Hand Sanitizer Puns (20) I asked my friend if he had any hand sanitizer, he said “Sorry, my hands are clean at the moment!” My hands were looking rough, so I bought some extra smooth hand sanitizer to help soften them up. Did you hear about the germ that was obsessed with hand sanitizer? He …
Jennifer Martinez
Dish Soap Puns (15) I bet the dish soap company makes a clean profit. Working at the dish soap factory seems like a sudsy job to me. The greedy dish soap salesman tried to liquidate his assets before bankruptcy. My dish soap bottles identify as full even though they’re empty inside. Getting good grades in …
Measuring Cup Puns (16) 1. I asked my friend if she wanted to hear a joke about measuring cups. She said, “Make it a tall one!” 2. Did you hear about the angry measuring cup? It was always getting steamed. 3. My measuring cups were feeling down, so I tried to lift their spirits. But …
Gloves Puns I asked the glove maker if business was going well. She said it has its ups and downs. The boxer entered the ring wearing bright red gloves. I guess you could say he was ready to deliver some punch lines. I saw a help wanted sign at the hand wear store that said …
Brush Puns I was going to buy an expensive electric toothbrush, but I decided to just stick with a manual one instead. I don’t like being brushed off. My friend got a job at the toothbrush factory. It’s not glamorous work, but it pays the bills and puts food on the table. He said it’s …
Ruler Puns (12) 1. I wanted to measure how long my friend could hold his breath, but I couldn’t find a ruler long enough! 2. My teacher asked me to measure the height of our classroom in centimeters, but I used inches instead. I guess I didn’t rule that one out correctly! 3. I was …
Paper towels Puns 1. I asked the cashier where the paper towels were, but he just shrugged. I guess he wanted to keep it under raps. 2. My friend was telling me about his new workout routine, but I wasn’t impressed. I told him he needed to up his reps if he wanted to see …
Sweatshirt Puns 1. I was going to buy a sweatshirt with a picture of a stop sign on it, but then I thought, hoodie really need one? 2. I entered my ugly Christmas sweater into a contest, but sadly it didn’t win first priz-ma. It was only awarderd honorable fleece mention. 3. What do you …
Sketchbook Puns (20) I was going to make a joke about sketchbooks, but the pages were blank. My friend was bragging about his new sketchbook, but I told him not to get a big head over a few empty pages. Did you hear about the sketchbook that was arrested? It was booked on charges of …
Trash Can Puns (15) What do you call a garbage can that’s also a talented singer? A trash can-tata! Why was the recycling bin angry at the trash can? They had beef from the pasta and needed to squash it! My friend was carrying a trash can to an event. I asked what it was …