Remote control Puns 1. I wanted to watch a movie but couldn’t find the remote control. I guess you could say I was having a lost remote-y night. 2. My friend bought a fancy new remote control with voice commands. I asked him to show me how it works, but he was too remote to …
William Harris
Shovel Puns I was trying to dig a hole with a broken shovel, but I was getting nowhere fast. I guess you could say I was making no digress. I entered my shovel into a beauty pageant. It was up against some tough completion, but in the end it won by a landslide. My shovel …
Stove Puns I bought a new stove. It came fully equipped with all the latest features like Wi-Fi and Bluetooth. Now my oven mitts can connect directly to my smart fridge! What do you call an oven that plays jazz music? A saxophone! Why was the oven feeling depressed? It had a lot of issues …
Garbage Bag Puns 1. I asked my friend if he wanted to hear a joke about garbage bags, but he said no thanks, he didn’t want to waste his time. 2. My friend said she was so angry she wanted to punch a hole in a garbage bag. I told her to just take a …
Sponge Puns What do you call a sponge that helps you clean? A sponge aid! Why can’t sponges play tag? Because they’re always it! I heard sponges make great secretaries. They’re very absorbent. What do you get when you cross a sponge with a spider? A spinder! How do sponges communicate under water? With sea …
Notebook Puns I used to think my notebook was imaginary, but it’s actually real – it was just complex! My notebook is so shy it always covers its margins. My math notebook asked me to give it some space. I said, “Don’t worry, I’ve got lots of margins for you.” My notebook’s favorite month is …
Tupperware Puns What do you call a Tupperware container that plays music? A Tupperware band! Why can’t you trust a sealed Tupperware container? It’s always up to something shady! I bought my friend a Tupperware container for her birthday. She said it was the thought that counts. What do you call a Tupperware party in …
Checkbook Puns I was going to make a joke about my checkbook, but there would be no balance to it. My checkbook is very boaring. All it has are a bunch of check marks. I bought a checkbook cover to keep my finances a secret, but it was no use. I still have so many …
Lightning Puns (15) 1. I wanted to make a joke about lightning, but I didn’t want to attract too much current interest. 2. The lightning was extremely bright. It was an illuminating experience. 3. Did you hear about the electrician who got hit by lightning? He was shocked. 4. I tried catching lightning in a …
Gas Puns 1. I had some bad intestinal gas last night. It was a real pain in the gas tank. 2. My friend is opening a new store that sells environmentally friendly natural gas. It’s going to be called Eco-Gas. 3. I was feeling gassy after eating a lot of beans. I guess I was …
