Basket Puns
1. I entered my homemade basket into a weaving competition but it didn’t win first prizewicker.
2. Why don’t eggs fit well in a basket? They tend to eggs-scape!
3. My friend got mad when I beat him in a basket weaving contest. But hey, don’t get your twigs in a tangle!
4. I was struggling to repair my broken basket until I had a reed-evelation and fixed it.
5. Why can’t you trust stairs? They’re always up to something. Just like baskets – you can never trust them because they’re woven that way!
6. I entered my unusually shaped basket into the county fair. It was non-standard but I figured it was worth a shot in the dark.
7. Did you hear about the angry basket weaver? They were in a bind and had some crosses to weave.
8. Why was the little straw basket crying? Its mommy and daddy had gotten into a wicker fight.
9. Why don’t eggs fit well in a basket? They tend to eggs-scape!
10. I tried to sell my handmade baskets on eBay but no one made me an offer. It was an online wickering failure!
11. Did you hear about the basket that was arrested for fiber theft? It was booked for straw-lary.
Basket One-Liners
12. I entered my basket into the county fair but it didn’t win – that competition was definitely full of holes!
13. I tried to make money by teaching basket weaving but had to quit – the reeds were always asking too many queschions.
14. I tried to teach my dog to weave baskets but realized you can’t teach an old dog wicker tricks.
15. Did you hear about the restaurant that only serves meals in baskets? It has great wicker food!
16. Why was the little straw basket adopted? Because its parents were wickers!
17. Why do baskets make bad lawyers? Because they always plead wicker!
18. My family told me to stop making baskets for a living. But hey, it puts food on the wicker table!
19. I was going to tell my girlfriend a joke about baskets but decided not to – she doesn’t appreciate good humwicker.
20. Why can’t baskets be trusted? Because they’re two-faced and have holes in their stories!
21. Why was the basket weaver so skilled at yoga? Because she was an expert at basket twists!
Best Basket Jokes
22. Did you hear about the new supermarket with no shopping baskets? All the customers were left holding the bag!
I went to the store the other day but they were out of shopping baskets. The manager apologized and said it was his fault for putting all his baskets in one stock.
23. What starts with B, ends with T, and has T in the middle? A basketball team!
I tried out for the basketball team the other day despite having no talent whatsoever. I knew my lack of skill was a slam dunk rejection but figured I might as well take a shot since you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
24. Why do basketball players make excellent ghost hunters? Because they run around screens all night!
I was looking for someone to help investigate the haunted house on my street last night. When my neighbor LeBron offered, I immediately accepted – if anyone can handle bumps in the night, it’s the king of the court!
25. Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball!
Cinderella tried out for the castle basketball team hoping to have some fun with her rat and mice friends. Unfortunately her evil step-mother found out and forbid her from playing such an “unladylike” sport. I heard Cinderella is now under house arrest for the remainder of the season.
26. Why do basketball players get stuck in traffic? They can’t stop dribbling!
LeBron James caused quite the stir downtown yesterday evening. Drivers were honking up a storm when he decided to practice his dribbling skills while stuck in rush hour traffic. Let’s just say the King still needs some work on his handles off the court!
27. What do you call a black ghost? A boy in a basketball uniform!
My friend John decided to dress up as a ghost for Halloween by cutting holes in his basketball uniform and going trick or treating to scare the neighbors. Let’s just say a black ghost costume was not the best choice for remaining incognito while asking for candy!
28. Why do basketball players get stuck in traffic? They can’t stop dribbling!
I saw the funniest thing on my drive home yesterday. The point guard for our city’s basketball team was in the car next to me practicing his dribbling skills at the red light, not paying any attention to the actual road. No wonder he causes so many turnovers, his handles need some serious work!
29. Why was the basketball player so crude and offensive? He was used to shooting around threats.
The star player on my son’s youth basketball team is quite the troublemaker. I overheard him making fun of another child’s shoes the other day. When I confronted him, he said he’s used to shouting insults and shooting around threats on the court. I swiftly corrected him – that kind of foul behavior belongs in the penalty box, not on my team!
30. Why do basketball players watch the news? To see the highlights!
Steph Curry likes to end each day by turning on SportsCenter and watching clips of all the best plays from that night’s slate of NBA games. His wife finds it a tad obsessive, but Steph just can’t get enough of those buzzer beating shots, ankle breaking crossovers, and monster put-back dunks. When it comes to basketball, he absolutely lives for the highlights!
31. Why was the basketball player such a picky eater? He only ate shots and picks.
NBA rising star Zion Williamson is known for two things: his ferocious dunks and his enormous appetite. Zion’s pre-game ritual consists of taking 100 shots at the arena’s practice court while simultaneously consuming his preferred meal – 100 chicken nuggets. I guess when you’re conditioned to eat rebounds and put-backs all night long, normal food just doesn’t cut it!
32. Why was Cinderella so bad at basketball? She always ran away from the ball!
Cinderella dreams of being the first woman to play in the NBA one day. She practices day and night, even using the palace’s grand ballroom to work on dribbling drills after hours. Unfortunately, Cinderella’s ball handling skills still need some improvement. Last night the guards caught her frantically chasing after the ball as it bounced down a flight of stairs just minutes before her curfew. Better luck next time, Cinderella!
33. Why do basketball players get stuck in traffic? They can’t stop dribbling!
I was sitting in rush hour traffic yesterday when I looked over and noticed the point guard from our city’s basketball team dribbling a ball in the lane next to me. No wonder he leads the league in turnovers – someone needs to teach this guy ball control!
34. Why don’t ants go to basketball games? Because they’re afraid of the ant-eater!
My friend Adam the ant loves playing pickup basketball games with his buddies, but he never attends professional games. Rumor has it the local arena hired an anteater as part of their janitorial staff. And while I can’t confirm that, I don’t blame Adam for avoiding anywhere an anteater calls home court!
35. Why was the basketball player bragging about his dribbling skills? He liked to talk about crossovers.
The point guard on my daughter’s middle school team is quite the showboater. I overheard him telling classmates about his “nasty crossovers” that “break ankles” during games. Personally, I think he needs to spend less time trash talking and more time practicing his dribbling skills which frankly aren’t that impressive. Kids these days all want to be the next Allen Iverson!
36. Why do basketball players watch the news? For the highlights!
Steph Curry likes to wind down after games by turning on ESPN to catch up on highlights from other NBA matchups. His wife complains about his basketball obsession, but Steph simply can’t get enough of those last-second game winners, posterizing dunks, and slick no-look passes. I guess when you’re used to creating magic on the court, you live for seeing those magical moments elsewhere!
37. How do basketball players prepare for finals? By studying their playbooks!
With final exams coming up, I found my star basketball player son cramming late into the night. When I asked what subject he was studying for, he showed me play diagrams his coach had given him to memorize. Sure academics are important, but maybe priorities need reassessing when you mistake the finals in school for the ones on the court!
38. Why do ants hate playing basketball? Because of the anteaters!
My friend Adam the ant loves pickup basketball games with his buddies. But he never goes to pro games – rumor has it the local arena just hired an anteater for janitorial work. I can’t confirm that, but I don’t blame Adam for avoiding anywhere an anteater calls the home court!