Easter Puns (15)
1. I went to buy some Easter eggs but the store was all sold out. I guess they had good eggs-it strategy.
2. Want to hear a joke about Easter? It’s pretty eggscellent!
3. Why did the Easter egg hide? He was a little chicken!
4. My friend got hit in the head with an Easter egg. He’s lucky it was an eggs-cident and not eggs-tremely serious.
5. Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a joke? It might crack up!
6. What do you call an Easter egg from outer space? An Eggs-traterrestrial!
7. Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? He was having a bad hare day.
8. What do you call a mischievous egg? A practical yolker.
9. Why did the Easter egg cross the road? To get to the other side.
10. I had a boiled Easter egg today – it wasn’t egg-actly hard boiled.
11. How did the Easter Bunny rate the Easter parade? He said it was eggs-cellent.
12. What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards? A receding hareline.
13. My friend thinks the Easter Bunny is real, but I’m not falling for that yolk!
14. What did one Easter egg say to the other? Let’s get cracking!
15. Why did the Easter egg hide? He was a little chicken!
Easter One-Liners (10)
16. I was going to tell an Easter joke but none of them were funny so I decided to wing it.
17. I entered 10 puns in a contest to see which would win. No pun in ten did.
18. Easter EggHunting would be really difficult if the eggs didn’t lay still.
19. I told my girlfriend we could go egghunting like when we were young, but she told me we’ll look silly. I guess we can’t over easy it.
20. I don’t wanna come across as judgemental, but people who coat real eggs for easter are weirdos. That takes shellfishness to a whole new level.
21. I woke up this Easter morning excited for the egg hunt only to realize I’m 35 and I don’t live at home anymore.
22. Roses are red, bunnies hop and play; Happy Easter to you, hip hip hooray!
23. Deviled eggs out on the table? It must be Easter Sunday.
24. Q: Where does the Easter Bunny get his eggs? A: From egg plants!
25. Nothing cracks me up more than Easter egg jokes!
Best Easter Jokes (20)
26. One Easter Sunday, a priest was giving a sermon on the resurrection of Jesus. He stressed the idea that Jesus would return one day. Suddenly an excited parishioner stood up and interrupted the priest. He said, “Father! I just saw Jesus outside the church!” The priest tried to calm the interrupter down but he was too excited. “Father, I really did see him! He had a robe and long hair!” The priest stepped out of the pulpit and walked to the front door. He slowly opened the door, looked outside, and said, “You idiot! That’s not Jesus. It’s just some hippy.”
27. Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume walked by. The first lady said, “My, I’d sure like to pet his tail.” The second lady said, “I’d like to hold his ears.” The third lady said, “I’d like to nibble on his candy eggs.” Hearing this, the man turned around and said, “Ladies, I’m not really an Easter Bunny.” The first lady said, “We’re not really old ladies either. We’re the three bears!”
28. Billy came downstairs on Easter morning and found his basket filled with eggs and candy. “Wow! The Easter Bunny knows I like candy!” Later, he went out to the barn to play and found some more candy eggs. Delighted, he ran back to the house shouting “Mommy! The Easter Bunny put more eggs in the barn!” Billy’s mother smiled and said, “No, dear. Those were from the broody hen. You see Billy, Easter eggs come from ordinary hens, but Easter bunnies come from our imaginations.” Deflated, Billy sighed and said “Well, I guess just ruined Easter for me.”
29. Susan loved Easter but was concerned about eating too much candy. She had a clever idea – she would hide her own Easter eggs filled with fruits and nuts instead! On Easter morning, Susan rushed out to the yard to find her healthy eggs. But to her dismay, all she found were empty shells. Confused, she went to ask her mother what happened. Her mother smiled and said, “Oh Susan, the Easter Bunny must have taken the contents of your eggs and replaced them with candy. He knows what children really want on Easter!”
30. Little Emma was very excited for the big Easter egg hunt. She had her basket ready as she rushed out into the yard to start collecting eggs. After a while, Emma sat down and started looking rather glum. Her mother noticed and asked what was wrong. Emma said sadly, “I wanted to win the prize for the most Easter eggs, but I’m pretty sure Charlotte already found the egg with the golden ticket.” Mother smiled and said gently, “Now Emma, remember this is supposed to just be a fun day, it’s not about prizes or winning.” After thinking a moment, Emma looked up and said innocently, “I know Mom, but the grand prize was $100 and I really wanted that money so I could give it to the orphan kids we sponsor. I thought it could help them have a happier Easter.” Her mother’s heart melted and she gave Emma a big hug.
31. Peter was so excited for Easter this year. He just knew he would get the extra large chocolate bunny he saw at the store. He woke up early, put on his Sunday best, and rushed to the living room. But when Peter saw his Easter basket, his face fell. It was filled with clothes – shirts, pants, socks, and underwear. Disappointed, he turned to his mom and asked, “Is this my Easter basket?” She chuckled and said, “April Fool’s! Your real basket is coming.” Peter breathed a sigh of relief.
32. Little May loved Easter, especially coloring all the beautiful eggs. She decided to make the prettiest egg of all to give as a gift to her parents. She used glitter, sequins, stickers and all the fancy trimmings. When she presented the egg, her parents exclaimed, “Wow, this is the most beautiful egg we’ve ever seen!” May smiled proudly. Just then, her baby brother crawled over and snatched the egg and tried to bite into it. “No, don’t!” cried May. Thankfully, she had hard-boiled the eggs before decorating them. Her brother gnawed on the rock-hard egg as everyone laughed.
