Ring Puns I was going to make a ring pun, but I think I’ll just band them altogether. Did you hear about the angry jewelry maker? They were always throwing shade. I bought an engagement ring for my geology-obsessed girlfriend. I hope she likes this precious stone. Why can’t bicycles stand up on their own? …
Robert Hayes
Clock Puns (16) 1. I fired my clockmaker because he was always running late. I guess he needed to re-watch his timing. 2. I brought my broken clock to get fixed, but the clockmaker refused. I guess he doesn’t have the time. 3. Did you hear about the clock that was arrested? It was charged …
Everyday Objects Puns (17) 1. I was going to tell a joke about paper, but it was tearable. 2. The spoon was feeling down in the dumps because it thought its life was too shallow. 3. I asked my bed what it thought about current events. It said it didn’t want to make blanket statements. …
Fans Puns (12) I’m a big fan of puns about fans, they really blow me away. What do you call a fan that stops working? A fan failure. Why don’t ceiling fans ever get tired? They’re good at fan-ding their energy levels. My friend is obsessed with fans. I told him he needs to fan-d …
Rope Puns 1. I wanted to buy some rope but I didn’t have enough dough, so I had to skip it. 2. The rope walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The bartender said, “I’m afraid I can’t serve you.” The rope was stunned! 3. Did you hear about the angry rope? It had …
Maya Hee Puns (15) 1. I heard Maya Hee is opening a new Japanese restaurant. It will be called Sush-Hee! 2. Did you hear about Maya Hee’s new clothing line? It’s called Hee Couture. 3. Maya Hee recently got into gardening. Her specialty is growing heebie jeebies. 4. I asked Maya Hee if she wanted …
Toe Puns 1. I stubbed my toe this morning. It was quite the mis-foot-une. 2. My friend got athlete’s foot between his toes. I told him he needs to focus on his feet more. 3. I was going to tell a toe joke, but it would just be footer thought. 4. Did you hear about …
Dog Puns 1. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador. 2. Want to hear a joke about dogs? Just sit and stay. 3. What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator? A friend you can count on. 4. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, …
America Puns (12) 1. I heard America likes to eat a lot of fast food. They must have a quick metabolism! 2. America is obsessed with entertainment media. I guess you could say they’re a nation of procrastinators! 3. America loves convenience foods that are easy to prepare. You could say they’re a country of …
Ice Puns (15) 1. I went to a hockey game and got hit with a puck. Now I have an ice pack on my head! 2. I was going to make some iced tea but all the ice cubes melted. What a missed opportunity! 3. The ice cream truck driver quit his job because it …