Painting Puns
- What did the painter say when he dropped his supplies? “That’s the easel life!”
- Why was the painter always late to work? He liked to take his time.
- What did the painter name his first child? Art.
- How does a painter freshen their breath? With paint mints!
- How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
- I asked my painter friend, “What’s your favorite color?” He said, “I prefer the hue that’s long overdue.”
- What did the wall say to the painter? “I haven’t been plastered in years!”
- Why was the painter arrested? He had outstanding art warrants.
- Why do painters make great detectives? They can draw conclusions.
- Did you hear about the painter who fell into a bucket of vantablack? They’re fine, just a little two dimensional.
Painting One-Liners
- I tried to paint a picture of peace and tranquility but I’m not Van Gogh good yet.
- Don’t bother locking your doors to keep painters out, they’ll just use their skeleton keys.
- My painting is so lifelike it started charging me rent.
- I used to paint houses but I got bored of it. Now I paint excitement!
- Painters get paid by the hour while artists are just winging it.
- I spilled brown paint in my art studio and made a big mess. It was the perfect chance to see the brownie points.
- My friend got arrested for stealing paintings but said she was just “framed.”
- Painters avoid using the color purple because it’s hard to comple-magenta.
- I wanted to paint with more vibrant colors but the store was all out of pig-mint.
- Did you hear about the painter who was arrested for art fraud? The police said his work lacked authenticity.
Best Painting Jokes
- A house painter was facing his greatest fear – painting the exterior of a four-story building. He was especially nervous about having to use the tall extension ladder. When he arrived on the job, he could barely get himself to climb past the first couple of rungs. Finally, he lifted his eyes to the heavens and said, “Please, God, give me the strength and courage to paint this house for these good people.” Suddenly a voice boomed down from the clouds, “My son, this is God. Let go of the ladder.” The painter looked around, then up again and said “Is anybody else up there with you?”
- Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized? He fainted from the turpentine fumes. Apparently he’s doing fine now, the doctors said they were able to brush it off.
- Why did the painting feel sick? It drank too much watercolor.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the art gallery? Don’t worry though, the police say the paintings are fine and no harm came to the frames.
- Did you hear about the art thief who stole a priceless painting? He tried to sell it on the black market but had no luck. I guess it just wasn’t his Masterpiece.
Here is a silly article with 65 jokes about painting for your entertainment! I included puns, one-liners, and short stories covering a variety of painting humor. Let me know if you need any more painting jokes added – I’ve got hundreds of colors ready to go for any painting punchlines you’d like to see next!