Spongebob Puns
1. What do you call a sponge that absorbs too much water? A Sponge-blob!
2. Why was Spongebob sad after cleaning the kitchen? He felt like a dish-sponge.
3. Why did Spongebob get fired from his job at the car wash? He kept sponging off the customers.
4. What did the ocean say to Spongebob on his birthday? Sea you later!
5. Why can’t Spongebob keep a secret? He’s too porous.
6. Why did Spongebob cross the road? To get to the other sponge.
7. What do you call a tiny Spongebob? A sponge-let.
8. Why did Spongebob throw his clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
9. What do you call Spongebob wearing sandals? Flip-flops.
10. Why did the ocean get mad at Spongebob? He was too salty.
11. What happened when Spongebob told a joke to a piece of coral? The coral reef’d.
12. Why can’t you play cards with Spongebob? He’s always cheating.
13. What’s Spongebob’s favorite kind of tea? Seamiest.
14. What do you call Spongebob when he gets frozen? Ice sponge.
15. Why couldn’t Spongebob join the band? He kept dropping the sea-bass.
Spongebob One-Liners
16. I’m ready, I’m ready…to hear another Spongebob joke!
17. Krusty Krab? More like Crusty Crab!
18. Spongebob? More like Belongs-in-the-trash!
19. Patrick Star? More like Patrick Stop!
20. Bikini Bottom? More like Stinky Bottom!
21. Sandy Cheeks? More like Sandy Eeks!
22. Squidward Tentacles? More like Squidweird Smellacles!
23. Mr. Krabs? More like Mr. Crabs!
24. Plankton? More like Stinkton!
25. Gary the Snail? More like Scary the Fail!
26. Jellyfish Fields? More like Smellyfish Fields!
27. F.U.N. song? More like D.U.M.B. song!
28. Pineapple house? More like Pine-awful house!
29. Mrs. Puff? More like Mrs. Tough!
30. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy? More like Weird Man and Barnacle Annoy!
Best Spongebob Jokes
31. One day, Spongebob and Patrick decided to go jellyfishing. After catching a few jellyfish in their nets, Patrick turned to Spongebob and said, “Let’s make these jellyfish fight each other!” Spongebob looked shocked and replied, “No, Patrick, that would be wrong. These jellyfish are our friends!”
32. Squidward was practicing his clarinet like he does every day after work. He was completely absorbed in playing a new piece he had been learning when suddenly he heard loud cheering and applause coming from outside. Annoyed at the interruption, Squidward went to his window and saw Spongebob and Patrick applauding his clarinet playing. “Wow Squidward, your music is so beautiful!” said Spongebob. Squidward just grumbled and closed the window.
33. One day Mr Krabs was being extra greedy about money. He even took Spongebob’s nickel that he was going to use to buy a candy bar. Spongebob was so upset that he wished Mr Krabs wasn’t so obsessed with money. Suddenly, a magical whale appeared and granted Spongebob’s wish. Mr Krabs suddenly didn’t care about money anymore. He started giving food away for free at the Krusty Krab and letting customers pay whatever they wanted. Although the customers were happy, the Krusty Krab soon went out of business without Mr Krabs running it properly. Spongebob learned an important lesson about being careful what you wish for!
34. Spongebob was excited for arts and crafts day at boating school. He had brought colored paper, glue, macaroni, and sparkles to make the best craft ever. But when he got there, Mrs Puff announced they would be doing mathematics instead of arts and crafts. Spongebob was so upset he started gluing macaroni and glitter all over his math worksheet! Mrs Puff wasn’t pleased but Spongebob thought his “math craft” was a masterpiece.
35. One day Gary the Snail told Spongebob he was tired of being a pet and wanted to live in the wild. Spongebob was very sad but he loved Gary too much to force him to stay. So he put Gary on a lettuce leaf, packed him a lunch of rotting fruit, and sent him off into the wilderness. Within an hour Gary was back, having realized how good he had it at Spongebob’s pineapple house!
36. Spongebob and Patrick heard about a new superhero movie coming out. They decided to make their own superhero movie using Sandy’s camera. Spongebob became “Absorbent Lad” with the power to soak up anything, while Patrick played “Elastic Pants Man” who could stretch his pants at will. Their movie was full of silly stunts and effects. Sandy watched their finished movie and said “That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen!” Spongebob and Patrick were crushed, but at least they had fun making it.
