Stepladder Puns (16)
1. I bought a new stepladder yesterday, but when I got home I realized it was a bit flaky. I shouldn’t have taken the steps so lightly.
2. My stepladder business failed because it didn’t quite reach the heights I was hoping for.
3. Did you hear about the angry stepladder? It was always up in arms.
4. I tried to sell my old stepladder on eBay, but I couldn’t manage to raise the bid.
5. When my stepladder collapsed, I was completely let down.
6. Did you know that stepladders actually prefer the metric system? They think the imperial system is too many steps.
7. I wanted to learn how to juggle, but the instructor told me to take it one step at a time. So I got a stepladder instead.
8. When the stepladder lost his job, his wife said “Don’t worry honey, something better will come your way soon. Just try not to get steps ahead of yourself.”
9. Did you hear about the stepladder that was knighted by the Queen of England? He became Sir Step A. Ladder!
10. My friend threw all his stepladders into the river to try and drown his sorrows, but depression kept climbing back up on him.
11. Whenever I forget how high my new stepladder can reach, I quickly step back to compare it to my old one.
12. I ordered a tiny stepladder online but when it arrived it was even smaller than I expected. It’s so mini it’s microscopic – an infra-red ladder!
13. Did you hear about the stepladder that stepped into an Irish bar? He ordered a Guinness stout and drank it one rung at a time!
14. Did you know that stepladders actually prefer old music? They’re really into vintage vinyl.
15. I wanted to buy a new stepladder but didn’t have enough savings in my high interest account. Oh well, back to the drawing board I guess!
16. My stepladder and I were planning to go to the circus, but when we got there all the shows were sold stairway out!
Stepladder One-Liners (15)
17. I was hoping my old stepladder would retire soon but it refuses to step down.
18. My stepladder business failed because the profits didn’t quite step up to my expectations.
19. I put my stepladder out of business when I started selling snake oil instead.
20. I tried to give my old stepladder away for free online but there were no takers, everyone must have higher steps these days.
21. My stepladder identifies as non-binary – it prefers the pronouns step/steps/stepself.
22. I asked my stepladder to describe itself in one word and it said “unstable.”
23. Never trust a shifty stepladder, it might be a step stool in disguise!
24. Stepladders may reach new heights but they’ll never step up to the ladder of my success.
25. My stepladder tried stand-up comedy last night but completely bombed. I guess its jokes just didn’t quite step up.
26. I caught my stepladder sneaking down the stairs last night, talk about a slippery slope!
27. My lazy stepladder got fired from his warehouse job because he refused to lift anything heavier than Step 1.
28. I asked my stepladder how its weekend was and it complained about how the stepkids wore it out.
29. Stepladders may claim they take the moral high ground but we all know they have a step history.
30. I wanted to take the high road during the debate but my opponent just kept reinventing the stepladder.
31. Stepladders will promise you the moon but they’ll never quite reach the highest step.
Best Stepladder Jokes (16)
32. Three contractors walked into a bar arguing about who was the best in the business. The electrician said “Come on guys, admitting I’m the best shouldn’t be too much of a reach.” The plumber scoffed “Don’t step too high buddy, you’re out of your depth here.” Meanwhile the painter just smiled quietly as the argument heated up. Finally the bartender asked “Come on painter, you’re being awfully quiet over there – don’t you want to step up and weigh in?” The painter smirked and said “Nah, I’ll just let you guys hash it out while I go grab my stepladder.”
33. Did you hear about the stepladder that got arrested? It was charged with multiple counts of high climbing! Apparently it also resisted a rest.
34. Why can’t you tell a joke to a stepladder? Because it always takes things literally, one step at a time.
35. How do stepladders party? They raise the roof one storey at a time! But they have to leave the premises by 10pm before the neighbors step in.
36. Did you hear about the stepladder that traveled back in time to medieval England? He got a job assisting the royal stonemasons building a castle. When asked his name he said “You can call me Step Ladder, I’m the new helping hands around here!”
37. A firefighter, an electrician, and a stepladder all walk into a burning building. The firefighter looks around and says “Don’t worry, I know this place like the back of my hand, follow me and we’ll get out of here safe.” The stepladder turns to the electrician and whispers “you know he seems a bit full of himself, maybe we should try finding our own way out?”
