Being asked to be a bridesmaid is a significant honor, as your friend is entrusting you with a special role on her wedding day. This privilege comes with certain expectations, and it’s essential to strike a balance between supporting your friend and setting realistic boundaries. While it’s unrealistic to expect you to drop everything for late-night floral consultations or splurge on an expensive dress that will likely collect dust, being a good bridesmaid means being available to lend a helping hand, showing genuine interest in the wedding planning process, and throwing an unforgettable bachelorette party. If you’re unsure what’s expected of you in this role, we’ve distilled it down to 10 essential commandments for being your friend’s rockstar bridesmaid in the lead-up to her big day.
Be Interested
Your friend’s excitement about their big day is palpable, and it’s likely they’re eager to share their plans with you. However, the stereotype of ‘bridezillas’ has led many brides-to-be to feel hesitant about discussing their wedding details, fearing others might view it as selfish or dull. By actively encouraging your friend to open up, asking thoughtful questions, and showing genuine interest in their choices – from stationery fonts to dress styles and catering options – you can help them feel more at ease sharing their thoughts and feelings. This approach will not only bring you closer together but also allow your friend to appreciate the value of having a supportive ear.
But Talk About Other Things Too
When engaging in conversations with the bride-to-be, it’s essential to strike a balance between discussing her upcoming nuptials and exploring other aspects of her life. After all, she may be feeling overwhelmed by the constant influx of wedding-related queries, causing her life to seem like it’s revolving solely around this one special day. To foster a more well-rounded connection, make sure to occasionally steer the conversation towards topics beyond wedding planning. This not only provides an opportunity for her to open up about other aspects of her life but also allows you to share your own experiences and interests.
The Perfect Shopping Buddy
When accompanying your best friend on a wedding dress shopping adventure, it’s essential to tread a delicate line between being supportive and offering constructive feedback. To avoid making any hasty comments that might deter your friend from trying on dresses she truly loves, take the time to review her Pinterest board or ask about her style preferences beforehand. This will help you better understand what she’s looking for in a dress. While it’s okay to suggest alternative styles that you think would complement her features, make sure not to dismiss her initial choices outright. If your friend does try on a dress that doesn’t quite suit her, gently point out why and offer alternatives that might be more flattering. Ultimately, remember that the goal is to help your friend find the perfect wedding dress that reflects her personal taste and style – not yours.
Fall into Line (A Little)
A few weeks ago, we discussed the mix-and-match bridesmaid trend, where individuality shines. Brides often have a specific aesthetic in mind for their big day, but sometimes that means forcing their bridesmaids into styles they don’t love. We believe it’s essential to consider your own style when choosing a dress, even if you’re given a color palette to work with. Maybe the shades of pink, blush, and taupe aren’t your thing, or perhaps you’re not a fan of dresses at all. In these cases, it’s crucial to strike a balance between respecting the bride’s vision while also being true to yourself. While it’s impossible to dictate every aspect of your appearance on the day – no heels that are too high, no hair dye that’s too drastic – when it comes to the dress, it’s just for one day, so it’s often better not to stress out your friend with conflicting expectations. As long as she doesn’t ask you to squeeze into something that’s three sizes too small, do your part and put on a smile alongside the dress.
Spoil Her
As your friend prepares to walk down the aisle, make sure to shower her with love and support in the lead up to her big day. From celebratory get-togethers to thoughtful gestures, there are plenty of ways to make her feel special. Whether it’s a bubbly-filled brunch or a stress-free shopping spree, use these moments to show your bride how thrilled you are for her. And don’t forget about the little things – like treating her to a relaxing facial or hosting a low-key BBQ with her partner. By doing so, you’ll be celebrating every step of their journey together, not just the one special day itself.
Throw Her Hen Party, Not Yours
The notion of an ideal bachelorette celebration often conjures up images of raucous nights filled with shots, flashing lights, and exotic dancers. However, the bride-to-be may have something entirely different in mind.
Consider what would make her perfect day, night, or weekend. It might be a tranquil getaway on a farm, a rejuvenating spa retreat, or even a slumber party filled with karaoke and camaraderie. By incorporating elements that resonate with her unique personality and style, you can curate a one-of-a-kind celebration that will leave her with unforgettable memories.
Make Yourself Useful
When supporting your friend during her wedding planning, a thoughtful approach is to take tasks off her plate rather than adding more responsibilities. This means going beyond simply offering assistance and getting specific about how you can help. For instance, you could offer to handle tasks like addressing and mailing invitations, steaming her dress on the big day, collecting boutonnieres from the florist, or preparing activity packs for the kids. By providing concrete examples of what you’re willing to do, you’ll be offering invaluable practical support that will make a significant difference in her stress levels and overall experience.
Go Team
When it comes to navigating relationships with fellow bridesmaids, it’s essential to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. While you may not have a prior connection with these women, they’re now an integral part of your wedding party. As such, make an effort to stay in touch throughout the planning process by setting up a group email or messaging thread. This will help keep everyone informed and on the same page. Moreover, consider collaborating on a pre-wedding celebration like a bridal shower or hen party – this can be a fantastic opportunity for bonding and creating lasting memories. Above all, strive to maintain a positive and respectful attitude towards your fellow bridesmaids, even when it feels challenging to do so.