I tried to withdraw all my money from the bank, but they said I didn’t have sufficient funds. It was an in-credit-able situation!
I wanted to make a deposit at the sperm bank, but they told me my account was already overdrawn.
Did you hear about the robber who held up a sperm bank? He made a clean getaway.
My girlfriend asked me to pick her up from the blood bank yesterday. I asked “What type are you?”
I went to the sperm bank to make a deposit but they rejected me saying my account was inactive for too long. Talk about a withdrawal!
Working at the sperm bank has its ups and downs. The hours are great but the pay is below minimum wage.
I tried to open a joint account at the sperm bank but apparently that’s not allowed.
I wanted to borrow money from the sperm bank but they said my credit was no good there.
Don’t rob the sperm bank, you’ll only get a little bit of money.
The inventor of the sperm bank really came up with a novel concept.
Bank One-Liners
I went to the sperm bank to make a deposit but my account must have been frozen.
I tried to get a loan from the sperm bank but apparently I’ve reached my credit limit there.
Don’t stand too close to the sperm bank entrance, you might get unexpected withdrawals.
Sperm bank employees don’t get paid much but they really love their work.
Getting turned down by the sperm bank really gives new meaning to the term rejection letter.
The sperm bank had a special promotion but unfortunately I didn’t meet their deposit requirements.
Sperm bank workers aren’t well paid but they have great benefits.
Going to the sperm bank always makes for an interesting story about where you’ve been.
My doctor recommended frequent deposits at the sperm bank for my health.
Getting money from a sperm bank withdrawal is the ultimate easy come, easy go.
Best Bank Jokes
I was having money troubles so I tried to take out a loan from the sperm bank. The lady asked me “How much do you want to withdraw?” I said “$1000.” She looked at my account balance and said “I’m sorry, but you don’t have sufficient funds.”
My friend worked at a sperm bank and I asked him how it was going. He said he loved his job, but admitted that sometimes it felt like he was just jerking off. I told him it sounded like a real up and down kind of career.
I went to a sperm bank to make a deposit, but when I got there the receptionist said I had an outstanding balance and couldn’t make any more deposits until I paid it off. I told her there must be some mistake – I’ve never even been here before! She checked my file and said “I’m very sorry sir but our records clearly show that you’re a regular contributor.”
I was between jobs and decided to make some quick cash by donating sperm at a local sperm bank. On my first visit, the doctor asked me to provide a semen sample, so I went into the private room and did my thing. But when I came back and gave the sample to the doctor, he looked at me disgusted. “Sir, I asked you to provide a semen sample… not bring me a full load!” That’s when I realized this sperm bank gig might be trickier than I thought.
My buddy got fired from the sperm bank yesterday. When I asked him what happened he said that they caught him drinking on the job. He insisted that it was only a few sips, but his boss said he had violated the company’s zero tolerance policy.
I desperately needed cash so I went to donate plasma at the blood bank. The receptionist took one look at me and said, “Sorry, your account is overdrawn.” I was confused and told her I had never even been there before. She checked the records and said, “Oh I’m so sorry sir, I didn’t realize you were here for a deposit.”
Working as a receptionist at a sperm bank has its ups and downs. Sure, the job has great benefits, but it’s hard not to gag whenever a customer comes to the front desk with a “fresh sample.” And it’s super awkward when they try to make small talk while their deposit is being processed. “So, come here often?” Ugh!
I was down on my luck and decided to make some quick cash by selling my sperm. I went to the local sperm bank and told the nurse I wanted to make a deposit. She gave me a weird look and said, “Uh, you know this is a blood bank, right?” I was so embarrassed that I grabbed a bag of O-negative and ran out of there!
I was really short on cash so I signed up to donate sperm. On my first visit to the sperm bank, I was feeling pretty nervous. The doctor asked me to provide a “sample” in the room down the hall. A few minutes later, I came back and handed him a small plastic spoon with my sample on it. He just shook his head and said, “I think you may have misunderstood my instructions.”
I was desperate for money so I signed up to donate sperm. But when I got to the sperm bank and the doctor asked for a sample, I panicked and gave him a jar of mayonnaise instead. He looked at it and said, “I’m afraid your sperm count appears to be dangerously low, sir.”
The sperm bank was all out of stock so the doctor told me I’d have to come back later. “Come again?” I asked. “No, just come back tomorrow,” he replied.
I recently switched sperm banks after having a bad experience with my previous one. When I went to withdraw some money from my old account, they said I didn’t have any because of excessive penalties and service fees. I told them that was ridiculous and asked how I could possibly owe them anything when all I did was make deposits! The lady just shrugged and said their policies were very stiff.
My friend got a job testing samples at a sperm bank but got fired on his first day. I asked him what happened and he said he got caught drinking on the job.
I was having trouble conceiving with my wife so my doctor recommended I make regular deposits at the sperm bank to increase my fertility. I’ve been going every day for a week now but I’m pretty sure the receptionist is starting to recognize me.
When I was a broke college student I signed up to donate sperm for some extra cash. It sounded like easy money but they rejected me as a donor. When I asked why, they said it was because my sperm count was too high and they had a low demand for donors of my caliber.
I lost my job and was so desperate for money that I signed up for an experimental drug trial. There were lots of unusual tests and procedures but the weirdest one was when they made me go to the “lab” twice a day and submit a sperm sample. I didn’t understand what sperm had to do with experimental drugs but hey, 50 bucks is 50 bucks.
