Thursday Puns
1. I heard Thursday is offering a new cologne called Eau My Gosh It’s Thursday Already!
2. What did one Thursday say to the other Thursday? I’ll see you next week!
3. Thursday got in trouble for eating too many Sundays. It just wanted more weekend!
4. Thursday always works hard and looks forward to Friday. You could say it has a thirst for the weekend.
5. Thursday tried to cut in line on Monday. Tuesday said, “No cut-ins until the weekend!”
6. Thursday loves telling jokes. You could say it’s punny!
7. Thursday went to the circus and saw Tightrope Tuesday, Wild Wednesday, and Juggling Friday perform. It was a week of spectacle!
8. Thursday never works out. It would rather take naps than do crunches.
9. Thursday always dresses casually for work. It thinks suits are stuffy.
10. Thursday loves video games. Its favorite is Call of Duty: Black Ops.
11. Thursday thinks it’s hilarious. The other weekdays just roll their eyes.
12. Thursday has night terrors. It always has frightening dreams before Friday!
Thursday One-Liners
13. Thursday is practically the weekend…practically.
14. Thursday night’s alright for fighting—to stay awake until Friday.
15. Thursday? More like Thirsty for Friday!
16. TGIF? More like TGIThursday!
17. Thursday is just Friday Eve.
18. Thursday night football? More like Thirsty Thursday night football!
19. Thursday, the procrastinator’s Friday.
20. Thursday: the wannabe weekend.
21. Just one more day until the weekend! Thursday can do it!
22. Is it Thursday yet? Asking for a friend with a case of the Mondays.
Best Thursday Jokes
23. One Thursday, Aaron asked his friend Bill what day it was.
“It’s Thursday,” said Bill.
“Nah, it feels more like a Wednesday,” argued Aaron.
Bill just sighed. Aaron was always trying to make these weird jokes about what day of the week it was!
24. On Thursday, Doug was getting ready for work when he suddenly had a brilliant idea for a joke.
“Hey honey, what if I pretend like today is Friday instead of Thursday?” he called to his wife.
“Yeah, yeah,” she said, brushing him off. Doug was always coming up with silly jokes and finding himself absolutely hilarious.
At work, he tried it out on his colleague. “Happy Friday!” he proclaimed loudly.
“Doug, it’s Thursday,” his colleague said flatly.
25. Thursday afternoon, Becky was hanging out with her friend Jenny.
“Ugh, I thought today was Friday!” complained Becky. “I wish tomorrow was Friday instead of boring old Thursday.”
“Ha, good one Becky,” said Jenny. “You and your jokes.”
Becky looked confused. “What are you talking about? I wasn’t making a joke!”
Jenny just laughed and said, “Yeah right, like you don’t know today is Thursday!”
26. On Thursday night, Alex was playing video games when his mom called him for dinner.
“Just a few more minutes!” he shouted back. “I’m almost done with this round.”
His mom came into the room and turned off the TV. “It’s time to eat, Alex. And after dinner, you can tell me some of your hilarious jokes about how it feels more like Tuesday than Thursday.”
Alex groaned. “Mom, that was ONE time!”
27. Rob was sitting in a boring meeting at work on Thursday afternoon. He decided to liven things up with some of his signature office jokes.
“Man, this week is just flying by!” he remarked to the room. “It totally feels like Friday today, not Thursday!”
His coworkers said nothing. Rob awkwardly filled the silence. “Get it? Because…it’s Thursday?”
“We get it,” his boss said. “Please continue your presentation.”
28. On Thursday morning, Paul was talking to his friend John on the phone while getting ready for work.
“This week has been crazy!” said Paul. “I could’ve sworn when I woke up that it was Saturday, not boring old Thursday again.”
“Ha, good one,” said John flatly.
“Wait, you really don’t know what day it is, do you Paul?” John said after an awkward silence. “It’s definitely Thursday, man.”
