Alarm Clock Puns
1. I was running late this morning so I decided to set my alarm clock a few minutes fast. I guess you could say I was alarmsing the time!
2. My alarm clock went off an hour early today. It was a rude awakening.
3. I bought a new alarm clock that has motivational messages to help me get up in the morning. I guess you could say it gives me ins-alarm-ation.
4. I accidentally knocked my alarm clock onto the floor this morning and now it’s not working properly. I guess it’s a little alarm-aged.
5. I need to get a new alarm clock. My current one just rings continuously until I get up. It’s an alarm-ing experience!
6. I decided to sleep in this morning and turned my alarm clock off. I guess you could say I dis-alarm-ed it.
7. My alarm clock plays soothing nature sounds to wake me up gently in the morning. I’m a big fan of the alarm-ing calls of birds.
8. I wish my alarm clock had a snooze button that let me sleep in longer. The short snooze time it has now is dis-alarm-ing.
9. I accidentally set my alarm clock for PM instead of AM and was late for everything the next day. It was an alarming mistake.
10. I slammed my hand down on my alarm clock so hard this morning that it stopped ringing instantly. I guess you could say I clocked it good.
Alarm Clock One-Liners
11. My alarm clock is so loud it could wake the dead…and I think one day it just might.
12. I need an alarm clock with wheels so it can run away and hide from me in the morning.
13. My alarm clock doesn’t understand the phrase “5 more minutes.”
14. Keep sleeping, I’ll just smash this alarm clock and buy another one.
15. My alarm clock has an evil laugh instead of a beep to wake me up.
16. I wish I could sleep as deeply as I do right after hitting the snooze button.
17. My alarm clock thinks weekends and holidays are just a myth.
18. I swear my alarm clock gets louder each time I hit snooze.
19. My alarm clock has no clue how badly I want to launch it out the window.
20. Why do alarm clocks always go off when your dream is getting good?
Best Alarm Clock Jokes
21. I was running really late for work so I decided to take my alarm clock into the car with me. I figured if I get pulled over for speeding, I can just show the officer my alarm clock and say, “Sorry, I’m just trying not to be late!”
22. My alarm clock has a new feature where it launches my phone across the room when it goes off so I have to get out of bed to turn it off. It’s actually working pretty well as an alarm system so far – except for my phone screen which now has more cracks than a broken mirror.
23. I was dreaming that I was swimming in a pool of chocolate when suddenly a giant alarm clock dove in and started ringing loudly in my ear. Let’s just say I woke up with a craving for chocolate but not clocks.
24. My alarm clock has developed an attitude problem. This morning when it went off, I hit snooze and it said “Oh no you don’t! Get your lazy butt out of bed now!”
25. I was running late to work so I decided to take a shortcut through the park. Suddenly an angry flock of geese started chasing me. For a second I thought my alarm clock had learned how to fly!
26. This morning my alarm went off and I accidentally slapped myself across the face trying to hit snooze. Nothing like some light self-inflicted alarm clock violence to start your day.
27. My alarm clock is jealous of my cell phone. It threw a tantrum this morning when I checked my notifications before turning it off.
28. I wish my alarm clock had a setting to brew a fresh pot of coffee right before going off. I’d be much more eager to wake up if alarm clock = coffee.
29. My alarm clock fell on the floor last night and now it’s stuck on snooze. I woke up late thinking it was Saturday but nope…just a broken alarm.
30. I had a nightmare last night where I was trapped in a haunted house and my alarm clock was possessed, ringing nonstop as it chased me from room to room. Waking up to my real alarm this morning was a relief, even if I was tired.
31. My alarm clock must think I’m training for a competitive sleeping event with how often I hit the snooze button. Gotta sleep fast and sleep hard!
32. I wish my alarm clock had an ejector bed function that automatically launches me out of bed when it goes off. I’d never be late again.
33. My alarm clock’s snooze button is way too close to the off button. This morning I accidentally turned it off completely and slept right through my alarm. Oops.
34. I had a crazy dream last night that I threw my alarm clock out the window because it wouldn’t stop buzzing. Then I woke up late for work and realized…maybe it wasn’t a dream after all.
35. My alarm clock tried to give me a motivational speech this morning about getting up on time and starting my day right. Pretty bold words coming from someone I want to launch across the room daily.
36. I wish my alarm clock would let me sleep in on weekends instead of waking me up at 6am like it’s a work day. Don’t make me unplug you!
37. My alarm clock went off this morning and I was so tired that I tried making coffee with my electric toothbrush. Not my finest moment.
38. I had a crazy nightmare that my alarm clock sprouted legs and ran away right before it was supposed to go off, making me late for everything. When I woke up I was so relieved it was still on my nightstand…but now I don’t quite trust it.
39. My alarm clock thinks my goal every morning is to beat my personal record for fastest snooze button slap. It’s very encouraging of my reflex skills.
40. I wish my alarm clock would let me sleep in on my birthday instead of insisting on waking me up at 6am sharp. So insensitive for it to not even wish me a happy birthday!
41. I’m thinking of getting one of those fancy alarm clocks with the artificial sun feature. That way when it goes off, instead of being mad I’ll just feel like I’m having a relaxing morning on the beach.
42. I had a crazy dream last night that I overslept and missed my flight because my alarm clock went on strike and refused to wake me up. Those union negotiations were ruthless!
43. My alarm clock tried to sing me a wake up song this morning but it was so off-key that I threw a pillow at it. Funny how something so annoying can motivate you to get out of bed real fast.