Storm Puns
- I wanted to make a joke about the storm, but there was just too much wind build up.
- What do you call a storm that moves slowly? A drizzle.
- Why are storms bad at telling jokes? Their delivery is poor.
- My friend got hit by lightning during the storm. He’s currently in shock.
- The storm blew the roof off my house. Now I’m experiencing a lot of overhead costs.
- I tried to write a book about the storm, but it was too tempestuous.
- The storm caused a power outage at the particle accelerator facility. There were some heavy quarks.
- Did you hear about the psychic who predicted the storm? There was a big medium at large.
- I wanted to make a tornado joke, but it would just blow away.
- The storm swept away my collection of bath towels. It was a clean shear.
- What do you call a tornado that got its degree online? A twist of fate.
- I tried to chase the storm but lightning struck and now I’m thunder arrest.
- Did you hear about the depressed storm cloud? He was feeling a little thunder the weather.
- What do you call two tornadoes who are dating? Twisters.
Storm One-Liners
- This storm has everyone’s panties in a twist.
- The thunder was so loud it woke the dead…who later died again from fright.
- This storm cloud is so dark it singlehandedly solved racism.
- It’s raining so hard I thought my roof was a waterfall.
- The lightning is Zeus’ camera flash to get the perfect storm selfie.
- This wind is straight out of Dorothy’s wizard nightmare.
- The thunder is so loud I can’t tell if it’s the sky or WW3.
- This storm flooded my basement so fast it literally underwatered my houseplant.
- The rain punched a hole straight through my umbrella and now I’m soaked to the marrow.
- This storm cloud looks like it’s about to drop the sickest album of 2023.
- The thunder was so loud my dog peed himself and then frowned at me judgmentally.
- It’s raining pitchforks and my roof is leaking sins.
- I tried to yell over the wind and it slapped me in the face.
- The thunder shook me so hard my skeleton jumped out and ran away.
- This storm cloud just mansplained pressure systems to me.
Best Storm Jokes
16. During the huge storm, the man heard a knock at his door. He opened it to find his friend soaking wet standing there. “Come in out of the rain!” the man said.
“Oh no thanks,” his friend replied. “I’ve got my own storm going on out here.”
17. After the big storm, Mary’s kids were excited to play outside in the puddles. But Mary stopped them, saying “Now kids, don’t go playing where lightning just struck. You could end up with shocks!”
18. During the storm, Jill was home alone and started hearing noises coming from the basement. She slowly walked downstairs in the dark, shaking with fear. Suddenly, a huge flash of lightning illuminated the basement, and standing right in front of her was an electrical panel. Jill laughed, realizing the “intruder” was just the circuit breaker resetting after the thunder shook the house.
19. The morning after the storm, Tom emerged from his basement to find his entire house gone except for the stairs he was standing on. A news crew rushed over to interview him. “So how did you survive the storm?” they asked. Tom replied “Well, they always say go to the lowest point in your house during a storm. So I did.”
20. After surviving the intense storm, the woman decided she never wanted to be caught off-guard again. She installed a lightning rod, stockpiled canned goods, got a generator and first aid kit. But the next storm swept her and all her preparations away. Her last words were “Well this is shocking!”
21. When the big storm knocked the power out, I had to light my house using candles. My friend said “That must have been romantic with just candlelight.” I replied “No way! Do you have any idea how hard it is to read by candlelight? I just sat bored in the dark.”
22. After the storm destroyed my garden, I sobbed dramatically “Why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?” Later I realized I had planted everything in sand and left it bone dry all summer. Maybe I had it coming.
23. The weatherman said the chances of a storm today were 0%. So I planned an amazing backyard barbecue. As soon as I lit the grill, the sky turned nearly black with thunderclouds. Now I’m taking cover in the tool shed while everyone eats soggy potato salad.
24. During the storm, a tree branch pierced the roof of Sam’s house, landing right over his bed as he slept. The next morning, Sam showed the branch to his wife and said “Honey, I think it’s time to move the bed.”
