Forest Puns (25)
1. What do you call a lost wolf in the woods? A where-wolf!
2. Why was the tree so good at hide and seek? It was great at tree-ing to stay hidden.
3. I wanted to tell a joke about leaves, but they all fell pretty flat.
4. How does a tree access the internet? They just log on.
5. What did the beaver say to the tree? It’s been nice gnawing you!
6. Why do trees seem suspicious? They seem kinda shady.
7. How do trees get online? They just log on.
8. What do you call a super sleepy forest? A nap pine forest!
9. Why was the pine tree so good at sewing? She was gifted with needles.
10. How did the willow tree get promoted at work? She really branched out and grew as an employee.
11. Why was the oak tree asked to leave the party? He was being obnoxious and kept getting sappy.
12. Why was the weatherman so frustrated during the storm? Because the forecast kept changing like the leaves on a tree!
13. Which tree is the most tech savvy? Spruce, they’re great with computers and stay up to date on all the latest spruceware.
14. What do you call an unpredictable forest? Unpre-dick-ta-bull!
15. Why are trees such good dancers? They have a natural rhythm and great roots.
16. How do trees access the internet? They just log on.
17. What did the oak tree say during the heatwave? Boy, it’s hot as bark out here!
18. Why do aspens quiver so easily? Because they quake in their boots!
19. How do trees get online? They log in.
20. What do you call a gridlocked forest? A traffic jam boree!
21. Why did the pine tree get in trouble at school? He was caught passing notes.
22. Which tree is the most confident? Spruce! They have great self-estreeem.
23. Why did the trees form a band? They wanted to branch out and try new things.
24. How do trees access the internet? They log on.
25. What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
Forest One-Liners (25)
26. I wanted to make a tree pun, but couldn’t think of any – guess I’ll just leaf it alone!
27. Trees that work in healthcare are called physicians firs.
28. What do trees do when they want to propose? They bend their roots!
29. Trees make great gossip partners because they’re known to spread lots of tales.
30. A tree’s biggest fear is getting debarked in public.
31. Trees aren’t so great at pulling practical jokes – most of their pranks really fall flat.
32. How do trees get from place to place? By root!
33. Trees aren’t that great at checkers since they always seem to get board.
34. What’s a tree’s favorite genre of music? R&Beech – they can’t get enough of those soulful grooves and sweet sap sounds.
35. How does a tree poet write? They use a pen, quill, and ink made from bark, sap and chlorophyll!
36. Trees make great rappers, they’ve got that natural flow and plenty of bark!
37. What’s a tree’s favorite type of humor? Dry, sarcastic wit – just like their sap!
38. Why don’t trees tell jokes when it’s windy? They don’t want their punch lines to blow away!
39. How can you identify a tree from Boston? It says “pahk the cah in hahvahd yahd!”
40. What type of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
41. Trees make great gossipers because they spread so much tea.
42. How can you tell a tree is getting old? Its bark is worse than its bite!
43. Trees make terrible stand-up comics because they always wood-le on with bad puns.
44. What’s a tree’s favorite sport? Bowling – so they can try out different kinds of spares!
45. Why do trees prefer to watch dramas? Because they can really empathize with those emotionally wooden performances.
46. How do trees access the internet? They log on.
47. What do you call a tree who works as a doctor? A surgeon sap!
48. A botanist walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “What’s your favorite type of tree?” The botanist says “I can’t decide, it really stumps me.”
49. What do trees and great comedians have in common? They both have amazing comic timing and delivery.
50. How are trees and chickens similar? They both enjoy pecking at seeds and nuts.
Best Forest Jokes (25)
51. A man got lost hiking alone in the woods. As night fell, he came across a small cabin. He knocked on the door and an old lady opened it. “Can I please stay here for the night?” asked the man. “I’m sorry,” said the old lady. “I don’t take in strangers.” The man pleaded with her, explaining how he was lost and scared. “Okay,” the old lady finally relented. “But you have to sleep in the barn.” The man thanked her profusely and agreed. As he was falling asleep on the hay in the barn, he heard a loud scream coming from the cabin. He raced out and saw the old lady being attacked by a huge bear. He managed to chase the bear away and saved the woman’s life. The next morning, as the man was packing to leave, the old lady stopped him. “Thank you so much for saving me. You’re always welcome to stay in my cabin – in fact, from now on, you can sleep in the house and I’ll sleep in the barn.”
