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75 Hysterical Mother Jokes

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75 Hysterical Mother Jokes

Mother Puns

  1. I told my mom I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti, she replied, “That’s impastable!”
  2. My mom works at a pizza place and gets to bring home free pies every night. You could say she’s a mother with all the crust she can handle.
  3. Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.
  4. What do you call a mom who makes amazing pancakes? A pan-cake mother!
  5. My mom asked me to help her button up her coat, but I kept missing the holes. I guess I’m not the best at button up the mother.
  6. I told my mom I was going to write a book about clocks, she said, “About time!”
  7. Mom, can you please pass the pepper? Just a little sprinkle, mother.
  8. Mom, this roast chicken dinner is delicious! You’re such a cluckermother.
  9. Mom, I’m hungry! What’s for dinner mother?
  10. I asked my mom if I could have a snack before dinner. She said, “You’ll spoil your appetite, mother.”

Mother One-Liners

  1. My mom is so strict, she won’t even let me play cards in the house. She says she doesn’t allow gambling in her establishment.
  2. My mom loves cooking with wine. Sometimes she even puts it in the food.
  3. My mom says I’m the handsomest boy in the world. But then again, she’s obligated to say that because she’s my mother.
  4. They say mothers know best…mine knows everything before I say anything!
  5. My mom thinks vacuuming is just collecting dust. Literally.
  6. My mom says I have two left feet. But I don’t dance, so I don’t know what she’s talking about.
  7. If my mom laughs at a dad joke, does it make it a mother joke?
  8. My mom keeps complaining about the cost of living. I told her to just decline the upgrades.
  9. My mom says my puns make her cringe. I say they make her laugh…even if it’s reluctantly.
  10. My mom can turn any situation into a life lesson. Even cooking pancakes.

Best Mother Jokes

21. My mom and I were having dinner, when she said, “Pass the salt and pepper.” I replied, “Pepper, who’s Salt?” She just shook her head and said, “I should have seen that one coming.”

22. I asked my mom, “How come when dad tells a joke it’s corny but when you tell it, it’s funny?” She said, “That’s because your dad’s jokes need a little mother’s touch.”

23. Growing up, my mom always told me I was her precious little angel. Now that I have kids of my own, I realize just how much patience mothers have.

24. My teenage son was being difficult about doing his chores. When I threatened to ground him, he said, “You can’t ground me, I’m too old!” I said, “Watch me. I brought you into this world and I can take you out.” He started cleaning his room immediately.

25. My mom’s philosophy is that as a mother, she’s always right. As a daughter, I wholeheartedly agree. She’s definitely right about that.

26. What does a magician say to his mother on Mother’s Day? Sim Sala Bim, mother!

27. My mom is a really slow walker. I told her we should go for a walk together sometime but she said she wasn’t ready to race yet.

28. I asked my mom, “What rhymes with orange?” She said, “No it doesn’t.” I said, “What?” She replied, “Exactly.” Mothers always know best.

29. My mom is great at giving advice, even when you don’t ask for it. She’s like a walking magic 8 ball, full of motherly wisdom.

30. My mom is a master cleaner. She can spot a speck of dust from a mile away. Keeping a tidy house is her superpower.