Virginia Puns
- Why did the Virginian cross the road? To get to the other side!
- What do you call someone from Virginia who loves to read? A Virginia bookworm!
- My friend from Virginia is addicted to eating spicy southwest food. I guess you could say he likes a little Virginia chili!
- I heard Virginia recently legalized marijuana. Things are about to get a little Hazy in the Old Dominion!
- Did you hear about the new diet craze in Virginia? It’s called the Richmond Veggie Diet!
- Why are Virginians so good at hide and seek? They’ve had a lot of practice hiding their family moonshine stills!
- How do you know if someone is from Virginia? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you!
- Did you hear that Virginia is changing its nickname from the Old Dominion to the Sold Dominion? Apparently everything is for sale there now!
- Why did the Virginian bring extra gloves with him when he went golfing? In case he got a hole in one!
- My friend moved from New York to Virginia and keeps bragging about the lower taxes. I guess you could say he’s in Love with VA!
Virginia One-Liners
- I went to Virginia once. It was alright, nothing special.
- Virginia is for lovers… of mediocre states!
- Virginia: Where exciting things come to die.
- Virginia, the state that wishes it were West Virginia.
- Virginia: America’s 6 out of 10 state.
- When I die, bury me in Virginia. That way I’ll never age!
- Virginia: Life moves just a little bit slower here… like molasses slow.
- Virginia, where dreams go for an early bedtime.
- Virginia: Well, it could be worse I guess?
- Virginia is about as interesting as a bowl of plain oatmeal.
Best Virginia Jokes
21. What do you call a Virginia family reunion? A slack-jawed convention.
22. How do you know someone’s from Virginia? They have a family tree that doesn’t branch.
23. Did you hear about the new NASCAR track they built in Virginia? It’s just a dirt road that goes around in circles.
24. Where was the toothbrush invented? Virginia – if it had been anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
25. Why couldn’t the Virginian kid see the pirate movie? Because it was rated ARRRR!
26. Did you hear about the fire at the University of Virginia library? Tragically both books were destroyed, and one hadn’t even been colored in yet.
27. What’s the Virginia state motto? “Virginia: We don’t care how you did it up North.”
28. Why don’t Virginians do reverse cowgirl? Because you never turn your back on family.
29. Why did the Virginian cross the road? He couldn’t get his cousin out of the chicken coop.
30. Why do folks in Virginia go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more? Because 17 and under are not admitted.
31. Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Virginia? It was because the sole generator was being used to cook meth.
32. Why did University of Virginia disband their water polo team? Because the horses kept drowning.
33. What do a Virginia tornado and a Virginia divorce have in common? Somebody’s fixin’ to lose a trailer.
34. Did you hear about the new Virginia-themed restaurant? It only serves possum and roadkill.
35. Why do folks in Virginia love Halloween so much? It’s the one night of the year they can go to someone else’s house for dinner.
36. Why did the Virginian politician refuse a bribe? Because it wasn’t from a close relative.
37. Why do Virginians wear slip-on shoes? Because with Velcro, they’re stumped.
38. Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory in Virginia? There was nothing left but de Brie.
39. Did you hear about the new sitcom set in Virginia? It’s called “He’s The Cousin She’s The Cousin.”
40. Why are weddings so cheap in Virginia? Because all the guests are related so you can have just one big table.