52. Deep in the forest lived a girl named Red who always wore a red hood. One day, Red was going to visit her granny but had to walk through the woods to get there. On her way she ran into the Big Bad Wolf. “My, what big ears you have!” said Red. “The better to hear you with, my dear!” replied the wolf. “And my, what big eyes you have!” said Red. “The better to see you with!” howled the wolf. “And what big teeth you have!” exclaimed Red. The wolf grinned. “The better to eat you with!” Red screamed and ran away as fast as she could to her granny’s cottage, with the Big Bad Wolf right behind her. Bursting through the door, she cried, “Granny, the wolf is here!” Granny leapt up, throwing off her nightcap. It wasn’t Granny after all, but the Big Bad Wolf who had gotten there first and was waiting for a tasty snack. The two raced around Granny’s cottage, knocking over chairs and lamps until finally Red managed to lock the wolf in the closet. When Granny finally did arrive home, she scolded the wolf for trying to eat her granddaughter. The wolf apologized profusely and said he would never do it again. From then on, whenever he ran into Little Red Riding Hood in the woods, he just said hello and kept on walking.
53. There once was a lumberjack named Jack who lived in a small cabin deep in the woods with his trusty axe. Each day, Jack would go out to chop down trees to collect wood. One morning, as Jack was getting ready to leave, his axe was nowhere to be found. “Where could my axe be?” Jack wondered. He searched high and low but couldn’t find it anywhere. Exasperated, he decided to go into the woods without it to search the area he had been chopping trees the day before. After hours of searching, Jack finally discovered his axe stuck high up in a tall oak tree. The tricky tree had grown during the night lifting Jack’s axe up with its branches. “I’ll chop you down to get my axe back!” yelled Jack. As he took a swing with his fist at the tree, the oak started shaking with laughter. “Silly human, you cannot chop me down without your axe!” Jack was furious at being tricked by the oak. But there was nothing he could do without his trusty axe. Dejected, he returned home axeless. The next morning when Jack woke, he was surprised to find his axe sitting outside his front door. Attached was a note from the oak apologizing and asking if they could be friends. Jack agreed and from then on, always remembered to take his axe home with him after chopping.
54. Joe was a park ranger who patrolled a large forest every day. One morning, he woke up bright and early, put on his uniform, and went outside only to find a huge oak tree had fallen right in the middle of the trail. The tree was far too big for Joe to move by himself. He tried calling for help on his park radio, but it wasn’t working. Sighing, Joe sat down on the tree and took out his lunch sack. As he was eating his sandwich, a moose came sauntering down the trail. “Hey Moose, could you give me a hand? I need to move this fallen tree so hikers can get through.” The moose looked at Joe and looked at the tree. He nodded his big head and gripped the trunk of the tree in his mouth. With one heave, the moose flung the tree out of the trail. “Thank you!” said Joe, and offered the moose some of his sandwich. Turns out the moose loved peanut butter and jelly. From then on, Joe and the moose became good friends, making sure the trails were always clear for hikers.
55. Deep in Bear Canyon lived a grizzly bear family – Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and their cub Little Bear. One morning, Papa Bear woke up grumbling. “Someone’s been eating all my porridge!” Mama Bear shuffled into the kitchen next. “Someone’s been eating all my porridge too!” Little Bear bounced in last. “Someone’s been eating all my porridge, and they ate it all up!” The bears decided to search the canyon to find the porridge thief. After hours of hunting, they stumbled upon a tiny cabin with smoke coming from the chimney. Inside, they found a young girl named Goldilocks eating bowls of porridge. “Aha!” shouted Papa Bear. “You’re the one who ate our breakfast!” Goldilocks was scared of the big bears at first, but eventually explained how she had gotten lost in the woods and found their cabin. “I was so hungry, and the porridge smelled so good, I couldn’t help myself. I’m very sorry.” Mama Bear took pity on the girl. “That’s alright dear, just ask next time! Now let’s all eat some porridge together.” From then on, Goldilocks visited the bear family whenever she was hungry, and they remained good friends.
56. Peter the pine tree lived happily in Pinecone Forest. The sun always shone, the air smelled fresh, and the pinecones were plentiful. One morning, Peter awoke to loud noises coming from the edge of the forest. “Chop chop chop!” Peter looked out to see construction workers cutting down his friend Pamela the pine. “No, stop!” he shouted, but the workers couldn’t hear him over the buzzing of their chainsaws. Peter watched in horror as Pamela fell to the forest floor with a deafening thud. That night, all the trees held a meeting in dismay. Rumors were spreading that a new supermarket was going to be built where Pamela once stood. They had to do something to save their forest home. Under the moonlight, the trees whispered their plan. The very next day when the workers arrived, they found the forest completely silent and still. Peter, Pamela’s stump, and all the other trees had used their strongest roots to tangle themselves together, refusing to budge. The confused construction workers had no choice but to stop cutting and leave Pinecone Forest alone for good. From that day forward, the pine trees lived in peace once again.
