Toothbrush Puns I was feeling a bit down, but my new electric toothbrush really brightened my day. My dentist told me I need to buy a new toothbrush. I said I would brush him off. Did you hear about the electric toothbrush that was feeling under the weather? It had a battery infection! Want to …
Random Jokes
Toilet Paper Puns (15) 1. I entered a competition for who could write the best toilet paper jokes. I got a roll of honourable mention! 2. Did you hear about the new extra soft toilet paper? It’s called John Wayne because it doesn’t take crap off anyone. 3. My friend got fired from the toilet …
Atlas Puns 1. I heard Atlas was feeling overworked and stressed. I guess the weight of the world was really bearing down on him. 2. Atlas tried picking up yoga but just couldn’t seem to find his center while holding up the world. 3. Atlas decided to go to the chiropractor, but it was impossible …
Apron Puns 1. I wanted to buy my chef friend a new apron, but the prices were unbe-leaf-able. 2. My wife asked me to put on an apron while cooking, but I refused. I don’t wanna look crusty! 3. I entered my homemade apron into the county fair. The judges said it was very a-peel-ing! …
Planner Puns (15) 1. I was running late to my appointment, but my planner kept me on schedule. It really planned ahead! 2. I bought a daily planner but returned it because it didn’t have enough pages. I guess I needed a year planner instead! 3. My planner is very organized but also quite demanding. …
Hoodie Puns (12) I entered my hoodie into a baking contest. It didn’t win, but I think it was pretty even-steven. My favorite hoodie was stolen. I reported it to the police, but they said there was no lead. Seems like they’re just grasping at straws. I was cold so I put on two hoodies. …
Mixer Puns I asked my friend if she wanted to get a new mixer. She said, “Wisk me away!” My mixer is so old, it belongs in a museum. You could say it’s an antique beater. I entered my mixer in a baking contest. It really whipped the competition. I was looking for a new …
Aluminum foil Puns 1. I was going to tell a joke about aluminum foil, but decided to keep it wrapped up for now. 2. My friend got angry when I poked holes in his aluminum foil hat. I told him to lighten up! 3. Did you hear about the aluminum foil that was feeling down? …
Alligator clip Puns 1. I bought some new alligator clips, but they kept nipping at my wires. I should have known better than to buy ones with teeth! 2. My friend who works in electronics told me he was hungry, so I handed him an alligator clip and said, “Here, have a byte!” 3. I …
Alarm Clock Puns 1. I was running late this morning so I decided to set my alarm clock a few minutes fast. I guess you could say I was alarmsing the time! 2. My alarm clock went off an hour early today. It was a rude awakening. 3. I bought a new alarm clock that …