25. My conspiracy theorist friend is convinced the government controls the weather and whips up big storms when people start protesting. I told him storms have perfectly natural explanations. Now I’ve been declared an enemy of the truth.
26. Jill was scared of thunder, so whenever storms came she would crawl under the bed to hide. One night her husband got woken up by a huge clap of thunder. He turned over and found Jill hiding under the bed. “What are you doing under there???” he asked. Jill replied “Oh sorry, force of habit.”
27. I was laughing at my friends who were scared during the storm, bragging “I’m not afraid of a little thunder!” Just then lightning struck right outside the window with a huge boom. I screamed and leapt across the room. Now no one is ever going to let me live that down.
28. Darren was a storm chaser, researching tornados across Tornado Alley. He got too close once and a twister picked up his car, spinning it around hundreds of feet in the air. Later Darren said “My life literally flashed before my eyes. It was pretty boring.”
29. Lisa’s roof started leaking during the storm, so she frantically put pots and pans everywhere to catch the drips. Her husband said “Why didn’t you just call a roofer?” Lisa said “I couldn’t find their number!” He replied “It’s in the yellow pages…” Lisa said “Oh.”
30. During the storm, the wind slammed my front door open. I yelled “Stop!” and it actually closed again. Now I think my house might be haunted and I’m afraid to be home alone.
31. The weather report said today would be sunny, so I left the house without an umbrella or raincoat. 30 minutes later, I was caught in a downpour and had to take cover under a tiny awning with a stranger. Thanks for nothing, weatherman.
32. Jill’s toddler was scared of thunder, so she gave him earmuffs to block out the loud noise during storms. It worked great until one night, thunder shook the whole house. Her toddler said “It’s loud even with my ears off!”
33. During the storm, my dog Scooter wouldn’t come back inside. I stood in the doorway calling his name. Just then, lightning flashed and I saw Scooter digging a hole for shelter in the backyard. I yelled “Looks like someone just volunteered to sleep outside tonight!”
34. I thought I was safe from the storm inside my house. But then a huge clap of thunder shook everything and I watched my dishes commit suicide by leaping out of the cabinets to their deaths.
35. When the big storm knocked down the power lines, I tried to call the electric company but just got a busy signal for 3 hours straight. In frustration I yelled “You have ONE job!” Then the irony dawned on me.
36. My friend was scared of thunder and lightning as a kid. During storms, her parents would tell her it was just angels moving furniture around. She believed them until one night it thundered hard for 3 hours straight. She thought “There’s no way it takes that long to move a couch.”
37. During the severe storm warning, they announced over the PA system “Everyone must go to the nearest stairwell for safety.” I hoofed it over there only to find the stairwell full of other refugees from the storm. Then I realized we’d all just gathered in the one place lightning would strike.
38. My grandpa hated storms, but loved gardening. One afternoon dark clouds formed while he was outside picking tomatoes. Grandpa shook his fist at the sky and yelled “You just try it!” Then immediately got zapped by lightning. After that, storms didn’t scare him anymore.
39. I slept right through the big storm and woke up to see my entire yard flooded. My neighbor said “Didn’t you hear all that thunder and lightning last night?” I said “Nope, I took some Nyquil and was out cold.” He said “Maybe I should try that…”
40. During the storm, my kids were scared so I let them camp out in the living room. At dawn, I woke up and stepped in a puddle. My roof was leaking right over the sofa they were sleeping on. I decided not to tell them until after breakfast.
41. Jill was stressed about an upcoming storm, so she got advice from her grandmother. “Just drink some hot tea and read a book during the storm dear. It will soothe your nerves.” she said. The night of the storm, Jill tried that but spilled scalding tea on herself because the thunder made her jump.
42. Tom was a daredevil who loved lightning storms. One night, he ran outside wearing a metal colander on his head daring lightning to strike him. His wife yelled “Get back here before you get hurt!” Tom replied “The colander will protect me!” His wife said “Yeah it strains the pasta not lightning, you idiot.”