## Math Puns (20)

1. I’d tell you a joke about irrational numbers, but it just wouldn’t make sense.

2. Why was the geometry book sad? Because it had too many problems.

3. I heard a new restaurant called Trigonometry opened up. But they only serve pie.

4. The mathematician couldn’t find his cat. He went around the neighborhood putting up signs that said “Lost: One cat. Answers to the name x.”

5. Two mathematicians were arguing about whether a certain number was prime. It got so heated that the police had to be called to the scene. Luckily, they managed to factor the situation before it got out of hand.

6. I was struggling to calculate the area of a parallelogram so I decided to think outside the box.

7. I tried to catch fog yesterday but mist.

8. The dying mathematician refused to accept he had gone to the fourth dimension.

9. Parallel lines have so much in common but it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

10. Old mathematicians never die, they just lose some of their functions.

11. Calculus iseasy, it’s just the integrals that are hard.

12. The frustrated mathematician declared “I give up!” and angrily reversed his function.

13. Mathematicians like to sound hip by telling people they’re rad.

14. Old statisticians never die, they just get broken down by age.

15. Why do functions always have to wear formal clothes? Because the domain requires it.

16. Mathematicians have calculators to solve problems while the rest of us have to deal with it.

17. Have you heard about the new restaurant called “Plus/Minus”? People say the food is average but the portions add up.

18. My friend got angry when he failed the statistics test. But I told him not to mean about it.

19. Working as a statistician is great for meeting new people. I get tons of random samples.

20. The calculus professor who had no limits.

## Math One-Liners (15)

21. I’d tell you a Fibonacci joke, but it’s probably as bad as the last two you’ve heard.

22. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!

23. I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

24. Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

25. I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.

26. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying more than the asking pi.

27. Old mathematicians never die, they just lose some of their functions.

28. I heard Samsung is releasing a new smartphone for math lovers. It supposedly has great Pi.

29. The frustrated mathematician reversed his function after declaring “I give up!”

30. I used to hate math, but then I realized decimals have a point.

31. Why do functions always have to wear formal clothes? Because the domain requires it.

32. Statisticians do it discretely and with confidence.

33. Old statisticians never die, they just get broken down by age.

34. What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing, you can’t cross a vector with a scalar.

35. Why was the identity matrix so egotistical? Because it was all about ‘I’.

## Best Math Jokes (50)

36. A statistician told me I had an average sized family. I replied “Sorry, you can’t have 0.5 kids!”

37. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

38. Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time too.

39. I used to hate math, but then I realized decimals have a point.

40. Why do plants hate math? Because of all the square roots!

41. Why do math books always look so sad? Because they’re full of problems!

42. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.

43. I’m reading a great book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

44. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying more than the asking pi.

45. What does the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!

46. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!

47. Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

48. Old mathematicians never die, they just lose some of their functions.

49. I’d tell you a Fibonacci joke, but it’s probably as bad as the last two you’ve heard.

50. What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? You can’t cross a vector with a scalar.

51. Why was the geometry book always stressed out? Because it had too many problems.

52. I tried to catch fog yesterday but mist.

53. What’s the integral of 1/cabin? A log cabin.

54. Without geometry, life is pointless.

55. Old mathematicians never die, they just lose some of their functions.

56. Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

57. The dying mathematician refused to accept he had gone to the fourth dimension.

58. The calculus professor who had no limits.

59. I thought about going on an all-almond diet, but that’s just nuts!

60. Why do we let a=1? Because one is the loneliest number.

61. I questioned the numerator, but it refused to rationalize its behavior.

62. Why do functions like to wear tuxedos? Because the domain requires formal attire.

63. The frustrated mathematician reversed his function after declaring “I give up!”

64. Have you heard about the new restaurant called “Plus/Minus”? People say the food is average, but the portions add up.

65. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because it knew it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.

66. The dying Adrian mathematician refused to accept he had gone to the fourth dimension.

67. I tried explaining a tesseract to my friend, but there was just too much to unload.

68. Why do functions like to wear tuxedos? Because the domain requires formal attire.

69. What’s a polar bear’s favorite dessert? Ice cream cones!

70. Without geometry, life is pointless.

71. Old mathematicians never die, they just disintegrate.

72. Calculus is easy, it’s just the integrals that are hard.

73. Statisticians do it discretely and with confidence.

74. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because it knew it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.

75. The dying mathematician refused to accept he had gone to the fourth dimension.

76. I was struggling to calculate the area of a parallelogram so I decided to think outside the box.

77. Why do we let a=1? Because one is the loneliest number.

78. Have you heard about the new restaurant called “Plus/Minus”? People say the food is average but the portions add up.

79. I questioned the numerator, but it refused to rationalize its behavior.

80. Mathematicians have calculators to solve problems while the rest of us have to deal with it.

81. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because it knew it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.

82. Have you heard about the new math-themed restaurant called Irrational Roots? It serves square meals!

83. Why do functions like to wear tuxedos? Because the domain requires formal attire.

84. Without geometry, life is pointless.

85. Why was the circle crestfallen? Because it was a well-rounded individual with no angles.