July Puns (10) 1. I wanted to throw a big Fourth of July party, but nobody RSVP’d. I guess my invitations weren’t Independence Day-pendable. 2. Why did the hot dog get arrested on the Fourth of July? It was caught selling illegal fireworks! 3. My friend got heat stroke at the July 4th barbecue. I …
Angela Rodriguez
September Puns 1. I wanted to make a joke about the start of September, but I figured I should autumn to someone else. 2. My friend got offended when I made a joke about the beginning of September. I guess it was a fall too soon. 3. I entered a pun contest about September, but …
Old Lady Puns What do you call an old lady who sits around knitting all day? An old needlewoman! Why did the old lady bring her rocking chair with her on vacation? She wanted to rock the resort! What do you call an elderly woman who sells flowers and plants? A grand-ma in the garden. …
Finger Puns 1. I’m not going to point any fingers, but someone took my donut. 2. The criminal tried to finger someone else for the crime, but his fingerprints were all over the scene. 3. I asked the birthday boy how old he was turning, but he just gave me the finger. 4. I entered …
Gnome Puns 1. What do you call a gnome who is an expert on plants? A gnome-ologist! 2. Why was the gnome so tired when he got home from work? He was exhausted from gnome improvement all day. 3. Why don’t gnomes ever pay full price when they go shopping? They always gnome the owner …
Pear Puns 1. What did the pear say when it slipped and fell? Oh my gosh, I bruise easily! 2. Why was the pear sad? It had a pair of blues. 3. How does a pear get to work every day? It takes the fruit bus. 4. What did the pear say to the banana? …
Turtle Puns 1. What do you call a turtle who loves to read? A bookworm! 2. Why don’t turtles ever play games together? They prefer to shell-ebrate alone. 3. What’s a turtle’s favorite type of shoes? Shell-toes! 4. Why don’t turtles believe in volunteering? Because they like to shell-ish all their time for themselves. 5. …
Shoe Puns 1. I wanted to make puns about shoes, but none of them really tied together. 2. What do you call shoes made from a rubber tree? Sneakers! 3. Why are slippers so lazy? They shuffle around all day. 4. My friend got in trouble for cheating on a test. I guess he should …
Mother’s Day Puns (25) 1. I wanted to get my mom something very special for Mother’s Day. I decided to get her a bouquet of flowers made out of $100 bills. I guess you could say I got her 100 bouquets! 2. My mom loves antiques, so for Mother’s Day I got her a 165-year-old …
Mailman Puns (15) 1. I heard the mailman got a new job delivering pizzas. I guess he wanted to branch out into food delivery after getting his fill of mail delivery. 2. My mailman friend was telling me about his plans to go backpacking across Europe this summer. I said, “That sounds like a stamp …