Movie Puns
1. I heard they’re making a movie about clocks. It’s about time!
2. I tried to watch a double feature at the theater, but after the first movie I was done watching films for awhile. I needed a cinematic break.
3. Did you hear about the new superhero movie coming out? It’s called Wonder Twin Powers Activate! Form of…a box office flop!
4. I heard they’re making a sequel to that movie about the polymers. It’s going to be called Polymer 2: Chain Reaction.
5. Why did the movie star get arrested? He had an outstanding cameo.
6. Why couldn’t the movie make it to the end credits? It got cut short.
7. I asked the usher if the new zombie movie was any good. He said it was dead on arrival.
8. Did you see that movie about electrical conductors? It had some shocking plot twists!
9. I heard they’re making a sequel to that racing movie. It’s called Fast and Furiouser.
10. Why was the director unhappy with the dailies? There were too many outtakes.
11. The director tried to quit smoking while filming his new movie. But he just couldn’t kick the habit cold turkey.
12. Why did the actress get cut from the heist film? She couldn’t steal the scene.
Movie One-Liners
13. I tried to watch a 24-hour movie marathon, but it was just too long of a commitment.
14. Just saw a movie about paint drying. It had a clever plot.
15. Just watched a really scary horror film. It gave me the chills and thrills.
16. I saw an artsy foreign film yesterday. There were subtitles and everything.
17. Watched a movie about chess yesterday. It was an intense game of cat and mouse.
18. Just saw a movie with a big plot twist. Didn’t see it coming!
19. Went to go see an action movie yesterday. Stuff blew up and everything.
20. Saw a romantic comedy last night. There was laughter, tears, and I’m pretty sure they fell in love.
21. Watched a movie about aliens invading earth. It was out of this world.
22. Just watched a movie about race car drivers. They went really fast.
Best Movie Jokes
23. I was watching a movie with my friend the other day. About halfway through, he turned to me and said, “Have you seen this movie before?” I replied, “No, why?” He said, “Well, it feels like I’m watching a rerun.”
24. My friend invited me over to watch a movie he claimed was the scariest one ever made. About 15 minutes in, I wasn’t scared at all, so I said “This isn’t that scary.” My friend looked at me and said, “Just keep watching, it gets really scary at the end when we find out the movie is three hours long.”
25. I was on a first date and suggested we watch a romantic comedy. My date said she doesn’t really like rom-coms. I asked why not and she said, “Because they set up unrealistic expectations…two people meet, hate each other at first, have some silly outside conflict keeping them apart then after some big dramatic gesture end up together? Please.” I responded, “Well, what movie do you want to watch then?” She said, “Pretty much anything else.”
26. My kids wanted to watch Despicable Me but the DVD was scratched and it stopped playing midway through the movie. They were really upset until I said, “Well at least we made it to the Minions.”
27. I watched half of a scary movie with my friend last night when he suddenly paused it and said, “I can’t do this anymore, it’s giving me too much anxiety.” I told him to just stick it out for 10 more minutes and he’d be fine. He asked how I could be sure of that and I said, “Trust me, I’ve seen the runtime, the credits start rolling in 10 minutes.”
28. I was on a packed flight and the inflight movie was The Lion King. When the opening “Circle of Life” scene started, I heard the guy behind me whisper to his seatmate, “Wow, these live action remakes are getting out of hand.”
29. My friend wanted to watch the latest Marvel movie with me despite the fact that she hadn’t seen any of the previous 20 films. I tried explaining she’d be completely lost without the proper context. She insisted she’d be able to follow along. We get 30 minutes in and she turns to me, totally perplexed, and goes “wait, so which one is Marvel?”
30. My kids sat me down and said, “Dad, we need to talk about your snacking habits when we watch movies as a family.” I replied, “Whaaat? I don’t know what you mean.” They then pulled out a detailed chart tracking my snack consumption during the past five Disney movies we watched. I took one look and said, “Well, the data doesn’t lie.”
31. I finally convinced my wife to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy with me. After the first movie, she turned to me and said, “That was pretty good, but kinda long. Is the second one shorter?” I stifled a laugh and said, “Yeah, the next two are only about 30 minutes each.” She believed me. Three hours into The Two Towers I thought she was going to kill me. Worth it though.
32. My kids wanted to have a family movie night so I let them pick the film. They chose The Emoji Movie. Ten minutes in I paused it, looked at them very seriously, and said “You know we don’t actually have to keep watching this, right?”
33. I recently watched a horror movie that tried so hard to be scary, but it was just atrocious. I felt bad for the director, so I emailed him saying “I just wanted to say, ‘A’ for effort!”
34. I was on a packed flight when Pacific Rim started playing as the inflight movie. A few minutes in, a little kid shouted “Mommy, make the monsters go away, they’re too scary!” The mom tried calming her kid down by saying “Don’t worry honey, it’s just a silly movie, those monsters aren’t real.” From a few rows behind I heard someone yell “That’s what they want you to think!”
35. My friend said he just saw the craziest thriller ever that had him on the edge of his seat the entire time. I asked what made it so thrilling and he said “I was sitting next to a guy who kept kicking my seat.”
36. I recently watched a really artsy indie film. After it ended, I just sat there in silence trying to process it. The friend I saw it with said “So…it was basically just three hours of a sad guy staring out a window, right?” I replied “Shhh! You just don’t get it…”
37. My wife fell asleep watching a movie with me so I turned off the TV and waited until she woke up. When she opened her eyes I said “Well, that was a great movie huh?” She groggily replied “Oh yeah…really great…” I waited a few seconds before bursting out laughing.
38. I was on a flight and they were playing Dumb and Dumber. About halfway through, I heard an exasperated sigh behind me. I turned around to see a guy looking extremely annoyed. He noticed me looking and said “Ugh, I’ve seen this so many times. Those two idiots just never learn!”
39. I recently introduced my kids to Star Wars. Watching their little minds get blown when they heard Darth Vader tell Luke he’s his father was amazing. After the movie, my son said “Dad, I can’t believe you didn’t spoil that for us!” I answered “Come on…who would be crazy enough to ruin such an iconic movie moment!?”
40. I finally convinced my wife to watch all the Rocky movies with me. After we finished the last one she shook her head and said “Let me get this straight – the entire franchise is just about some guy who keeps fighting people, loses, gets punched in the face a bunch, and never learns when to quit?” I looked at her excitedly and yelled “Yes, isn’t it great!?”
41. I watched The Sixth Sense again the other day and realized something – that movie really loses its impact after the first viewing. I mean once you know Bruce Willis is actually
42. I recently saw a movie that tried so hard to have a big plot twist at the end, but it was so obvious what was coming. I was able to whisper what the twist would be to my friend right before it happened. He said “Whoa…how did you know?” I answered “Because I’ve seen about a million movies before.”
43. I was watching Avengers: Endgame and of course crying my eyes out at Tony Stark’s dramatic death scene. When I noticed my teenage son was also getting emotional, I gently nudged him and said “It’s Iron Man, dummy.” He quickly straightened up and was like “Oh right, duh.” Dad win.
