Bacon Puns (30) 1. Don’t be so salty, my friend. You need to look on the bright side – the bacon side! 2. My doctor told me I need to cut back on sodium. I told him he’s insane if he thinks I’m giving up bacon! 3. I was feeling down, so I decided to …
Donald Ward
Battery Puns I tried to come up with a battery pun, but nothing sparked any ideas. Want to hear a joke about batteries? I’d tell you, but I don’t want to charge you for it. What do you call a battery that’s feeling down? A depressed cell. I tried to make a battery pun, but …
Cards Puns (15) 1. I wanted to get my friend a greeting card for her birthday that had a cute animal on it, but the only thing left in the store was a card with a lobster. I guess I’ll have to settle for a crabby birthday card. 2. My wife asked me to pick …
Furniture Puns 1. Why was the couch so exhausted? It was sofa king tired. 2. What did the table say to the chair? Pull up a seat! 3. Why did the bookshelf get voted most likely to succeed? It had a lot of potential. 4. How did the dresser feel being next to the bed? …
Ghost Puns 1. I’m not afraid of ghosts, but they do give me the heebie-jeebies. 2. What do you call a ghost who walks around with a hammer looking for a nail? A spirit carpenter. 3. Why don’t ghosts ever lie? Because you can see right through them! 4. What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? Booberries. …
Flood Puns I wanted to go white water rafting, but the river was too high, so I guess I’ll just have to settle for a flood activity. The heavy rains caused the river to rise so high, it was an utterly dam mess. After the storm, my backyard was completely underwater. You could say it …
Falling Puns I tried to catch some fog earlier, but I mist. My friend broke his arm after falling off a ladder. I told him to be more carefall next time. Did you hear about the guy who fell into the upholstery machine? He’s fully recovered now. I slipped on the stairs today and had …
Class Clown Puns 1. I tried to pay attention in class, but I just couldn’t focus. My mind wanders. 2. My teacher told me I’m failing history class. I guess I should start studying more about the past. 3. I brought my pet hamster to school for show and tell. The teacher said rodents weren’t …
Church Puns 1. Why was the church service so long? The pastor had a lot of mass to get through. 2. Why did the pastor install wheels on the church pews? He wanted to keep his congregation rolling. 3. Why was the church choir so quiet during practice? They were trying not to raise the …
Canada Puns (15) 1. I heard Canada has a new position open in the government. They are looking for an Apologizer General. 2. Why did the Canadian bring an extra pair of pants golfing? In case he got a hole in one! 3. What do you call a Canadian vampire? A Maple Sucker. 4. Why …