Stapler Puns I was going to make a joke about staplers, but it was pointless. My stapler identifies as a paper fastener. Who am I to label it? What do you call a lazy stapler? A stableapler! Why can’t staplers join the army? They lack combat training. What do you call a stapler that loves …
Brian Johnson
Game Controller Puns 1. I heard the new controller has state-of-the-art rumble packs. Sounds like it will be a real shake up! 2. The controller kept disconnecting from the console. I guess the relationship just didn’t have good joystick chemistry. 3. I spilled coffee all over my controller and now none of the buttons work. …
Vase Puns 1. I was going to make a flower pun, but I realized it would just fall flat. 2. What did the vase say to the other vase? We make quite the pair! 3. Why was the vase angry at its flowers? They kept giving it lip. 4. My friend got me a vase …
Laundry Basket Puns (16) I was going to tell a joke about laundry baskets, but it would just come out dry. When the laundry basket started telling jokes, it had everyone in stitches. I entered my laundry basket into a comedy competition, but unfortunately all its jokes fell flat. Did you hear about the laundry …
Treadmill Puns 1. I was going to buy a treadmill, but I’m not sure if I should invest in all that running gear. 2. My new year’s resolution was to use my treadmill more. You could say I’m trying to turn over a new belt. 3. I put my treadmill in front of the TV …
Mug Puns 1. I bought a mug that says “World’s Best Dad” on it, but I never use it because I don’t have any kids. It just sits in my cupboard collecting dust. What a waste of mug-ney. 2. My friend got really mad when I accidentally broke his favorite mug. I told him to …
File folder Puns I asked my friend if he wanted to organize his papers, but he said he didn’t want to get foldered into anything right now. My wife said I had too many file folders lying around the house. I told her to stop flapping her folder about nothing! I entered my tabby cat …
Soup Puns 1. I’m really into fitness. I like to fit this whole pot of soup into my mouth. 2. What do you call an angry bowl of soup? A stew-pendous tantrum! 3. Why was the vegetable soup so upset? It was in a bad mood! 4. Want to hear a joke about pizza? Nevermind, …
Salad Puns 1. Lettuce turnip the beet on these salad puns! 2. Orange you glad I didn’t say banana? That would have been a fruitless salad pun. 3. What do you call a sad salad? Blue cheese. 4. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing! 5. What do you call a …
Bald Puns 1. I heard two bald men got into a fight. It was a battle of head-butts. 2. The bald man entered a hair stylist contest ironically. He didn’t have a strand of a chance. 3. Did you hear about the new TV show about bald people? It’s called No Hair Apparent. 4. I …