Mug Puns
1. I bought a mug that says “World’s Best Dad” on it, but I never use it because I don’t have any kids. It just sits in my cupboard collecting dust. What a waste of mug-ney.
2. My friend got really mad when I accidentally broke his favorite mug. I told him to keep his handle on the situation and not overreact.
3. I was mugged the other day. The thief stole my favorite coffee mug and all the change I had in my pockets. The police told me they would keep an eye out for any suspicious looking thugs carrying around a mug full of coins.
4. I like using punny mugs. It helps me express my unique sense of mug-mor.
5. I bought a mug that says “Plan Ahead” on it. What an odd message to put on a mug. Do people really need to be reminded to plan ahead…while drinking their morning coffee?
6. I’m so annoyed that my favorite diner got rid of all their fun, creative mugs and now just uses plain boring ones. Talk about a major mug-grade!
7. I accidentally chipped my favorite mug that says “Coffee Keeps Me Sane” on it. I was upset at first but then realized the chip makes it look like it says “offee Keeps Me Sane” which somehow feels even more relatable.
8. My friend is obsessed with mugs and has over 100 of them. I told her she needs to seek some mug-diction help.
9. I dropped and shattered my favorite cat mug. It was a cat-astrophic mess to clean up.
10. I bought a mug that says “Best Boss Ever” on it to give to my boss as a gift. I hope she thinks the mug is amoozing.
11. My favorite diner got new mugs that say “Coffee Makes Mornings Better” on them. I don’t drink coffee though, so for me the mugs should really say “Hot Chocolate Makes Mornings Better.”
12. I accidentally put my favorite mug in the dishwasher and now the print is fading. I’m so mug-gry with myself for ruining it!
Mug One-Liners
13. I’m very protective of my favorite mug – you could say I’m mug-territorial.
14. This coffee tastes horrible and now my favorite mug is ruined – talk about adding in-mug-ry to insult.
15. I dropped my mug this morning and now I’m having a crappy day – that’s just how the cookie mug-mbles sometimes.
16. My mug collection is out of control – it seems I have a prob-mug-lem on my hands.
17. This coffee shop has the worst mugs – chipped, stained and just plain ugly. What a mug-ly selection.
18. I need my morning coffee in my favorite mug to function – it’s my daily mug-vitational.
19. I’m so upset that my favorite mug broke, it was like losing a dear mug- friend.
20. This cheap diner only has basic mugs, nothing fun or clever – what a mug-opportunity missed.
21. I dropped and shattered my favorite mug this morning – talk about a case of the mug-days.
22. My friend drinks 6 cups of coffee a day, she’s definitely mug-addicted.
23. I’m so possessive of my favorite mug, I won’t even let my wife use it – I mug-hog it all to myself.
24. This coffee tastes horrible, and now my favorite mug is ruined too – today is just mug-strous.
25. I’m so annoyed my coworker used my favorite mug and now it’s gone missing – the mug-acity of some people!
26. I have no clean mugs left because my roommate never does dishes – living with him is a mug-mare.
27. I dropped and shattered my favorite cat mug this morning – it was a cat-mug-strophe!
Best Mug Jokes
28. I asked the waitress for a coffee mug refill but she said they were all out of clean mugs. Guess the dishwasher called in mug today.
29. My wife is obsessed with collectible coffee mugs and our kitchen cabinets are overflowing with them. I tried to organize them once and she freaked out, saying “Don’t touch my mugs!” I guess some people are just really possessive of their mug collections.
30. I was running late to work and went to grab my coffee mug only to realize my husband had left it in the sink dirty. I yelled upstairs “Can’t you at least rinse out a mug when you’re done??” He responded “Make me!” Ugh, men can be so juvenile when it comes to cleaning.
31. My office is having a contest for the ugliest holiday mug design. I plan to submit one with Santa Claus drinking eggnog out of a toilet. That ought to clinch the title of mug-liest mug!
32. I accidentally left my favorite coffee mug on top of my car when driving to work. When I arrived, I realized it had shattered everywhere all over the highway during my drive. Let’s just say coffee didn’t help my mood that morning after having to clean up a highway full of my favorite broken mug.
