Weather Puns 1. I wanted to enjoy the sunny weather, but it was overcast with clouds. 2. The weatherman said there was a 50% chance of rain today, but 100% of the rain fell on me! 3. I asked my friend how the weather was, he said it was raining cats and dogs. I said …
Brian Johnson
Trombone Puns 1. What do you call a trombone player who keeps skipping rehearsals? A slide dodger! 2. Why was the trombone player always running late to gigs? They had a hard time keeping up with the tempo! 3. How does a trombone player keep their instrument from getting stolen? They put a lock on …
Chicken Cross The Road Puns (10) 1. Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken! 2. Why did the chicken cross the road twice? He wanted to do it again! 3. Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? He wanted to stretch his legs! 4. Why did the frozen chicken …
Pee Puns 1. I was going to tell a urine joke, but I decided to just let it flow. 2. My friend was bragging that he could hold his pee for hours. I told him not to make it a wee-ality competition. 3. Did you hear about the new restaurant called P? Their signature dish …
Cinco De Mayo Puns (15) 1. I wanted to make a pun about Cinco de Mayo, but my margarita couldn’t think of one. 2. What do you call a Cinco de Mayo party with no tequila? A sinco de sad-o. 3. Why was the Cinco de Mayo party so chaotic? It was mayhem. 4. Why …
Hockey Puns 1. I tried to ice skate, but it was a puck-le. 2. I was going to tell a hockey joke but decided to pass. 3. What do you call a hockey player in a phone booth? Claustrophobic! 4. My friend got hit in the head with a hockey puck. Luckily it was just …
Porcupine Puns 1. I wanted to give my porcupine a hug, but I was worried he would be a little prickly about it. 2. My friend got quills stuck in his hand after trying to pet a porcupine. I told him he should have known better than to poke that bear! 3. I saw a …
French Fries Puns 1. I ordered some French fries but they came without a passport. Guess they were fried illegally! 2. My friend got injured at the French fry factory. He said it was because of grease burns. 3. I entered my French fry sculpture in an art competition. Sadly, it didn’t make the cut. …
Stock Market Puns (20) 1. I wanted to invest in a hedge fund but all the good ones have been trimmed. 2. My stockbroker told me to diversify but I’m not sure how swimming will help my portfolio. 3. I asked my friend how his stocks were doing and he said, “They’ve been up and …
Soda Can Puns (15) 1. What do you call an empty soda can that gets into a fight? A soda can-didate! 2. Why was the soda can unhappy at the party? It felt soda pressed. 3. Did you hear about the new flavored soda called Knights? Its can-a-lot! 4. Did you hear about the soda …