Gas Can Puns (15) 1. I wanted to fill up my gas can, but the gas station attendant said it was already full. I said, “Are you sure? That can’t be!” 2. My friend brought his rusty old gas can to get it repaired. The mechanic took one look and said, “This can is beyond …
Random Jokes
Countertop Puns What do you call a countertop that holds back information? A counter-intelligence! Why was the countertop hired by the baseball team? It was good at catching spills! I asked my countertop what time it was. It said, “What, you expect me to keep count too?!” What did the countertop say to the cabinet? …
Glass Puns I was going to make a chemistry joke about glass, but I don’t think I’d get a reaction. Working with molten glass requires a high degree of patience. It’s a pane to make even the simplest things. The old glass factory had to shut down. It couldn’t keep up with the times and …
Stapler Puns I was going to make a joke about staplers, but it was pointless. My stapler identifies as a paper fastener. Who am I to label it? What do you call a lazy stapler? A stableapler! Why can’t staplers join the army? They lack combat training. What do you call a stapler that loves …
Garbage Bag Puns 1. I asked my friend if he wanted to hear a joke about garbage bags, but he said no thanks, he didn’t want to waste his time. 2. My friend said she was so angry she wanted to punch a hole in a garbage bag. I told her to just take a …
Couch Puns 1. I bought a really expensive leather couch last week. It cost a pretty Penny. 2. My new couch is extremely modern and sharp looking. You could say it has a lot of edge. 3. I was feeling drained so I headed straight to my fainting couch to take a nap. 4. The …
Gift Wrap Puns I bought my friend a gift, but I was struggling to wrap it. I guess you could say it was a wrap rap! My wife asked me to help wrap presents. I said, “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.” Why was the wrapping paper sad? It felt tearable! What do you call …
Shelf Puns (20) 1. I asked the hardware store employee where the shelves were. He said, “Aisle try to help you find them.” 2. Our bookshelf collapsed suddenly. It was a bit of a shelf-destruct sequence. 3. I entered my incredibly organized bookshelf in a contest. It won first prize on the top shelf. 4. …
Sponge Puns What do you call a sponge that helps you clean? A sponge aid! Why can’t sponges play tag? Because they’re always it! I heard sponges make great secretaries. They’re very absorbent. What do you get when you cross a sponge with a spider? A spinder! How do sponges communicate under water? With sea …
Cookie Jar Puns (15 jokes) 1. I was going to bake some chocolate chip cookies, but I checked the cookie jar and it was completely empty. What a crumby situation! 2. Our cookie jar is shaped like a cow. You could say it’s our cookie cud jar. 3. I put eyes and a mouth on …