My friend works at a sperm bank and he told me business has been slow lately. I asked if he had considered any new promotions to attract more clients. He said they were thinking about a frequent depositor program or maybe a referral rewards system.
I was having trouble finding a job so I signed up to be a sperm donor for some quick cash. It sounded simple enough but on my first day they immediately fired me. When I asked why, they showed me the cup I had just submitted. Apparently drinking your sample rather than donating it is strongly frowned upon.
Working at the sperm bank definitely has its challenges. Sure, the benefits are great, but it’s hard to stay professional when your job involves handling strangers’ deposits all day. Last week, we had this one guy who I guess was trying to be “generous” with his sample. Let’s just say it was a little more than we had bargained for and made a huge mess. Now that’s what I call a sticky situation!
I was down on my luck so I decided to visit the local fertility clinic to donate some sperm for quick cash. The doctor explained that before becoming an approved donor, I would need to provide a sperm sample for some standard tests. He handed me a tiny plastic cup and directed me to the room down the hall. A few minutes later, I came back with the sample cup completely full to the brim and handed it to him. Let’s just say from the shocked look on his face, I gathered that a small cupful would have sufficed.
When I lost my job, I decided to make some quick money as a sperm donor. On my first day at the sperm bank, the nurse handed me a plastic cup and directed me to the “collection room.” A few minutes later, I casually walked back out while sipping a soda from the cup. Let’s just say that was the end of my short-lived sperm donation career.
As a receptionist at a sperm bank, I’ve seen some weird things on the job. But last week really took the cake. This scrawny, nervous looking guy walks up holding his deposit sample. But he’s clutching it so tightly that the lid pops right off, spilling the contents all over the front desk. The poor guy looked like he wanted to die of embarrassment. I tried to lighten the mood by saying, “Well, I guess we can say your sample made quite the splash!” But something tells me he won’t be coming back again anytime soon.
I recently switched careers and took a job at the sperm bank. It seemed easy enough – take clients’ deposits, do some lab processing, make some money. On my first day, the receptionist handed me a sample jar and said “Take this to the lab.” Without thinking, I grabbed it and took a big swig right in front of her! Let’s just say my sperm bank career ended that very same day.
I was down on my luck financially and decided to visit the local sperm bank to make a quick buck. The doctor explained that they had to test all samples before paying donors. He handed me a tiny cup and directed me to the room down the hall. I emerged a few minutes later with a fully loaded tall cup of soda in hand. Let’s just say I didn’t pass the entrance exam.
I recently visited a sperm bank in hopes of making some easy money. The nurse handed me a cup and directed me to the “collection room.” A few minutes later, I walked out drinking a refreshing sample of their complementary coffee, completely forgetting why I had gone in there in the first place. Needless to say, I think that little mishap got me banned for life!
My buddy got a job at the sperm bank but was fired after the first week. When I asked what happened, he said it was totally unfair—he swears he was just tasting the samples to “ensure quality control.”
Working at a sperm bank definitely exposes you to all walks of life. Take last week for example, when a 300 pound, sweaty guy plopped a warm sample cup on the counter and said, “Be gentle with it, sweetheart. It’s my first time.” I had to use all my willpower not to vomit right then and there!
Trying to earn a little extra cash, I signed up as a sperm donor at the local fertility clinic. Everything was going fine until the very attractive nurse handed me the collection cup and instructed me to “fill it up.” Let’s just say performance anxiety got the better of me and my sperm count came up embarrassingly low. There went my lucrative sperm donor career, all because of a pretty girl!
I was running low on funds so I decided to visit the sperm bank to make a quick deposit. The receptionist asked me if I had an account and I told her I wasn’t sure, this was my first time. She checked the records and said, “Oh yes, I see you’ve made several deposits here before.” When I told her she must have me confused with someone else, she winked and said, “Of course, how silly of me!”
When I lost my job, I decided to earn a little cash on the side by donating sperm at the local fertility clinic. On my first visit, the doctor asked me to provide a “sample” so he could evaluate my sperm quality before approving me as a donor. He handed me a tiny plastic cup and pointed me towards the restroom. When I came back and gave him the cup filled to the brim he said, “Uh, we usually just need about a teaspoonful.” Oops!
I was broke and desperate so I signed up to donate sperm. Trying to impress the fertility clinic, I chugged a gallon of milk before providing my sample. How was I supposed to know it doesn’t work that way? Let’s just say the doctor was not pleased when I handed over a bucket filled to the brim. Needless to say, my sperm donation days were over.
Donating sperm seemed like quick, easy money so I signed up at my local fertility clinic. Everything was going smoothly until the nurse handed me the collection cup and said, “Make sure to fill it to the line, please.” I guess in my nervous haste I overshot it just a bit because let’s just say that cup runneth over! Talk about an awkward mess. Needless to say, I won’t be getting that sperm donor money anytime soon.
I recently visited a fertility clinic to donate sperm as a way to earn extra cash on the side. The doctor asked me to “provide a sample” in the adjacent room so he could evaluate my sperm before approving me as a donor. Naively, I filled up the entire sample cup he had given me. Let’s just say by the horrified expression on his face when I handed it over, that was way more than he was expecting or needing!
I signed up with a sperm bank to make some quick money as a donor. On my first day, the receptionist handed me a cup and pointed down the hall to the “collection room.” A few minutes later, I strode back into the lobby sipping a fresh cup of coffee. Let’s just say my sperm donor career was over before it even began!
