I asked my friend how his shower was, he said it was just so-so.
My shower is very possessive. It gets steamed if I use any other shower.
The shower refused to work unless I took my clothes off. It said it wouldn’t get turned on otherwise.
My shower likes to sing, its favorite song is “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head” by BJ Thomas.
My shower’s favorite movie is Singin’ in the Rain. It likes to sing the title song while I’m using it.
I caught my shower streaming Netflix. It said it was just trying to watch Orange is the New Black.
My shower is addicted to water. It just can’t get enough of the stuff.
My shower is so messy. It leaves water everywhere and never cleans up after itself.
My shower is scared of the dark. It refuses to work unless the bathroom light is on.
My shower loves bubble baths. It’s always trying to convince me to pour in some Mr. Bubble.
Shower One-Liners
Don’t cry over spilled milk, but you may cry over spilled shampoo in the shower.
My shower is very self-conscious, it feels naked when I’m not in there.
If showers could talk, mine would just say “Get in loser, we’re getting clean.”
Showering is like a carwash for humans.
Showers are just domesticated waterfalls.
Hot showers wake me up in the morning, cold showers wake me up to the harsh realities of life.
Long showers are like spas, but way cheaper.
Singing in the shower makes almost anyone an American Idol.
A lukewarm shower is the purgatory of showers.
Is it still a shower beer if it’s a white claw?
Best Shower Jokes
I was running late for work today so I decided to take a quick shower. I got in, got soaped up, and realized I had forgotten to grab a towel. So there I was, naked and soapy, contemplating my next move. Should I make a run for the linen closet and risk slipping on the tile floor? Should I drip dry for 30 minutes? As I was weighing my limited options, the showerhead suddenly came to life and said, “Hey buddy, looks like you could use some help!” I screamed in shock. My showerhead talked! “Don’t worry,” it said, “I got you covered.” It then proceeded to spray me with a gentle warm mist that dried me off in minutes. Moral of the story: talking showerheads aren’t such a bad thing after all.
Yesterday I was in the shower beltsing out my go-to karaoke song at the top of my lungs, as one does. As I reached the emotional climax of the ballad, hitting a particularly high note, the showerhead suddenly turned ice cold. I shrieked in surprise, and the showerhead said, “Please no more singing, you’re hurting my ears.” Turns out my showerhead is also a music critic. Who knew?
This morning as I stepped into the shower, I heard a voice say “Howdy partner!” I paused, wondering if I was hearing things. Then the showerhead tilted towards me and said in a Southern drawl “Well don’t just stand there gawkin’, come on in! The water’s fine!” Turns out my showerhead is from Texas. As I stood under the warm spray, we had a nice chat about cattle ranching, country music, and the pros and cons of chili without beans. I never knew a morning shower could be so educational!
Singing Taylor Swift in the shower is a rite of passage. So naturally I was belting out “Shake It Off” this morning when suddenly my showerhead chimed in on the chorus. In perfect harmony no less! I nearly slipped and fell. Once I regained my balance I said, “I didn’t realize my showerhead knew T-Swift!” It replied, “Oh I’m a Swiftie alright. Now come on, let’s duet!” We must have sung together for a good 20 minutes. Who knew my showerhead had pipes!
This morning I was enjoying a nice long shower, appreciating the feeling of the warm water cascading down my back, when suddenly the showerhead made a loud raspberry sound. I jumped, startled. “Hahaha gotcha!” the showerhead chuckled. I soon realized my shower likes to play practical jokes. Over the next few minutes it sprayed me with spurts of cold water to make me scream, cackled evilly when I dropped the soap, and made ghost noises when I closed my eyes to rinse my hair. I never knew a showerhead could have such a mischievous personality!
Singing in the shower is my daily ritual, so I decided to engage in some smoothtone acapella while lathering up this morning. I thought I sounded pretty great belting out some jazzy riffs, but apparently my showerhead disagreed. “Ugh, you’re flat,” it groaned as it rained water down on me. “And you missed that high note by a mile.” I was shocked my showerhead was being so rude! It proceeded to give me unsolicited feedback on my breathing, pitch, and vibrato as I desperately tried to finish rinsing off. Note to self: don’t sing around shower critics.
As I was shaving my legs in the shower this morning, I nicked myself pretty bad and yelped “Ouch!” To my surprise, the showerhead whipped around, zeroed in on my leg, and said “Uh oh, looks like you cut yourself. Don’t worry, I’ll help.” It then produced a gentle spray that rinsed away the shaving cream and blood, revealing a small but clean cut. “There, all better!” the showerhead declared. I was amazed at how nurturing my showerhead was as it tended to my wound. It reminded me of how a mother cares for her child’s injuries. I guess my showerhead doubles as a nurse!
This morning I was fully immersed in my shower concert, belting out Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” with all the drama I could muster. As I hit the climactic power note, I opened my eyes and saw the showerhead sobbing above me. “That was just so beautiful,” it sniffled. I was stunned the showerhead was moved to tears by my performance. “You have the voice of an angel sent from heaven above!” it declared through gentle sobs. I awkwardly replied thanks and went back to rinsing off, smile on my face. Who knew my showerhead was so easily impressed by my mediocre singing skills!
As I stepped into the hot shower, exhausted from a long week, I heard a gentle voice say “Rough day, huh?” I looked up to see the showerhead gazing down with kind, understanding eyes. As the warm water soothed my tired muscles, the showerhead listened patiently while I vented about my stressful job. By the time I turned the water off, I felt emotionally cleansed and renewed. “Thank you for listening,” I said gratefully. “Any time!” replied the showerhead. “Now go relax – you deserve it.” Who knew a simple shower could provide such good therapy?
This morning as I got in the shower, the showerhead whispered “Psst, wanna hear a secret?” Intrigued, I replied “Sure, what’s the secret?” The showerhead glanced around conspiratorially, then shared “They say I’m just a showerhead, but I have dreams of being a world-famous rapper. My rap name is L-Flow and I’ve been working on some sick beats. Wanna hear my new song?” I politely declined, but it was interesting to learn my showerhead had artistic aspirations. Maybe one day I’ll come home to find L-Flow has gone on tour and made it big!
As I stepped into the shower this morning, I heard smooth jazz music playing. I looked up to see the showerhead wearing sunglasses and swaying back and forth under a groovy spotlight. “Just sit back and relax baby, I gotchu,” the showerhead crooned in a sultry voice. It then proceeded to serenade me with silky renditions of jazz standards while misting me with warm water. I have to admit, it was a pretty relaxing start to my day. Who knew my showerhead was such a talented lounge singer? It really helped me ease into my morning routine.
This morning as I was shampooing my hair, I heard the showerhead make a loud slurping noise. “Mmmm, you smell delicious!” it said. “Is that coconut I smell?” I stood there bewildered as the showerhead proceeded to aggressively sniff me while making various eating noises. “Your head smells good enough to eat!” it declared enthusiastically. Things got weird when it opened its mouth wide and acted like it was going to eat my sudsy head. I had to tell it firmly that heads are for washing, not eating. My showerhead is bizarrely obsessed with food and it’s getting out of hand!
