Desktop Computer Puns (20) I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist. A neutron walks into a bar and asks, “how much for a drink?” The bartender replies, “for you, no charge.” Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds. I entered a contest for procrastinators. I plan to enter …
Robert Hayes
Glasses Puns 1. I broke my glasses yesterday. I guess I just couldn’t see that coming! 2. My friend got some new glasses that gave him telescopic vision. Now he can see things from afar! 3. I was going to tell my eye doctor a glasses joke, but I decided not to because I didn’t …
Nail clippers Puns 1. I bought my nail clippers a tiny apartment. It’s their mani-pad. 2. My nail clippers were feeling down, so I took them to the spa. They got a little off the top. 3. Nail clippers aren’t afraid to take risks. They live life on the edge. 4. I entered my nail …
Pen Puns 1. I tried to write with a broken pen, but it just wasn’t writing properly. I guess I’ll have to get to the point. 2. I asked my friend if I could borrow his expensive fountain pen. He said, “Sure, but don’t lose my pen or else there’ll be ink to pay.” 3. …
Bath mat Puns (10) I bought a bath mat that looks like a giant spider. You should have seen my wife when she stepped on it! She nearly hit the ceiling. My bath mat is so dirty, I think it needs its own bath mat. Did you hear about the thief who only steals bath …
Basket Puns 1. I entered my homemade basket into a weaving competition but it didn’t win first prizewicker. 2. Why don’t eggs fit well in a basket? They tend to eggs-scape! 3. My friend got mad when I beat him in a basket weaving contest. But hey, don’t get your twigs in a tangle! 4. …
Bandage Puns I tripped while hiking and had to get a bandage. I guess you could say I got… trail mix. My friend got a job at the bandage factory but quit on his first day. He said it was too much pressure to wrap things up. Did you hear about the clumsy chef who …
Pants Puns 1. I tried to sew a hole in my pants, but it just went in one cuff and out the other. 2. My friend got mad when I pranked him by sewing his pant legs together. I guess he didn’t appreciate that seam humor. 3. I was feeling down so I bought some …
Fridge Puns (14) What do you call a refrigerator that likes to tell jokes? A real cool comic. My fridge got cold feet about going to the arctic. It backed out at the last minute. I entered my fridge in a race. I think it can compete with the best of them because it’s always …
Jewelry Puns I took my broken necklace to the jewelry hospital to get it repaired. The doctor said it just needed a linkectomy. I was going to tell a joke about a precious gem, but na, I’ll just diamond dozen. My friend got arrested for stealing a gold chain. He’s now facing some pretty heavy …