Scarves + Puns I asked my scarf if it wanted to hear a joke, but it just wrapped around my neck and choked. My scarf collection is out of control. I need to reign it in before I’m found guilty of scarf trafficking. I was cold so I put on my favorite scarf, but it …
Lisa Garcia
Lamb Puns (10) What do you call a lamb who loves to read? A bookworm! Why did the lamb bring scissors to the farm? To shear its wool! How does a lamb stay connected? With baa-fi. Why was the little lamb sent to its room? It was baaad. What’s a lamb’s favorite candy? Lamba bars. …
Plum Puns 1. I went to the grocery store to buy some plums, but they were all prune out! 2. My friend got hungry while we were picking plums, so he started eating them right off the tree. I told him to stop being so plum crazy! 3. I entered my pet plum in a …
Skull Puns 1. I wanted to get inside your head, but I can’t find the door to your skull. 2. They say beauty is only skin deep, but I can see your skull and you still look good to me. 3. My friend got a skull tattoo, but I told him it was a no …
Father Ted Puns (15) What do you call Father Ted when he’s cleaning the parochial house? Sweeping Crepes! Why was Father Ted late for Mass? He was stuck in father traffic! What did Father Ted say when he won the lottery? It’s a miracle! How does Father Ted stay connected to his parishioners? Through pray-fi! …
Disney Puns 1. Why was Cinderella thrown off the Disneyland basketball team? She ran away from the ball! 2. Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space? He wanted to find Pluto! 3. What do you call a Disney store in France? EuroDisney! 4. Why did Goofy get fired from his job at the pancake …
Mole Puns 1. What do you call a mole who makes holes professionally? A molerat. 2. What do you call a mole that has access to secret or confidential information? A mole informant. 3. What do you call an undercover mole that infiltrates a criminal organization? A mole rat. 4. What do you call a …
Drink Puns 1. I only drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not. 2. I tried to make a milkshake but I could only manage a milkstir. 3. My friend got crushed by a pile of books. I guess he shouldn’t have judged them by their covers. 4. I was going …
Donald Duck Puns (15) What do you call Donald Duck when he does stand-up comedy? A quack-up comedian! Why does Donald Duck smell funny after a swim? He uses duck scents. What did Donald say when Daisy asked him to go to the mall? “Let’s go quack to the mall!” What did Donald tell Daisy …
Cookie Puns (10) 1. What do you call an angry biscuit? A shortbread with attitude. 2. Why was the cookie so sad? It just crumbled. 3. What do you call a soaked cookie? A moist treat. 4. Why did the cookie visit the doctor? It was feeling crumby. 5. How do cookies get in shape? …