Heart Puns (25) 1. I tried to draw a heart, but it wasn’t very aorta-cute. 2. My doctor told me I need to watch my cholesterol so I can have a healthy heart. I told him he shouldn’t put so much stock in fortune cookies. 3. I wanted to get a tattoo of a heart, …
Robert Hayes
Zebra Puns (15) 1. Why do zebras make terrible lawyers? They’re always black and white about everything! 2. I got fired from the zoo for painting the zebras. Apparently it goes against their stripe policy. 3. Did you hear about the zebra that got arrested? He was charged with impersonating a pedestrian. 4. Why don’t …
Count Dracula Puns 1. Why does Dracula avoid exercising? He hates getting a stake in his heart. 2. What did Dracula say when he was feeling hungry? I could really fang a bite right now. 3. Why was Dracula binge watching TV shows? He was coffin up on the couch. 4. Why do vampires make …
Brick Puns What do you call a bricklayer who won’t stop talking about movies? A cinema mason. Did you hear about the angry brick? It hit the roof! Why was the brick tired when he got home from work? He felt drained. Why did the brick get sent to jail? For a salt and battery. …
Boy Scouts Puns (10) 1. I wanted to join the Boy Scouts, but they said I couldn’t cut it. Guess I just wasn’t prepared enough. 2. I was excited for my first camping trip with the Boy Scouts until I realized we were actually staying in cabins. Talk about being misled! 3. The Boy Scouts …
Autumn Puns 1. What do you call a nervous leaf? A shake-y oak! 2. Why was the scarecrow promoted? He was out standing in his field. 3. How do trees get on the internet? They just log on. 4. Why do trees hate tests? Because they get stumped on all the hard questions. 5. What …
Adoption Puns 1. I heard about a family who adopted 25 kids. They have a lot of new editions! 2. My friend just adopted a puppy. I told him “Congrats on the adop-tion!” 3. I was thinking of adopting a kitten but realized I’m not ready for that big of a commit-meow-nt. 4. When my …
Dopey Puns 1. What do you call Dopey after he smokes weed? Dopier. 2. Why was Dopey disappointed when he bought a bag of weed? It was dwarted expectations. 3. Why did Dopey get high before going to the mine? He wanted to feel a little mining-numb. 4. What did Dopey say when the edible …
President Puns Why didn’t the president want to run for a third term? He didn’t want to be in of-FIECE too long! Which president loved horses? Neigh-gan. What do you call a leader who got impeached twice? A peach mint president. What did the president say to the horse? Stop horsing around. Why couldn’t the …
Alabama Puns (12) 1. What do you call a toothless man from Alabama? A gummy redneck. 2. Why don’t Alabama families go to the beach? They don’t want to get tide. 3. Why did the Alabama man put wheels on his house? He wanted a mobile home. 4. What do you call an Alabama family …