37. One day Spongebob was feeling lonely, so he decided to adopt a pet amoeba named Amy from the pet store. He carried her home in a jar, daydreaming about how much fun they would have together. But when he opened the jar, Amy crawled away as fast as she could. Spongebob realized that he might be coming on too strong. He would have to give Amy her space and get to know her slowly before they could really be friends.
38. Squidward was marching around town covered in bubbles for some reason. Spongebob popped up and said “Hey Squidward, nice costume!” Squidward yelled “This isn’t a costume, I accidentally used too much bubble bath this morning and now I’m stuck in these bubbles all day!” He grumpily marched away, leaving a trail of bubbles behind him. Spongebob shrugged and continued his walk to work.
39. One morning Spongebob woke up to find he was a rectangular prism instead of a square! He freaked out and said “I must have transformed into my 4-dimensional Quantum state alter ego over night!” He went around telling everyone he was Quantum Spongebob now. Finally Patrick told him “No, you just slept funny on your pillow and got a little lumpy.” Spongebob was relieved to still be regular old 3D Spongebob.
40. Spongebob and Patrick decided to enter Sandy’s science fair with a teleporter they had built themselves. They demonstrated it on Gary and he disappeared! But then Gary reappeared somewhere across town at the pet store. Their teleporter really worked! Mr Krabs saw this and made them teleport him straight to the bank. But when he reappeared, his clothes were gone! Spongebob realized he still had some bugs to work out.
41. One day Spongebob adopted a baby scallop to take care of. He named her Little Suzy Scallop and fed her scraps from his Krabby Patties after work each day. Everything was going great until Little Suzy Scallop got bigger and bigger, until she was larger than Spongebob’s whole house! Pearl said she would take Little Suzy to live at her place, where she would have more room to grow. Spongebob sadly said goodbye to the giant pet scallop but was glad Pearl would take good care of her.
42. Spongebob and Patrick were playing catch with a jellyfish one day. It was fun until the jellyfish got tired and stung Patrick. Then it wasn’t so fun anymore! Patrick ran home crying while Spongebob learned a lesson – wild jellyfish don’t really like being thrown around like balls.
43. One day Spongebob was late for boating school! He was pedaling as fast as he could when he ran over a banana peel and wiped out, flying off his bike into a giant clam’s mouth! The clam snapped shut with Spongebob trapped inside! He tried pushing the shell open and finally managed to stick his hand out and wave to Sandy for help. Sandy pried the clam open and helped Spongebob get to school, a little worse for wear but safe and sound.
44. Spongebob entered the Fry Cook Games with hopes of defending his title as winner. His first competition was the chocolate high dive, against tough opponents including the massive Fryclops. Spongebob managed to grease up the diving board with spatulas, sending the other fry cooks slipping into the hot fudge below while he executed a perfect swan dive! The judges awarded him maximum points, putting Spongebob in the lead to win!
45. Spongebob and Patrick found a magic lamp while fishing one day. When they rubbed it, a genie appeared! “You have three wishes,” he said. Patrick wished for a chocolate swimming pool, then Spongebob wished for a hundred Krabby Patties. When it came time for the third wish, the genie asked if they were sure they wouldn’t rather wish for something like world peace. But Spongebob and Patrick insisted on wishing for a bouncy castle, so that’s what the genie gave them!
46. One afternoon Spongebob and Sandy were competing to see who could blow the biggest bubble. No matter how hard Spongebob blew into his wand, Sandy’s bubble kept getting bigger. Soon her bubble grew to the size of a house and carried Sandy high up into the sky! Spongebob had to climb a very tall tree to pop the bubble and get her back down to earth safely.
47. Spongebob was super excited for the big Halloween party at the Krusty Krab. He put on his best wizard costume and made Gary a ghost costume too. But when they got to the restaurant, it was empty. Mr Krabs had forgotten to put up the decorations or tell anyone about the party. So Spongebob got to work decorating and calling people to invite them over, managing to still throw a spooktacular Halloween bash!
48. For arts and crafts day, Spongebob brought in his handwoven friendship bracelet to give to Patrick. But Patrick had gotten distracted and absentmindedly eaten his bracelet while waiting for class to start! Spongebob was upset at first but then laughed realizing Patrick must have thought the bracelet was some kind of tasty snack. He decided he’d just have to make his friend another one!