33. Tom woke up extra early on Easter. He tiptoed out to the yard, looking for the hidden eggs. Excitedly, he spotted one under a bush. As he reached for it, he heard a little girl’s voice say “Hey mister, that’s my egg!” Tom looked up to see a cute little girl glaring at him. Feeling guilty, he apologized and helped the girl find the rest of her eggs. Afterwards, the girl’s mom came out with a basket. Smiling warmly she said “Thank you for helping my daughter. These eggs are for you – Happy Easter!”
34. Easter was the perfect day for Sam’s big prank on his sister Jo. He had prepared a raw egg the night before. When Jo came bouncing downstairs, Sam said he had a special Easter egg as a gift for her. Jo eagerly reached for the beautifully decorated egg. As soon as she squeezed, it burst open, oozing slimy egg all over her hands. Jo shrieked while Sam rolled on the floor laughing. Just then, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Jo holding a REAL colorful egg. “Gotcha!” she laughed. Touché!” Sam said grinning.
35. Easter was approaching and the farm animals were discussing the holiday. The chicken said, “We eggs are the best part! No Easter is complete without us!” The cow said, “But my milk is used to make so many yummy candies and treats.” The sheep said, “Well, I give wool to weave Easter baskets!” The barnyard rooster spoke up proudly: “Yes, but I am the one who reminds everyone the joyous day is here!” The donkey smiled and said humbly, “And I am honored to carry Jesus on my back on Palm Sunday as we celebrate His resurrection.” The animals all nodded in agreement.
36. Uncle John loved jokes and pranks. At the family Easter gathering, he had Easter eggs filled with confetti and itching powder. He convinced his little nieces and nephews to rub the eggs on their bodies for good luck before the egg hunt. The kids became covered in colorful paper shreds and started scratching like crazy. The parents were furious with Uncle John, until they noticed him scratching too. He had tested an egg on himself first! After the confusion cleared up, everyone enjoyed a good laugh.
37. For weeks, sweet Miss Baylee had carefully tended to the little baby chicks at school, nurturing them until they grew into chickens. On the day before Easter vacation, she came in to discover their coop empty! Distraught, she searched everywhere but the hens were gone. She sadly realized they must have been taken for Easter eggs. Just then, the assistant principal walked up grinning, with a fluffy chick peeking out from his pocket. “Don’t worry my dear, your chicks are safe in my office!” What a relief!
38. For Easter this year, Tim and Jill decided to forgo the usual sweets and give their kids educational gifts. They created baskets labeled “optometrist”, “dentist” and “doctor”. Little Emma happily grabbed her basket shouting “I got doctor!” But her face fell when she saw it contained a stethoscope, syringe, and thermometer. Tim and Jill beamed with pride at their creative gift idea. Meanwhile Emma dumped out the basket and muttered “Worst Easter ever.”
39. Amy’s kindergarten class was having their big Easter party. The teacher announced they would hold an egg decorating contest, with a prize for the most creative egg. Amy traced and cut out tiny pictures of her whole family to make a beautiful collage on her egg. Next to her, Alex glued colorful pom poms into cute shapes. Amy thought his egg looked so silly compared to her egg! But to her dismay, the teacher awarded the prize to Alex. Amy soon realized that creativity comes in all forms.
40. Little Ethan was obsessed with Easter egg hunts. Each year, he plotted how to find the most eggs and win. This year he had a master plan involving maps and an elaborate strategy. On Easter morning, Ethan executed his plan perfectly collecting 25 eggs in record time. He ran to his mom and shouted “I crushed the egg hunt this year!” She replied gently “remember, Easter isn’t just about what we receive dear.” Ethan thought a moment then ran to share some of his eggs with younger kids.
41. Jane volunteered for the town’s big annual Easter egg hunt. She loved seeing the kids run and search for the hidden eggs. As the start time neared, Jane was assigned hiding locations. She wandered deep into the woods, carefully camouflaging each brightly colored egg. Just then, rain started pouring down in buckets. Jane worried no kids could ever find these eggs in thick mud. Desperate, she began building tiny rock cairns next to each buried egg to mark its location. Imagine the confusion when 120 grubby children all arrived dragging their parents to follow Jane’s impromptu rock trail!
42. Easter arrived, and the big egg decorating contest had come down to just two kindergarten girls. Sweet little Mia had delicately painted a basket of flowers on her egg. Next to her, Emma had dyed her egg solid black and was punching holes all over the shell with a toothpick. The judge studied the unique eggs carefully. Mia’s had unparalleled beauty and artistry. But Emma’s was much more creative and technically impressive. The judge ultimately awarded first place to Emma’s punched black egg!
43. Mrs. Thompson prepared an Easter quiz for her high school history class. “What religious event inspires our Easter holiday traditions?” she asked. The students scribbled down answers. Mrs. Thompson collected the quizzes and read the responses out loud. Greg had written “The death and resurrection of Christ.” Eva wrote “Jesus rising from the tomb.” But Jackson’s paper just said “The annual spring sale at JC Penney’s!” Mrs. Thompson shook her head and sighed.
44. Little Jess was so excited about the Easter egg hunt. She had her basket ready as she rushed out to search through the yard. Soon her basket was full of colorful eggs. Proudly she brought it to show her parents. But when they looked inside, they gasped – the eggs were all real! “Jessica, where did you find these?” her mother asked. Jess replied innocently: “Under the hens. I thought that’s where eggs came from?”
45. For Easter this year, I think I’m just going to stick with the Cadbury Crème Eggs. They’re my favorite. Whenever I bite into that thick, rich chocolate shell and it gives way to the sugary goo inside, it’s pure heaven! The smooth, creamy filling is just so tasty and satisfying. And I love the crunch of the candy coating around the edges! Yum! The Cadbury Crème Egg is the perfect little egg of joy and chocolate deliciousness! Happy Easter!