57. There once was a pine tree who loved books. She would read every chance she got, but had read everything in Pinecone Library multiple times. One day, she decided to set off to find the fabled Big Oak Library, rumored to have every book imaginable. She left the safety of Pinecone Forest and ventured out into the unknown. Along the way she met Maple the maple tree who was also searching for the Big Oak Library. Together they crossed rivers, climbed mountains, and survived dangerous encounters with woodpeckers. Just when it seemed like the library didn’t exist, they crested a hill and spied the biggest oak tree they had ever seen. races with thousands of books! The two trees read to their hearts’ content, making friends with the wise old oak. Though they loved Big Oak Library, they eventually missed home. The three trees said goodbye and Maple and Pine returned to Pinecone Forest with fantastic stories to tell. From then on, Pine would periodically visit Big Oak Library to get the latest book releases and bring them back to share with her forest friends.
58. Once upon a time there was a young sentient aspen tree named Squiver who lived deep in the forest of Burnt Willow Creek. Squiver loved gazing at the stars through the canopy at night and dreaming about exploration and adventure. He imagined visiting towering sequoia groves, sailing across moonlit lakes, and climbing misty mountain peaks. But whenever a strong breeze blew through the forest, Squiver became frightened that he would fall over, so he remained firmly rooted in place. Centuries passed as Squiver watched the world go by from his perch by the creek. He made many treetop friends who loved listening to his dreams, but he never worked up the courage to take the first step toward actually achieving them. Then one day, a family of ravens came to nest in Squiver’s branches. They filled his days with joy, but also made it difficult for Squiver to gaze up at the stars. After the ravens flew off, Squiver realized how much he missed dreaming beneath that starry sky. He decided it was finally time for his roots to walk. With deep breaths, Squiver slowly untangled himself from the forest floor. He wobbled at first, but the fresh air filled his spirit with energy. Watching his dreams glitter above gave Squiver the courage to take his first bold step forward into the forest. He had a lot of ground to cover to reach those distant mountains, but Squiver was ready for wherever the journey would take him next.
59. Yggdrasil the giant ash tree stood proudly at the center of Midgard Forest, stretching her branches over the entire woods. Generations of families resided in Yggdrasil’s extensive system of trunks and limbs, following the cycle of the seasons year after year. Yggdrasil provided them with plenty of seeds, fruits, and shelter. In return, the animals maintained the great tree by fetching water for her roots, pruning unhealthy branches, and spreading seeds to Yggdrasil’s children saplings. One year, a drought struck Midgard Forest. The land dried up and fires broke out, threatening Yggdrasil. The animals banded together, dousing fires and searching for water to keep the great ash healthy. Even the tiny field mice carried tiny drops of dew up from the ground each morning. Their combined efforts paid off when the drought finally broke and rains returned. Thanks to the animals’ care, Yggdrasil survived to proudly stand watch over Midgard for many more centuries. She continues to generously provide shelter and nourishment to generations of forest families.
60. Ol’ Oakley was the most stubborn oak tree that ever lived. For over 200 years, he stood rigidly in place in Bluebird Meadow even as the landscape changed around him from saplings to thick woods. When a boulder rolled downhill during a storm and lodged beside Oakley’s trunk, the old tree just grew around the rock instead of shifting over. Families of raccoons, bluebirds, and squirrels all made their home in Oakley’s branches over the decades. He sheltered them through many fierce thunderstorms. One summer, a powerful wind storm roared through the forest snapping mighty pines and maples. Still, Oakley refused to sway even an inch. The animals pleaded with him to bend just a little to avoid breaking, but Oakley was resolute. In the end, the mighty wind toppled ol’ Oakley in a thunderous crash. The animals mourned the loss of their steadfast friend who had stubbornly provided so much shelter over the years. They gathered acorns from Oakley’s branches and buried them around the meadow. The following spring, countless saplings sprouted in the sunlight. Though Oakley was gone, his children carried on his legacy in Bluebird Meadow. They would provide shelter for many new generations to come – albeit with a bit more flexibility.
61. There once was a sapling
