Everyday Objects Puns (17) 1. I was going to tell a joke about paper, but it was tearable. 2. The spoon was feeling down in the dumps because it thought its life was too shallow. 3. I asked my bed what it thought about current events. It said it didn’t want to make blanket statements. …
Random Jokes
Yardstick Puns 1. I was trying to measure the length of my room, but I didn’t have a ruler. Thankfully my friend lent me his yardstick. You could say he really came in handy! 2. My wife asked me to pick up a yardstick while I was at the hardware store. I told her, “No …
Watermelon Puns (30) 1. What do you call a watermelon that tells jokes? A comedian! 2. Why was the watermelon invited to the party? Because it was the life of the party! 3. Why don’t watermelons get married? Because they cantaloupe! 4. What did one watermelon say to the other while dancing? You look so …
Totem Pole Puns (20) 1. I wanted to carve a totem pole, but I woodknot know where to start. 2. My friend is obsessed with totem poles. I think he needs totem down a bit. 3. Did you hear about the totem pole that was arrested? He was charged with illegal logging. 4. I entered …
Tinsel Puns 1. I tried to make some tinsel from old ketchup packets, but it turned out to be a condi-mint! 2. The tinsel was angry after being removed from the tree. It was very dis-ornamented. 3. Did you hear about the tinsel that was charged with glittering? The police said it was looking shady. …
The Beatles Puns (15) 1. The Beatles were asked to star in a movie about submarines. They turned it down because they didn’t want to be in a yellow submarine. 2. Paul McCartney entered an apple pie baking contest. He was disqualified when the judges found out the pie contained Maxwell’s silver beetles. 3. John …
McDonald’s Puns 1. I’m lovin’ it when the McDonald’s cashier asks if I want fries with that. It cracks me up every time! 2. Working at McDonald’s has its ups and Downsizes. 3. I ordered a Filet-O-Fish at McDonald’s, but I think they gave me a Flop-O-Fish instead! 4. I asked for a Happy Meal …
Rowing Puns 1. I wanted to go rowing, but I was just too tide. 2. I heard two rowers got into a fight. I guess they were stroke rivals. 3. Did you hear about the rowing team that got lost during practice? They really missed the boat on that one. 4. Why was the rowing …
Santa Claus Puns (10) What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper! Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem. Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho-ho-ho! What do you get when you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker! How do you know when …
Baseball Puns 1. I tried to catch fog yesterday, but I mist. 2. What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeño business! 3. Why does a moon-rock taste better than an earth-rock? Because it’s a little meteor. 4. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? …