Ballpoint Pen Puns (10)
1. I wanted to write a book, but I didn’t have the write stuff. I just needed the right pen!
2. My friend was confused why I carried around so many pens. I said, “It’s just in case I run out of ink!”
3. I brought my favorite pen to the bar last night. Now I can’t find it! I hope nobody took it home…that would be pen theft!
4. My pen pal really gets on my nerves. All he ever does is write.
5. I asked the stationery store employee if they sold pens that could write in outer space. He said, “Sorry, but there’s no atmosphere for that here.”
6. I wanted to buy a nice pen, but didn’t have enough money in my budget. So I had to use some pen-cillin.
7. My pen started insulting me while I was using it. I couldn’t believe it had such caustic ink!
8. I brought a broken pen back to the store to get a refund. They told me no returns were allowed if the pen was open.
9. I was nervous about running out of ink during an important exam. Luckily I had plenty of pen-etration power left in my pen.
10. My pen’s ink started to run out during an important meeting. It was an em-bare-ink situation.
Ballpoint Pen One-Liners (10)
11. I’m so glad pens don’t need charging or they would die at the worst times.
12. My handwriting is so bad, sometimes even I can’t read what I wrote with my favorite pen.
13. I accidentally left my good pen at the bank. Now my money is being held captive!
14. I named my new pen Excalibur because it makes me feel powerful when I write with it.
15. They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but in my case, the pen runs out of ink faster.
16. I’m convinced my pens get up and walk away when I’m not looking – it’s the only explanation for how often they disappear!
17. I write so much my pens start crying ink.
18. I’m so picky about pens that I keep spares of my favorites stashed all over in case of emergency.
19. I once had a nightmare where all my pens suddenly ran out of ink at the same time. Horrifying!
20. I accidentally washed my favorite pen – let’s just say that was a wash out.
Best Ballpoint Pen Jokes (29)
21. My friend asked to borrow a pen from me while we were taking an exam. I lent him my favorite ballpoint pen and told him I needed it back after the test. He promised he would return it. However, after the exam was over, he said he couldn’t find my pen anywhere! I gave him an icy stare and said, “That’s pen-alty for losing my favorite pen!”
22. I was sitting in a boring meeting doodling with my ballpoint pen when suddenly the ink ran out. I quickly reached into my bag for another pen but couldn’t find one. My heart sank as I realized I was stuck in this meeting without a way to keep myself entertained. No pen, no gain!
23. My son came home from school and excitedly told me his ballpoint pen ran out of ink while taking an important test. He didn’t have a spare so he tried to make the most out of the fading ink by writing harder. As the ink faded, his answers became illegible. When the teacher graded his test she assumed many of his responses were blank and he received a poor score! I told my son he needs to pen these important lessons in his memory for next time!
24. I was running late to an important meeting and frantically looking for a pen in my disorganized desk. I finally found one buried under a pile of papers but soon realized it didn’t work as it was completely out of ink. I tried scribbling furiously but nothing appeared on the page except a faint, sad scratching. My heart sank because I knew I was going to look foolish in front of everyone when I couldn’t even take notes. What an embarrassing day to forget to bring a working pen!
25. I was nervously waiting in the doctor’s office before my check-up. To distract myself, I grabbed a magazine and tried to do the word puzzle page, only to find that the provided ballpoint pen didn’t work at all! I kept scribbling but no ink came out. The blank boxes on the page started to taunt me as I became more anxious about my appointment. Why do they only put useless pens in waiting rooms when people need them the most!
26. The other day I was taking notes in a meeting with my favorite ballpoint pen. I had just gotten to an important point when suddenly my pen ran out of ink! I frantically shook and clicked it trying in vain to get more ink flow. My heart raced as I missed writing down the key details I needed. I made a mental note to start carrying spare pens to avoid another ink-credible failure!
27. I was signing an important document with my luxury ballpoint pen when suddenly the thick, glossy ink stopped flowing mid-signature. I was mortified as I excused myself to vigorously shake and click my expensive pen in hopes I could finish signing without embarrassment. Unfortunately, despite my most valiant efforts, not a single drop more of ink came out. What horrendous timing for my most prized writing instrument to fail me!
