Hamster Puns
1. What do you call a hamster that wanders off? A rambler.
2. Why don’t hamsters ever relax? They’re always on the wheel!
3. Why are hamsters so good at baking? They know how to whip up some mean tiny cakes.
4. What do you call a hamster who loves listening to music? A jamster.
5. Why do hamsters make great therapists? They’re fantastic little listeners.
6. What do you call a hamster that makes a ton of poor life choices? A hamstir.
7. How does a hamster send documents? Through hambstermail.
8. Why are hamsters so good at math? They’re whizzes with numbers.
9. What do you call a hamster that’s about to burst into song? A hamster that’s about to hamstir up a tune.
10. Why was the hamster fired from his job as a consultant? He didn’t hamster up any good advice.
11. What do you call a hamster that loves admiring itself in the mirror? A vain hamstir.
12. What do you call a hamster that adopts lots of children? A ham-parent.
Hamster One-Liners
13. I tried to teach my hamster karate but it turns out he’s a pacifist.
14. My hamster got mad at me when I kept reading his diary.
15. I bought my hamster a treadmill so he can work off all those hamster treats.
16. I took my hamster to the gym but had to ask him to leave because he wasn’t working out.
17. I caught my hamster using my makeup the other day. Now he understands what it’s like to be contour hamstered.
18. My hamster applied to be on a reality show but didn’t get picked. His dreams were dashed in that wheel house.
19. My hamster tried to escape last night but couldn’t get out of his cage. Now he’s behind hamster bars.
20. My hamster started an exercise program to lose some weight. Now he’s a little hamster, slimster.
21. I told my hamster a joke but he didn’t laugh. I guess I hamstered up the punchline.
22. My hamster got sick after eating too much junk food. Now he’s sworn off hamster snacks.
Best Hamster Jokes
23. I decided to take my hamster on a trip with me in the car. About 5 minutes in, he started screaming “Are we there yet?!?” Welcome to the hamster wheel of life, little buddy.
24. My hamster is writing his memoirs and asked me to edit them. After reading the first chapter, it’s clear he’s prone to over-hamsterbolizing events.
25. Yesterday my hamster said we needed to have a serious talk. He told me I haven’t been cleaning his cage enough and his living conditions are unbearable. I tried to explain that I spot clean it every day but he said that wasn’t good enough. After a lengthy back-and-forth, we agreed that I would fully clean his cage twice a week going forward. Crisis averted!
26. I caught my hamster trying to sneak out the front door today. When I asked where he thought he was going, he said “I’m running away from home!” I had to explain that his little hamster legs wouldn’t get him very far out in the big, scary world. After realizing I made some good points, he reluctantly went back to his cage.
27. My hamster loves dancing in his wheel when I play music. His favorite tunes are heavy metal hamster jams that get him racing around like crazy. The little guy certainly knows how to hamstir it up!
28. I was late feeding my hamster breakfast one morning and when I finally got to his cage, he scolded me saying “Do you know what time it is? I have a very busy schedule today!” I couldn’t help but laugh at his hamster hubris.
29. Ever since my hamster learned a few words in English, he mumbles sarcastic quips under his breath just loud enough for me to hear. The sass levels are off the charts with this hamstir!
30. My friend came over and said she wanted to play with my hamster. I explained he doesn’t really like being woken up during his naps. She promised to be very gentle…yet 5 minutes later my hamster was shrieking “help, I’m being attacked by a giant!” Poor little guy.
31. I was cleaning my hamster’s cage when he came up to the bars and said “Excuse me sir, but you missed a spot over there in the corner.” Wow, when did he become the cage cleaning expert around here? Bossy little hamstir!
32. My hamster loves when I give him new tubes and hideouts to explore. His favorite is the 3-story hamster mansion with a spinning wheel on each floor. He says it makes him feel like hamster royalty.
33. Yesterday my hamster learned how to draw and painted me a picture. I have to admit, his artistic skills are seriously lacking. I didn’t have the heart to tell him his “self portrait” looked more like a blob with whiskers.
34. I accidentally woke my hamster up too early from his nap and he yelled “Do you know what time it is? The early hamster gets the wheel!” Then he angrily rolled back over to go to sleep.
35. My hamster loves participating in my art projects. I’ll spread out some paint and let him walk around on paper to make hamster tracks. His abstract art always turns out so unique!
36. My hamster started his own blog where he reviews gourmet hamster food and rates exercise wheels. His site has really taken off – that little guy is one savvy hamstir!
37. I saw my hamster whispering to his stuffed animals when I walked by his cage. I said “Who are you talking to?” He quickly responded “Nobody! Just doing some hamster yoga over here…” Strange little guy.
38. My hamster loves living a pampered life. His favorite activities are lounging in his hamster spa, getting blowouts with the hamster hair dryer, and having me feed him hamster treats by hand.
39. I caught my hamster reading a book called “How to Train Your Human.” When I asked him about it, he said “Oh this? Just doing some light reading before bed…” Uh oh, looks like someone is planning to assert their hamster dominance!
40. My friend told me I spoil my hamster too much. I disagree – I think he deserves only the finest life has to hamster. His daily bubble baths, hamster massages, and gourmet meals provide the care he needs! My little hamstir prince deserves to live like royalty.
41. My hamster loves singing but is quite tone deaf. I’ll frequently hear him belting out hamster ballads completely off-key in his cage. But his passion and hamsthusiasm for performing is so endearing.
42. I accidentally left the hamster ball sitting out once and returned to find my hamster had crawled inside for a joyride around the house. That little escape artist went hamster-speed racing all over before I caught him! Now I know who keeps messing up my clean floors.
43. My hamster trained me to bring him treats whenever he rings his little bell. Pavlov would be proud of his excellent conditioning skills. This little guy has me wrapped around his tiny paw!