29. Conrad was bored out of his mind in class on Thursday afternoon. He tried to entertain himself by pretending it was Friday instead.
“TGIF!” he suddenly blurted out in the middle of the lecture. His classmates turned to stare at him.
“Mr. Conrad, while I admire your enthusiasm, I regret to inform you it is only Thursday,” said his teacher drily.
Conrad slumped down in embarrassment. Next time, he’d keep the bad jokes to himself.
30. On Thursday evening, Gary was hanging out with his girlfriend Jenn watching TV.
“Is it just me, or does it feel like Saturday night instead of Thursday?” Gary mused.
“Nice try. I know it’s Thursday!” said Jenn. “You can’t trick me with your silly little ‘what day is it’ jokes.”
“Come on, I wasn’t joking!” said Gary. “I totally thought today was Saturday.”
Jenn just smiled and patted his leg. “Sure you did, honey.”
31. Julie was exhausted on Thursday after a long week at work. On the drive home, she called her husband.
“Is it Friday yet?” she joked. “Because it sure feels like it should be the weekend already instead of the middle of the week.”
“Ha, good one,” he replied. “But unfortunately, today is only Thursday. Just one more day until the weekend!”
Julie sighed. “Don’t I know it. This week just keeps dragging on and on.”
At least her little joke had lightened the mood temporarily.
32. Last Thursday, Zach’s boss asked him to come up with some jokes to share at the team meeting.
“Why jokes?” asked Zach.
“To boost morale,” his boss explained. “Like maybe play a funny joke pretending you don’t know what day it is.”
During the meeting, all eyes fell on Zach.
“Hey everyone!” he said. “Happy Friday Eve! Can you believe it’s already Friday and not Thursday? This week flew by!”
His joke was met with blank stares. Zach’s boss facepalmed.
“Dude, it’s clearly Thursday,” said someone. Zach sat down in embarrassment.
33. On Thursday night, Amelia was hanging out with her friends at a bar for trivia night.
“Ugh, I thought trivia was tomorrow night!” groaned Amelia. “Could’ve sworn today was Wednesday.”
“Yeah right,” her friend Kali teased. “Nice try, but no points for pretending you don’t know today is Thursday!”
Amelia shrugged and took a sip of her drink. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.”
Maybe next time her little joke would land better.
34. Last Thursday, Tim was waiting in line at the coffee shop before work.
“Happy Monday!” he suddenly said, turning to the man behind him in line. “Or wait, is it Tuesday? This week is going by so fast I lost track!”
The man gave him a strange look. “It’s Thursday. The same day as it was 5 minutes ago when you were also here waiting in line.”
Tim chuckled awkwardly then looked away. His lame joke attempt had fallen flat once again.
35. Britney was not looking forward to the staff meeting scheduled for Thursday afternoon. She wished it was Friday already.
When Thursday rolled around, she decided to pretend it was in fact Friday. Maybe it would make the day go faster.
“TGIF!” she exclaimed as her coworkers filed into the conference room. “So happy it’s Friday and not Thursday!”
Her coworkers paused and gave her blank stares. Britney’s attempt to make a joke had fallen flat once again.
36. Lucy hated riding the crowded subway on Thursday evenings. She wished the workweek was over already.
One Thursday, as she squeezed onto a packed train car, she announced, “Is it Friday yet?? Feels like we should be partying this weekend, not heading home on a Thursday!”
Her fellow passengers eyed her strangely. Lucy cringed internally. Her lame joke had not landed at all. At least she had entertained herself briefly.
37. On Thursday afternoon, Liam stopped by his friend Noah’s desk at work.
“Happy Friday Eve!” he exclaimed, slapping Noah on the back. “Can you believe it’s already Friday and not Thursday? Man, this week flew by fast!”
“Dude, it’s definitely Thursday,” said Noah, rolling his eyes. “But nice try. I give you props for commitment to that weak joke.”
Liam shrugged and walked away. He’d get ’em next time with his hilarious Thursday material.