Curtains Puns 1. I was feeling drafty so I installed some new curtains. You could say I got a little window treatment. 2. My friend bought some floral print curtains. I told him they look a little sheers. 3. I heard about a guy who got injured installing curtains. The police are currently blindsiding him …
Random Jokes
Cell Phone Puns I told my friend I was going to get the new iPhone, he said I shouldn’t fall for their mar-kitting tricks. My cell phone battery died so I had to go old school and use a payphone. It was a smartphone move. I entered my cell phone into a beauty pageant. Apparently …
Flashlight Puns What do you call a flashlight that stops working? A pass-light. Why can’t you tell a joke to a flashlight? It might brighten up for a second, but it will never crack a smile. My flashlight told me it was going on a diet. It said it wanted to lose a few lumens. …
Ring Puns I was going to make a ring pun, but I think I’ll just band them altogether. Did you hear about the angry jewelry maker? They were always throwing shade. I bought an engagement ring for my geology-obsessed girlfriend. I hope she likes this precious stone. Why can’t bicycles stand up on their own? …
Vacuum Puns I bought a new vacuum cleaner. It really sucks! My vacuum makes terrible noises when I use it. I guess it has dysonant tones. I entered my vacuum cleaner in a beauty pageant. It didn’t win but it sucked up the competition. My vacuum isn’t working very well anymore. I think it’s lacking …
Umbrella Puns (12) I brought my umbrella to a sword fight. You could say I was unarmed and dangerous. My umbrella is very optimistic. It always looks on the bright side. I entered my umbrella into a beauty pageant. It didn’t win, but it did get a raining applause. I was going to bring my …
Tweezers Puns (10) I was trying to tweeze my eyebrows into a nice shape, but I just couldn’t seem to get a good grip on the situation. My tweezers ran out of battery power so now they’re powerless to tweeze anything. I entered my tweezers into a bodybuilding competition but they didn’t stand a chance. …
Tupperware Puns What do you call a Tupperware container that plays music? A Tupperware band! Why can’t you trust a sealed Tupperware container? It’s always up to something shady! I bought my friend a Tupperware container for her birthday. She said it was the thought that counts. What do you call a Tupperware party in …
Trash Can Puns (15) What do you call a garbage can that’s also a talented singer? A trash can-tata! Why was the recycling bin angry at the trash can? They had beef from the pasta and needed to squash it! My friend was carrying a trash can to an event. I asked what it was …
Treadmill Puns 1. I was going to buy a treadmill, but I’m not sure if I should invest in all that running gear. 2. My new year’s resolution was to use my treadmill more. You could say I’m trying to turn over a new belt. 3. I put my treadmill in front of the TV …