28. As a writer, I have an odd attachment to my favorite ballpoint pen. We have been through so much together from late night writing sessions to book signings to jotting down spur of the moment ideas on napkins. But lately, it feels like our bond is fading as the ink keeps drying up at the most inconvenient times. I shake and click it repeatedly trying to get the ink to flow again, but it just seems tired, unmotivated. I may need to accept our partnership has run its course and it’s time to find a new writing companion. Goodbye old friend, thanks for all of the words!
29. I was half asleep in a dreadfully monotonous meeting when I absentmindedly clicked my ballpoint pen only to realize the ink cartridge was completely empty. No amount of clicking or shaking produced even the faintest ink line. I was jolted awake by the harsh reality that I had no way to get through this meeting without my doodling crutch. As I sat there frozen, pen poised above my notebook, the speaker droned on as I accepted my miserable fate. From now on I’m bringing a backup pen to avoid this inky nightmare!
30. As an artist, having a pen run out of ink mid-sketch is a nightmare. Last week, I was happily drawing with my favorite ballpoint pen when suddenly the page was just…blank. No matter how hard I scribbled or how much I clicked, not a single line appeared. My pen-to-paper flow was completely blocked! I was so frustrated I had to walk away and come back when I found a new pen. Creativity interrupted is the worst!
31. I was signing an important document when my ballpoint pen unexpectedly died mid-signature. My heart stopped as I stared at the half-finished scribble on the paper, willing more ink to appear. I shook the pen vigorously like my life depended on it, but not a drop emerged. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead as all eyes were on me. I let out a pathetic laugh and said my pen must have stage fright. Now I always come prepared with multiple writing instruments to avoid another inking disaster!
32. As a reporter, having a pen run out of ink during an interview is my worst nightmare. Last week, I was interviewing a high-profile celebrity when suddenly my pen just…stopped writing. My heart raced and I discreetly shook my pen under the table trying to get it to work again. As the celebrity kept talking, oblivious to my dilemma, I panicked about missing this headline-making scoop. I learned the hard way to always have plenty of backup pens in my bag from now on!
33. I was signing important paperwork in my boss’s office when I got to the client’s signature line and realized, to my horror, that my pen was completely out of ink. I tried to scribble but nothing appeared except a pitiful scratching noise. My boss and the client stared at me as I laughed nervously and said, “Whoops, looks like I’m out of ink!” I wanted to crawl under the table as I shamefully asked my boss for a working pen. Now I have post-traumatic pen anxiety and bring multiple backups to every important meeting.
34. As an academic, I rely on my favorite ballpoint pen to take extensive class notes and grade papers. During a long lecture one day, I went to jot down a key point when suddenly…nothing! Just a dry scratching sound where dark ink should be. I frantically shook my pen to no avail. As the professor continued talking, I helplessly missed writing down pages of notes. I was so embarrassed having to ask a classmate if I could borrow a pen. Now I start every semester by stocking up on pens!
35. I was taking the SAT and had breezed through the first few sections. Feeling confident, I leaned back in my chair and casually clicked my pen – only to discover it was totally out of ink! No matter how hard I scribbled, my answer sheet remained blank. I panicked imagining losing points for unanswered questions. From then on, I brought a dozen backup pens to every exam. Not getting into my dream college because of a pen fail would’ve been a travesty!
36. As an author doing an important book signing, my worst nightmare came true when my pen ran out of ink mid-autograph! There I was, smiling for the camera when suddenly no ink appeared on the page. My fans looked at me expectantly as I vainly clicked my useless pen. I wanted to disappear as I was forced to ask the bookstore for a new pen while everyone watched. Now I come armed with enough writing instruments to sign a whole bookstore worth of books! Can’t let my fans down again!
37. As a doctor, having a pen die during a patient exam is incredibly unprofessional. Just the other day I was writing notes while checking a patient’s breathing when suddenly my pen just…stopped working. No matter how hard I scribbled, ink would not come out! As the patient looked on nervously, I excused myself saying I needed a new pen. So embarrassing for both me and my patient! Now I have pens stashed in every pocket to avoid another appointment disaster.
38. Yesterday I was writing invitations for my daughter’s birthday party when I got halfway through the list and my pen died! No matter how many times I clicked it or scribbled furiously, nothing would write. I had 20 more envelopes to address and no other black pens in the house! In a panic I grabbed a glitter gel pen to finish, ruining the elegant vibe. Now I have a lifetime supply of basic pens – you never know when you’ll need to write 24 invitations in a row!
