Barbie Puns
1. I heard Barbie is taking a trip to the Bahamas. She’s looking forward to some fun in the sun Barbados.
2. Barbie tried to get a tan but ended up with a sunburn. I guess you could say she got Bar-becued!
3. Barbie bought a new car but got a flat tire on the way home. I guess you could say she had a Barb-low day.
4. Barbie’s birthday is coming up soon. Her friends are planning a big Bar-bash to celebrate.
5. Barbie was feeling creative so she decided to try acrylic painting. She ended up with quite a few Bar-brushes in her collection.
6. Barbie loves accessories. She has so many bags, belts, hats and scarves that her closet is a Bar-anza!
7. Barbie tried to eat a healthy salad for lunch but couldn’t resist adding extra ranch dressing and croutons. I guess her diet took a little Bar-beque detour.
8. Barbie’s hair stylist canceled her appointment last minute. She had to reschedule and was not too Bar-bappy about it.
9. Barbie’s clothes are always perfectly styled. You could say she has great Bar-boutique fashion sense.
10. Barbie bought a new pair of heels but they were really uncomfortable. It turned out to be a bad Bar-gain purchase.
Barbie One-Liners
11. Barbie’s so fake she makes plastic surgeons jealous.
12. Barbie’s so skinny, if she turned sideways and stuck out her tongue, she’d look like a zipper.
13. Barbie’s idea of a balanced diet is a cheeseburger in each hand.
14. Barbie’s middle name isactually Material.
15. Barbie has the perfect body…if you’re a pickle.
16. Barbie doesn’t need internet – she already has connections.
17. Barbie doesn’t drive with car insurance – she has auto body coverage.
18. Barbie puts the “boob” in “boob tube.”
19. Ken and Barbie have split up – apparently they didn’t see eye to eye.
20. What do you call a broke Barbie? Flat Broke.
Best Barbie Jokes
21. One day a father was walking through the mall with his young daughter. As they were passing by the Barbie section, the little girl gazed longingly at the rows of dolls and accessories. “Daddy, I really want a Barbie doll!” she begged. The father shook his head and said, “I’m sorry honey, but Barbies give little girls unrealistic ideas about women’s bodies. When you grow up, you’ll understand.” Dejected, the girl followed her father out of the store.
A few months later for Christmas, the little girl excitedly tore open a present from her grandmother to reveal a brand new Barbie doll. She turned accusing eyes to her father, who shrugged and said, “Hey relax, it’s not like Grandma knows any better!”
22. Little Susie was busy playing with her Barbie dolls when her friend Billy came over. Susie showed Billy all the cool clothes, shoes, cars and accessories that her Barbie had. Billy looked a little perplexed. “But where is Ken?” he asked.
Susie gave a mischievous grin. “Ken’s on vacation with the nanny!”
23. A psychologist was conducting a group therapy session with three young girls, all of whom owned an excessive number of Barbie dolls.
He asked the first girl, “So do any of your Barbies ever talk to you?”
“Yes,” replied the girl. “They talk to each other, argue a lot, and sometimes cry.”
He turned to the second girl and asked, “And what about your Barbies? Do they talk?”
“Oh yes,” said the girl. “My Barbies are always telling me how pretty and popular they are.”
Finally he asked the third girl, “And how about you? What are your Barbies like?”
The girl shrugged. “I dunno, I don’t actually play with them. I just like taking off their heads and leaving them in random places to freak people out.”
24. A detective arrived at the scene of a robbery to find an unclothed plastic doll lying on the floor. He scratched his head in confusion. “Well, I think we can safely rule out Barbie as a suspect,” commented the detective. “There’s no way she would have left the house without her entire wardrobe.”
25. Did you hear Mattel is coming out with a new pregnant Midge doll? It comes with morning sickness and six weeks of maternity leave.
The doll also complains a lot and makes you go to Lamaze class.
26. What do you get if you cross Barbie with an ant?
An insect that is blond, mindless, and can carry 10 times its own weight.
27. How do you drown a blond Barbie?
Take your foot off her head.
28. Doctor: I’m afraid I have some bad news about your lab results.
Patient: Oh no, what is it doctor?
Doctor: We discovered massive quantities of silicone. I’m afraid you may have Barbietoxication.
29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
30. What did Barbie say to Ken when she broke up with him? I’m sorry Ken, but you don’t doll it for me anymore.
31. How do you scare a Valley Girl?
Leave a Barbie doll on her front porch with a note: From Chucky.
32. What’s the difference between Barbie and The Titanic?
Not even Leonardo DiCaprio could stay on the Titanic.
33. What’s the difference between Barbie and Darth Vader?
Darth Vader can choke people with his mind, while Barbie can choke people with her figure.
34. Why is Barbie always smiling?
She doesn’t realize she has no reproductive organs.
35. Why did Barbie break up with Ken?
Because he came in a different box.
36. Why don’t Barbie and Ken show affection in public?
They don’t want to rub it in G.I. Joe’s face.
37. What did Barbie do when she saw the Spanish-speaking Ken doll?
She had a hispanic attack.