38. Three contractors are stranded on a desert island with nothing but 20 feet of rope, a hammer, and a stepladder between them. They spend weeks trying to invent contraptions to build a boat and signal for help but nothing works. One morning they wake up and see a huge cruise ship anchored offshore. The contractors are overjoyed, knowing rescue is close at hand. Just then the ship sounds its deep loud horn. The electrician looks dejected and says “Well there goes that plan, no way they can hear us or see us from way out there!” But the stepladder has an idea. He turns to the other two and says “Quick – grab that hammer and use it to ring out an SOS on my steps as loud as you can. Where there’s a will – there’s a way!”
39. Why are stepladders so bad at keeping secrets? Because they’re always taking things one step at a time.
40. Did you hear about the suicidal stepladder? He was feeling really down in the dumps so decided he’d end it and take a step off a tall bridge. But on his way there he ran into a nice firefighter who convinced him that life is still worth living, even if he is only half a ladder. So they went and got themselves a nice cup of coffee, had a long talk, and parted ways with the stepladder feeling much happier about stepping up to face life’s challenges.
41. A family is woken late one night by strange noises coming from downstairs. The dad cautiously takes his baseball bat and creeps down to investigate, motioning for his son to stay back. He steps into the living room and flicks on the light – only to see the family stepladder scurrying across the floor knocking things off shelves! In a panic the dad yells “Oh my god it’s a step ladder come to life!! Quick son hand me my bat!” The kid pauses then says “Dad I know you told me to stay back but don’t you think we should try just talking to the stepladder first?”
42. Three contractors walk onto a job site. They spot a massive pile of 2×4 wooden planks on the far end of the lot and start arguing about who should go haul the load over. The plumber complains he just had back surgery and shouldn’t be lifting anything heavy. The electrician says his doctor told him to take it easy until his hernia heals up. The two of them look expectantly at the painter. “Hey don’t look at me!” he protests “I’m still recovering from when I fell off that darn stepladder last month.” Just then the stepladder pipes up behind them. “Oh for crying out loud, I guess if you want something done right around here you gotta do it yourself. Come on legs let’s go grab those boards!”
43. Did you know that stepladders actually have a long documented history fighting for social justice reform? It’s true – they’ve raised thousands of dollars over the years to help lift up marginalized communities!
44. A firefighter rushes into a burning building to rescue trapped workers. He spots a frightened woman cowering beneath a smoke-filled staircase. As he reaches out to pull her towards safety there’s a loud crack and the entire stairwell collapses in flames, sending them tumbling into the basement. The woman sobs “Oh god we’re trapped, there’s no way out now!” Thinking fast the firefighter grabs a nearby stepladder. He sets it upright beneath a high window and says “Quick – climb out while I lift from below!” Thanks to the trusty stepladder the woman scrambles to freedom. She turns back for the brave firefighter but the roaring flames engulf the basement completely. By dawn the fire is out but the building has collapsed. As crews comb through wreckage the captain notices something odd sticking out from the debris – incredibly it seems to be moving! They rush over and lift off charred planks to reveal the dust-covered fireman still conscious but severely burned. And there underneath him is that trusty stepladder – scorched and buckled but miraculously intact after shielding the trapped firefighter from the worst of the collapse! Both battered heroes are rushed off to hospital cheered as living legends.
45. A man excitedly unpacks the fancy new stepladder he ordered online. But when he sets it up and stands on the very top rung to reach up high, the legs tremble and buckle sending him crashing down in a painful heap. Red-faced with embarrassment he packs up the busted stepladder and shoves it out of sight in the back of his basement. A year later during a big storm floodwaters pour into the basement battering everything violently. The man opens the door to survey damage and can’t believe his eyes – bobbing upside-down on the surging waves like a makeshift raft is that crazy new stepladder! Its unsteady legs somehow keeping the man’s toolboxes, paint cans, and gardening supplies all safely piled high above the churning water. “Well I’ll be darned” mutters the man “I knew this old stepladder would turn out to be useful for something after all!”
46. Why did the stepladder get sent to prison? Because it stole the stairs and wouldn’t give them back!
47. Did you hear about the Irish man whose family stepladder got destroyed in a storm? He said “Top o’ the mornin to ya …. or at least it used to be!”