39. As a lawyer, I consider a pen running out of ink during a trial objectionable and sustaining to my career. Just imagine frantically trying to take notes while defending your client when suddenly your pen fails you! No objection your honor, I just need to grab another pen real quick so I can finish recording this testimony. I rest my case for always carrying multiple pens in the courtroom!
40. During a long flight, I had finally gotten engrossed in my novel when the passenger next to me asked if he could borrow a pen. I politely handed him my favorite ballpoint pen and went back to reading. Later when he returned it, the ink was completely gone! He apologetically admitted to using it to complete his crossword puzzle, leaving me penniless for the remainder of the flight. From now on I’m keeping spare pens in my carry-on in case of emergency ink extraction.
41. As a graduate student, I rely on my faithful ballpoint pen to take copious notes during endless lectures. Last week during a particularly dry 3-hour seminar, I went to write down something important when suddenly…nothing! Just a faint scratching where my ink should be. I hopelessly clicked and shook my pen under the desk to no avail as the speaker droned on. I missed at least a dozen key concepts before shamefully having to borrow a classmate’s pen. Never again will I be without multiple writing backups!
42. Yesterday I made the rookie mistake of lending my favorite ballpoint pen to a coworker without thinking. Later when she returned it, I was horrified to discover the entire ink cartridge had been drained! She sheepishly admitted to using it to make ornate doodles during phone calls. I politely thanked her and then immediately squirreled the pen away in my locked desk drawer. Lesson learned – never lend your good pens to habitual doodlers!
43. As an elementary school teacher, I know a pen running out of ink can mean chaos if a student can’t complete their worksheet. Just imagine frantic little hands shaking empty pens as you scramble to distribute backups! The other day, I thought I was so prepared with a fresh set of pens only to discover they were all totally dry. Rookie mistake – now I have a stockpile of pens in my desk to avoid another stationery emergency.
44. As a college student, I treat my favorite pen like my child – it goes everywhere with me and I panic if I can’t find it in my bag. During finals week last semester I sat down to take my big Physics exam, clicked open my pen and…nothing. Not a drop of ink despite my desperate scribbling and shaking. I had to walk shamefully up to the professor to request a new pen as my classmates whispered. Now I arm myself with enough writing utensils for any mult-hour exam!
45. I was signing legal documents for a new business loan when I got to the last page and my pen unexpectedly died! There I was, poised to sign with my fancy monogrammed pen, when no ink appeared despite furious scribbling. As the lawyers watched impatiently, I dug every pen I had out of my briefcase only to find they were all dried up. What an amateur move! Now I have a suit lined with pockets each containing a working ballpoint to avoid another embarrassing situation.
46. As a journalist, having a pen fail during a key interview could mean missing out on front page news. Picture frantically scribbling down quotations when suddenly…nothing! Just empty scratching on the page. As the exclusive scoop talks on, oblivious, you’re forced to interrupt and sheepishly request to borrow their pen. Rookie mistake! Now I come prepared with every pocket holding a backup pen, guaranteed to never miss a great soundbite.
47. I was taking notes in a big meeting when my pen unexpectedly ran dry mid-sentence! As the presenter continued reviewing important data, I helplessly clicked my useless pen in vain. My heart pounded realizing I was missing crucial information that could cost me my job! From now on, I come to every meeting armed with multiple pens to avoid another potentially career-ending ink outage.
48. As an obsessive list maker, there is nothing worse than having a brilliant idea to add to my list, pulling out my favorite pen and…nothing! Just empty scratching where inky bullet points should be. I’ve actually run out of places on my body to stash backup pens for these ink emergencies. Better stock up on some pen caddies for my car and every room of the house just in case inspiration strikes again!
49. I was halfway through addressing my wedding invitations when my pen suddenly died! No matter how much I scribbled or clicked, ink would not flow. I couldn’t believe it chose such an important moment to abandon me. In a panic, I had to finish addressing envelopes in a colorful gel pen, clashing with my elegant black calligraphy. From now on I buy pens in bulk for important stationery projects! Running out of ink again would be simply traumatic.