Running Puns 1. I wanted to run a marathon, but I didn’t have the endurance. So I decided to just do a half-marathon instead—13.2 miles should be a walk in the park! 2. My friend got exhausted halfway through his first marathon. I guess he didn’t train well enough beforehand. Now he knows that running …
William Harris
Mud Puns 1. I wanted to make some pottery, but the clay was just too muddy for me. 2. The pig came home covered in mud and said, “I hope you don’t mind if I hog the shower!” 3. I slipped in the mud and got my clothes all dirty. Talk about a soil-staining experience! …
Rainbow Puns 1. I tried to capture a rainbow yesterday, but I mist. 2. What do you call a rainbow that goes on too long? Over the rainbowbow. 3. Why was the rainbow greedy? Because it wanted all the Skittles for itself. 4. The leprechaun got angry when I tried to steal his rainbow. I …
Frog Puns 1. What do you call a frog that’s bad at hide and seek? A croak-er. 2. What do you call a frog that works as a TV reporter? A news croaker. 3. Why are frogs always so happy? They just have to be hoppy. 4. What do you call a frog that likes …
Circus Puns 1. What do you call a funny circus performer? A comical. 2. Why did the circus clown go see a therapist? He was having an emotional jester crisis. 3. How do circus elephants stay connected? They use trunk calls. 4. Why do circus elephants never forget? Because they have good mammaries. 5. What …
Pirate Puns What do you call a pirate who skips class? Captain Hooky. How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer. Where do pirates get their hooks? At a second hand store. Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck. What’s a pirate’s favorite …
Doctor Puns What do you call a doctor who fixes websites? A URLologist. Why did the doctor get angry? He lost his patients. How does a doctor stay calm during surgery? They have nerves of steel. My doctor told me I was going deaf. The news was hard for me to hear. What do you …
Dating Puns 1. I wanted to take my date to a nice steakhouse, but she said we should meat somewhere else instead. 2. My friend went on a blind date. He thought she was a 10/10 until he saw her. 3. I was excited for my big date night until I remembered I was just …
Cowbell Puns 1. I’m not sure if I should buy a cowbell or not. It’s a huge commitment and I don’t want to jump into it without thinking through all the pros and cons first. I guess you could say I’m on the fence. 2. My friend got frustrated trying to hang up her new …
Butt Puns I tried to become a butt model, but I didn’t have the rear qualifications. My friend got mad when I told him his butt looked big. I guess I hit a sore bottom. Did you hear about the new restaurant called Cheeks? It specializes in chicken butt. I wanted to get my butt …