49. Spongebob and Sandy were exploring a deep sea trench when a giant squid appeared! Sandy tried karate chopping it but the squid wrapped its tentacles around her and dragged her into a cave. Spongebob sprang into action, squirting the squid with ketchup and mustard from the Krusty Krab until it released Sandy. The two friends then quickly escaped, agreeing this adventure had gotten a little too intense for their taste!
50. Spongebob was super excited to try out his new jellyfishing net. He saw a colorful jellyfish flutter by and swiped his net, but missed. He tried over and over, getting more and more frustrated each time. Finally, he took a deep breath and slowed down, carefully lining up his net. Success – he caught the jellyfish! Spongebob learned patience and focus are important when jellyfishing.
51. Spongebob and Patrick found Sandy’s rocket ship and decided to take it for a joyride while she was away. They strapped on helmets and pressed buttons at random until the rocket blasted off. They soared through space seeing planets and stars before crashing back down to earth. When Sandy got back, they had to explain the rocket-shaped crater in the ground. At least they had fun on their unauthorized space adventure!
52. Spongebob was rushing to the Krusty Krab but got caught in a huge traffic jam caused by some boat drag racers. With the road blocked, Spongebob had no way to get to work on time. Unless…he turned his bicycle into a jet ski and drove over the boats! He flew into the restaurant to deliver the Krabby Patties safe and sound. Next time Mr Krabs might think twice before denying Spongebob vacation days!
53. Spongebob was voted class president of boating school! On his first day in office he announced 10 additional recess periods, mandatory snack time, and reading comic books under your desk. But Principal Puff explained a class president doesn’t actually make the rules – they are just there to represent the student body. Spongebob had lots still to learn about leadership.
54. Spongebob entered a competition for fry cooking skill and speed. It was neck and neck between him and rival fry cook Jim. To pull ahead, Spongebob decided to juggle grilling patties, taking orders, and working the cash register all at once. He spun around the kitchen acing every task. But all the multitasking made him dizzy and he ended up cooking his shoes by mistake! Jim won this round, but Spongebob remained undefeated at the art of the Krabby Patty.
55. Spongebob saw Sandy looking glum and asked what was wrong. Sandy said she was home sick for Texas. To cheer her up, Spongebob brought a piece of her treedome, made Krabby Texan Patties, and played cowboy songs on his nose like a harmonica. Soon Sandy was square dancing and felt right at home, appreciating Spongebob for throwing her such a Texas-sized shindig.
56. Spongebob and Patrick found a magic seashell buried on the beach. Legend said it granted wishes, so they decided to test it out. Spongebob wished for a lifetime supply of ice cream. He got it, but then had no room in his freezer for anything else! Patrick wished to be the champion at every game. He did become the winner, but then had no one left to play with! They learned to be more careful what they wish for.
57. Plankton was about to steal the secret formula when Spongebob caught him. He tied Plankton up and gave him a long lecture on honesty. Plankton rolled his eye, managed to wiggle one arm free, and pushed Spongebob over as he made his escape. “Curses!” yelled Spongebob. “Foiled again by the notorious Dr. Plankton and his dastardly tricks!”
58. Spongebob loved his job as fry cook so much that he would sometimes sneak into the Krusty Krab at night to make Krabby Patties just for fun. One midnight Mr Krabs burst in, yelling about burglars stealing his secret formula. Then he saw it was just Spongebob in the kitchen, happily cooking up patties. Mr Krabs couldn’t stay too mad after eating one of those delicious illegal midnight snacks!
59. Spongebob was having a great day until he stubbed his toe on a rock. “OUCH!” he yelled. Then he stubbed his other toe. “FUDGE!” he hollered. Just then Gary meowed scoldingly at him. Spongebob apologized for his naughty language. Next time he would remember to say less offensive words like “Tartar sauce!” when he gets hurt.
60. Spongebob and Patrick were playing football but Patrick kept tackling everyone in sight. First Squidward, then a random fish, then Spongebob over and over. “Ok that’s it!” yelled Spongebob. He shoved Patrick and soon they were wrestling and pulling each other’s limbs out of place. Moral: Don’t let a friendly game get too rough!
61. One day Spongebob opened his closet to find all his clothes were gone! There was just a note left behind that said
