Teeth Puns (15)
1. I heard the dentist was arrested recently for dealing drugs. I guess he was a meth dealer!
2. My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like, I know, right? It’s about time I was treated like royalty!
3. Did you hear about the dentist who married the manicurist? I heard they fight tooth and nail.
4. Why don’t ants get cavities? Because they have anty-toothpaste!
5. My dentist is so weird. He has a plaque on every surface of his office.
6. I asked my dentist if tooth decay was genetic. He said it was probably plaque.
7. Did you hear about the sensitive dentist? He takes everything to heart.
8. Why did the dentist get angry at his assistant? She kept giving him attitude, and he couldn’t stand her incisor subordination.
9. My dentist told me to stop using my electric toothbrush because it was causing gum recession. I was brushing my teeth with it at the time and said, “Yeah, I’m still working on my floss addiction first.”
10. I’m flossin’ it. Flossin’ it. Baby I’m flossin’ it. I got them dentist blues.
11. My dentist tried to tell me that brushing too hard can damage my gums. But I didn’t listen. You know what they say, some floss their lesson the hard way.
12. What do you call a dentist who graduated at the bottom of their class? A medi-ocre.
13. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
14. Someone stole all the sinks from the dentist’s office last night. Police are looking for the culprit and say there are no leads yet, but they’re hopeful the perp will come to the surface soon.
15. What do you call a dentist who doesn’t accept new patients? Dr. Nofillings!
Teeth One-Liners (10)
16. I was at the dentist and he said, “This will hurt a little.” So I said, “Okay, I’ll do the same to you when you’re least expecting it.”
17. I asked the dentist if I could listen to music during my root canal, and he said “Sure, I’ll drill a hole for your headphones.”
18. My dentist told me to stop eating so much sugar or I’d need dentures one day. I told him, “Yeah, I’m still chewing on that advice.”
19. I told my dentist that people are scared of the dentist because of needles and drills. He said, “I’m not scared of going to the dentist.” I told him, “That’s because you’re a sadist.”
20. I go to the dentist every six months. He’s a nice guy, although he hits me sometimes.
21. I asked my dentist how much a tooth extraction would cost, he said, “It’s like pulling teeth to get a straight answer out of me.”
22. I told my dentist we need to stop meeting like this. People will talk.
23. My dentist asked me how I was doing. I said, “I’m in a bit of a hole financially.” He chuckled and said, “Don’t worry, the cavity we’re drilling today is on the house.”
24. I asked my dentist if he charges extra for laughing gas. He said, “There’s no such thing as laughing gas, I just tell funny jokes.”
25. My dentist said, “This will hurt a bit” so I said, “Could you give me the number of someone it wouldn’t hurt?”
Best Teeth Jokes (20)
26. A man walked into a dentist’s office and said, “I think I’m a moth.” The dentist replied, “You shouldn’t be here, you should be seeing a psychiatrist instead.” The man replied, “I know, I was on my way there but I saw your light on.”
27. Did you hear about the dentist who married the manicurist and they fought tooth and nail? Well, soon after, the dentist found out his hygienist had a crush on him too and was completely FLOSS-STRATED. The hygienist asked, “Do you have FIL-INGS for me?” The dentist replied, “I’m not the ROOT of your problems.”
28. A woman went to the dentist and after he finished working on her teeth, she asked, “So doc, will I be able to play the piano after this?” The dentist replied, “Of course you can.” The woman said, “Wow that’s great, I never could before!”
29. Why don’t skeletons ever go to the dentist? Because they don’t have any teeth!
30. Did you hear about the electrician who stole all the toilets from the police station? The cops have absolutely nothing to go on.
31. A man woke up one morning with a terrible toothache, so he found a dentist and made an emergency appointment. The dentist examined his tooth and said, “Well, it looks like you need a root canal.” The man asked, “Isn’t there any other alternative? That sounds really painful.” The dentist said, “There is one alternative… we take out the tooth.” The man said, “OK great, let’s do that then.” The dentist replied, “Alright, we’ll do the root canal.”
32. Why don’t ants get cavities? Because they have anty-toothpaste!
Did you hear about the award they’re giving to comfort aching teeth? It’s called the Noble Peach Prize!
33. Did you hear about the dentist who went on a tropical vacation and sent pictures to his patients? He wanted to rub it in their faces that he was on an expensive vacation while they were sitting in his dental chair in pain. His patients thought he was just being insenthitive.
34. Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish!
35. My dentist told me I was brushing too hard and it was wearing down my enamel. I told him, “Hard to say, I’m not enamel the facts.”
36. Did you hear about the sensitive dentist that fell into the bucket of ice water? He took it really hard.
37. Why don’t sharks like to swim with other fish? Because they’re afraid of getting finned!
38. Why did 10 have to see the dentist? Because it needed a root canal!
39. What happens to a frog’s car if it breaks down? It gets toad!
40. Did you hear about the monster with all the teeth? It was a molarbear!
41. Why are false teeth like stars? Because they come out at night!
42. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they’d crack each other up!
43. My dentist pulled out my wisdom teeth today. She said I probably won’t miss them because apparently I don’t use them much anyway!
44. What do you call someone who is afraid of teeth? A den-teeth-phobic!
45. Why don’t teeth make good morning show hosts? Because they can’t handle the daily grind!
