
27. What did the mama bat say to her baby bat? It’s past your batbed time!
28. Why are bats nocturnal? Because they’re night crawlers!
29. What happens when a bat flies upside down? He has a bad day.
30. How do baseball players stay cool when it’s hot? They hang out in the bats shade.
31. Why can’t you hear a bat using the bathroom? Because they use echo-location.
32. Why did the vampire read the Wall Street Journal? He heard it had great circulation.
33. How do baseball players stay cool during games? They sit by the bats fans.
34. Why did Dracula take cold medicine? To stop his coffin.
35. How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern…
36. What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with math? Counting problems.
37. Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.
38. Why do vampires use mouthwash? They want to prevent bat breath!
39. Why did Dracula lie about being sick? He just wanted a day off to bat around.
40. How do vampires get around on Halloween night? By blood vessels.
41. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
42. Why didn’t the vampire bite Taylor Swift? Because she had bad blood.
43. How did the baseball player try to become a vampire? He tried to get bit by a bat.
44. Why do vampires need math? To help with their Counting.
45. Why does Dracula avoid talking to bats? He doesn’t want them to get a big head.
In summary…
Bats make for great joke fodder, whether it’s puns playing on “bat” and “bad”, vampire bats connections, or baseball bat athletics. With the variety of bat species in the world, there’s no shortage of humorous bat possibilities. This batty and fang-tastic listicle of 64 jokes hopes to provide lots of laughs for the comedy-loving reader!