Pee Puns 1. I was going to tell a urine joke, but I decided to just let it flow. 2. My friend was bragging that he could hold his pee for hours. I told him not to make it a wee-ality competition. 3. Did you hear about the new restaurant called P? Their signature dish …
Random Jokes
Racing Puns 1. I’m so exhausted from running the race. I’m ready to pass out on the track. 2. The race cars zoomed by so fast, it made my head spin out of control. 3. The race was neck and neck until the very last lap. It was a photo finish. 4. The Indy 500 …
No Arms No Legs Puns (15) 1. I once knew a man with no arms and no legs who got a job at IHOP. He was the best pancake flipper they ever had! 2. My friend with no limbs loves playing Scrabble but he’s not very good at it. He just can’t get a hand …
Hairline Puns (15) 1. I asked my barber for a hairline like Lebron James. He said, “Sorry, I don’t do transplants.” 2. My friend got a hair tattoo to fix his receding hairline. Now he has a head full of hare. 3. I heard NASA is studying the trajectory of my friend’s receding hairline. They …
Filipino Puns (15) 1. What do you call a Filipino who loves math? A Philip-ino! 2. Why don’t Filipinos ever get cold? Because they have a lot of relatives. 3. What do you call a sleepy Filipino? A Philip-snooze! 4. Why are Filipinos good detectives? Because they can Filip-investigate! 5. What do you call a …
Welding Puns 1. I took my welding equipment in for repairs and the technician said, “Don’t worry, we’ll get to the root of the problem.” 2. I was looking for a new welding helmet and the salesperson suggested I try a flip-up model. I said, “No thanks, I don’t want to be blinded by the …
Cinco De Mayo Puns (15) 1. I wanted to make a pun about Cinco de Mayo, but my margarita couldn’t think of one. 2. What do you call a Cinco de Mayo party with no tequila? A sinco de sad-o. 3. Why was the Cinco de Mayo party so chaotic? It was mayhem. 4. Why …
Graduation Puns (15) 1. I heard the valedictorian’s speech was very concise and to the Dean’s list. 2. The honor students were really on a roll at graduation. Their parents must be so proudough of them. 3. Why did the graduate bring scissors to the ceremony? To cut the tension! 4. How did the art …
Hawaii Puns (15) 1. I went to a luau in Hawaii and ate so much poi I got consti-poi-ted. 2. The hula dancers in Hawaii shake their grass skirts so fast it creates its own hula-caust. 3. The tourists were disappointed that the Hawaiian volcano didn’t lava lot of excitement. 4. The Hawaiian real estate …
Snowflake Puns 1. I wanted to make a snowflake pun, but they’re all too derivative. 2. What do you call a snowflake who works as a DJ? A snowspiner! 3. Why was the snowflake upset? He was having a meltdown! 4. My friend got mad when I called him a snowflake. He said, “I’m unique …