33. My sister is obsessed with coffee mugs and has hundreds of them on display in her kitchen. It’s so annoying trying to wash dishes at her place – there’s barely room with all the mugs everywhere! She claims they “spark joy” but I think she just has a mug addiction.
34. I was running late to an important meeting at work when I spilled hot coffee all over my shirt thanks to the cheap paper mugs in our office kitchen. Nothing like showing up late smelling like a walking coffee filter! Our office really needs to invest in some better mugs.
35. My dad refuses to let anyone else use his favorite coffee mug. If you make the mistake of touching it, he’ll yell “That’s MY mug! Hands off!” My mom keeps saying she’s going to hide it just to teach him a lesson about sharing.
36. I accidentally dropped my sister’s one-of-a-kind cat mug that her friend made by hand. She totally flipped out even though I offered to buy her a new one. Some people get so strangely attached to their coffee mugs!
37. Whenever I complain to my wife that she never unloads the dishwasher she retorts, “If you want a clean mug then run it yourself!” I know relationships take compromise but unloading dishwashers shouldn’t be one-sided.
38. I finally convinced my mug-hoarding mom it was time to donate some of her excessive coffee mug collection to charity. She agreed under one condition – that we label them “vintage” instead of just old. Moms will do anything to avoid parting with their precious mugs!
39. I saw a job posting for a “Mug Wrangler” at an office. The description said their only duty would be collecting all the stray coffee mugs left around the office. I didn’t realize mug wrangling was an actual job, but it seems like an easy way to get paid for doing almost nothing!
40. I told my husband if he insists on using my favorite mug without asking then I get to choose which gaming console we buy next. Sometimes you have to resort to mug-gotiating when they won’t compromise!
41. My friend’s bizarre coffee mug collection has taken over her entire kitchen. There are so many that she can never find a matching lid for any of them. At least if she ever needs an emergency rubber band, she knows where to look.
42. I saw a job posting for “Chief Mug Strategist” at an office. I assumed it was a joke title but it turned out they really expected that person to oversee procurement of all company mugs and liaise with mug vendors. I think I found my dream job!
43. My coworker yelled at me for using his Darth Vader mug even though all the mugs in the office kitchen are communal. I apologized but told him it’s ridiculous to get worked up over office mugs – it leads straight to the dark side.
44. I finally convinced my girlfriend that her out of control coffee mug collection was getting to be a bit much. She agreed to get rid of 10 mugs but replaced them with 15 new seasonal ones instead. At least she’s making progress?
45. My husband accused me of stealing his favorite coffee mug. I denied it but then he found it buried in the depths of my overcrowded mug cabinet. I really need to stop mug napping from his collection.
46. I accidentally dropped and shattered my sister’s one-of-a-kind cat mug that her friend painted. I felt pawful and offered to buy her a new one but she said I could never replace her precious mug. Some people get very attached to their cat mugs!
47. My boyfriend leaves used coffee mugs all over the house and it drives me nuts. When I complain he just responds, “But I always come back for my mugs eventually!” as if that makes it acceptable. I’m at my wit’s end with his mug tardiness habits.
48. My coworker is completely delusional about her coffee mug collecting hobby. She insists her Mr. T mug will fund her retirement one day. I don’t have the heart to tell her that a chipped Mr. T mug won’t be worth millions.
49. I finally convinced my girlfriend to pare down her huge coffee mug collection after explaining we had more mugs than days in a year. She agreed to get rid of 3 whole mugs. I guess with mug hoarders every little bit helps!
50. My wife is obsessive about no one but her using her favorite coffee mug. I once accidentally grabbed it and she hissed at me like a cat protecting its territory. I knew not to come between a woman and her favorite mug after that.
51. My friend collects coffee mugs shaped like butts. She has giant mugs and tiny ones, all shaped exactly like rear ends. My favorite is the one shaped like a flabby grandma butt—it really captures the essence of a saggy behind.
52. I once grabbed my wife’s favorite cat mug without thinking. She freaked out on me saying, “That’s only for special occasions!” Now I know better than to come between her and her beloved cat mug at the wrong time.
53. My girlfriend said I could get one shelf in our mug cabinet for my collection and the rest were for her mugs. I tried to argue but she threw her cat mug at me and said the “discussion” was over. Happy wife, happy life I guess.